Sunday, February 26, 2012

Things to Unlike about my daughter

Well my daughter went to another school dance--Winter Waltz--and I didn't even blog about it. I didn't even capture photographic evidence of it, that's how neglectful I've become.

I did, however, Like her dance photos on Facebook, which threw her into a complete tizzy.

She immediately called me from work. "WHY did you Like my FACEBOOK PHOTOS?!?" she cried!

"Uh . . . because I liked them," I said.

Apparently I had committed the most humiliating crime of the century.

"You can Like my photos on the inside, but not on the outside!" She declared, before instructing me fiercely to Unlike her photos. ASAP!

"I just want you to be liked, is that so wrong?" I cried into the receiver. But all I heard was dial tone.

And anyway, what's not to like?

Her date is tall, dark and . . .

. . . slightly deranged.

But who isn't? That's what I always say. Live and let live.

And fer reals, my daughter looks like a supermodel, even in mid air. How can I Unlike that?

(I can kinda see why my daughter threw a pie in this kid's face, can't you?)

(Fortunately that made him Unlike her enough to ask her to the dance. You have to know how to be Unliked if you want to get asked to dances? It's the way we Utards roll.)

Speaking of which, I never showed you the photographic evidence from her Preference.

This guy also Unliked like my daughter after she beat him at tennis. (See how quickly she catches on!)

Not sure if can tell, but this dress was so gorgeous it bruised her sternum.

She couldn't lift her arms higher than this. And that face . . . Let's just say she couldn't wipe that expression off her face either--not until I cut her out of this dress at midnight so she could turn back into a pumpkin.

Good thing her date wasn't funny or she may have cracked a rib.

But I digress. I actually came here to say that my daughter has a point--some things are better Liked inside, than outside. Public disclosures and displays of pride should be kept to a minimum.

Lesson learned.

I would now like to publicly Unlike everything I privately Like about my daughter--the fact that she got accepted to both BYU and BYU-H, for instance. And the fact that she's a floral designer extraordinaire, who has already worked and saved $3,000 of her own money for college. And the fact that she's a straight-A student and a medical assistant in training, who passed three AP exams with her eyes closed and her hands tied behind her back.

The only thing I don't like about my daughter is that she doesn't have a tattoo.

And that she's planning on moving out to go to college and become an independent woman.

I might pretend to Like these things about her publicly, but don't believe everything you see on Facebook.



Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Wow your daughter is so bee-u-tiful. I like all the same things about her that you do. So why the cliff hanger? Where is she going to go? Huh? Huh? Inquiring minds want to know.

And hey am I first? That hasn't happened in a long time.

Martha said...

Yeah, where is she going to go?

I was laughing because I posted a couple of pictures of the family and I tagged everyone. Rachel untagged herself and made me promise not to tag her again! Liking is not half as bad as tagging. T should be grateful.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

She hasn't decided yet. I promise to tell as soon as she does.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh look, no more word verifier. I don't discriminate against robots.

Thanks Funny Farmer.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

P.S Martha, Z said Kahuku lost the State championship. BUMMER! Ours starts on Tuesday.

2busy said...

What a cutie she is! Aren't teenagers so hard to predict? Seriously, I never know what is okay and not okay anymore.

Garden of Egan said...

She is so beautiful.
You should so UNLIKE that!!!!!

Martha said...

Found this and had to share it with you:

Funny Farmer said...

You went and took off the word verifier because I griped? Wow. The POWAHHHHHHH!

*basks in the powah*

Now, what does it take for a Prodigal BBFF to get back on your blogroll?

Also your daughter is drop dead amazingly gorgeous. And smart and talented too, if you are to be believed. Lots to like about all of THAT for sure!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Funny Farmer! My prodigal BBFF, ha ha, you're back on the blogroll. I didn't even realize you were gone. Probably because you've been gone so long I thought you were dead. But mostly because my blog roll mysteriously disappeared in December. I had to re-link everyone by hand and from memory. I guess you slipped my mind. That's what happens when you disappear off the face of the earth.

I'm glad you're back.

If anyone else slipped my mind, call to me across the sky.

And FF, of course you have POWAH! Remember how you used to keep an eye on me and let me know what was and wasn't working? Remember how I used to check comments by clicking on my blog? ha ha You would make a good blog manager.

I hadn't even noticed that new double word verifier trick in my comment box. That's how focused I am on writing my memoirs. But when I finally did look, I couldn't even make out half of the words.