Friday, November 4, 2011

Voice Lessons

Okay, I finally broke down and bought a bag of Halloween candy. At 50% off. You know why? Because a candyless house after Halloween is a FREAKY place to be. Especially when one member of the household has a secret candy stash that everyone else wants to sink their teeth into.

Twilight's got nothing on us.

As Gad as my witness, I will never be a Halloween humbug again.

So I need to make a correction to my last post. My daughter and her friends did not make and deliver Valentines on Halloween at all. They made and delivered creepy stalker notes, which fit the spirit of the holiday better. So they say. Apparently it was just a spooky prank. So they say. And I believe them.

Although just as there is a little bit of truth in every joke, I bet there is also a little bit of love in every creepy stalker note. A little bit of Valentines in every Halloween, so to speak.

But that's just one dummy's opinion, and the thing I love about being a dummy is that if your opinion offends, you can always just blink and shrug and say, "huh?"

Plus I love just sitting down at the computer without a thought in my head and letting my fingers do the talking for me--stream of conscience style. I'm amazed at the utter nonsense that comes out when I'm not planning or preparing or pondering. A cleansing breath after doing massive amounts of serious writing, which is what I've been up to for the past few months. We writers call it working on our craft.

I've been working on my craft, peeps! And guess what! I'm in a writer's critique group now. So I can work on my craft.

I. love. it.

What writer's critique groups do is they support and encourage each other as they work on their craft. And also they critique each other. Which means they help each other get literary.

Bet you can't guess what the #1 critique writers who are working on their craft give each other.

Too bloggy.

Bloggy is an adjective now. It means too much punch. And in my case, too much spiked punch, if you get my drift.

But yay for too much spiked punch every so often, huh!? After a hard days work, huh!?

Can I get an amen?

It may not get you into grad school or earn you respect in intellectual circles, but what the hay! That's what I always say. What the hay!

I'm writing a collection of voice lessons, and guess what lesson I learned from my own voice lessons? I learned that I love my dummy voice. Fer reals, I would marry her, cept she couldn't support me.

I've also learned that your voice is fragile. You gotsta protect it because when it doesn't blend, people will let you know. Not writer's critique people, who are trying to help you refine your voice, but proper authority people.

I'm talking about one of my ex-young women. She's still a young woman, but she's not MY young woman anymore since the bishop broke up with me. See a few nights ago I attended YW in Excellence and my ex-young woman was practicing a musical number for the program. She was singing her heart out and her voice was so fresh, so original, and so unique that it bounced off my soul in new and exciting ways.

But all of a sudden the woman accompanying her on the piano stopped, and, in her best church lady voice, gave her a voice lesson of her own.

"Maybe that type of singing is okay for a country song, but IT'S. NOT. APPROPRIATE here in the church."

You know what I have to say about that?

Because that just ain't true now, is it! Every voice is beautiful to God. Especially a voice that comes straight from the heart.

Which reminds me of a hundred stories.

Maybe I'll tell them someday.

When I'm finished working on my craft.


Susan said...

Aw, your YW was probably crushed. I hope you hugged her and told that other lady to buzz off.

Becca said...

And Isn't That Special?

(If I were the country-singing, lovely songbird, I would miss you. Just saying.)

Diana said...

I can't help but think the country style singing would definitely depend on the church too. My across the street neighbor sings all country church music all the time. Of course, he's Baptist, but still, I with you - Sing a new song, unto the Lord, Let your song be sung from mountains high.

Sandi said...

Amen sista! I'm so glad you have a craft! And you are right...every voice is beautiful unto God, except for a certain someone who sits behind me every Sunday. ha ha JK JK JK I don't want to burn in you know where! ( but it's kinda true) Can't wait for your hundred stories :)

Stephen said...

Very bloggy....In a good way!

Kazzy said...

I am glad you are in a writers' group! I know how important that part of your life is to you.

I agree with you about every voice being beautiful to God, but I have to admit, as a singer, that too many YW sing in a pop voice when they sing at a church event. It kind of bugs me. All the same, you have a sensitive spirit and I am sure you know the girl's heart.

How ya been???

Jill Campbell said...

Critique writing group sounds awesome. Maybe I'd actually write if I had one. Although critique singing group sounds awful. Maybe ward choir would be better with a few tamborines and not so much of the pear-shaped-tone stuff. Just sayin.

Leslie said...

I love reading you keep it!!!

DeNae said...

Boy, I sure hope that accompanist knew that girl well enough to get away with something like that. As someone who taught voice lessons to teenagers for 25 years, I can tell you they are fragile, fragile, fragile. Your voice is so different from any kind of instrument. It's the same instrument you use to express your YOU-ness to the world. And you just have to be so careful when evaluating someone else's "voice." I love your Crash voice, too. And I bet your critique group is totally awesome, even though one of them lives on the dark side of the moon, aka Tooele County. :-)

Scooby and Jon said...

Seriously? The girl was gutsy enough to sing in front of people for a church event, and was stopped in the middle? Pretty sure stopping in the middle of the performance and criticizing is not appropriate for church either.
Plus, I bet the girl wasn't rapping little drummer boy, so how bad could it be, really?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha You guys make me laugh. Blogging ROCKS.

Scooby and Jon, your little drummer boy comment CRACKED. ME. UP. Stephen, yours too.

But I must clarify that she stopped her in the middle of practice, not the performance. The poor girl did not have the kind of relationship with the church lady needed to let that kind of lesson fly, but she handled it like a pro, (even though I am not exaggerating when I say it was delivered in classic church lady voice) Her mom cried, but she got back on the horse and knocked the song out of the ballpark, even though it was restrained.

We all need a little restraint now and then, I s'pose.

Dolly said...

So sad. I want to write that girl a note and tell her what my daddy always told me. The gospel is true and don't worry too much about the people, because that will not be where you find the truth.... they are just people trying to live the gospel the way that it relates to them.

(If this posted twice... it's because I didn't see it post the first time.)