Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I mean Merry Christmas!

Fer reals, one day I'm in my t-shirt walking my dog in a world consumed by goblins and ghosts, and the next day I'm walking through a winter wonderland, listening to Justin Beiber deck the halls under the mistletoe.

(Where did Thanksgiving go?)

Seriously, JB's got an R&B Christmas album out, peeps. And he raps the Little Drummer Boy. In fact, he might even think he is the little drummer boy.

(Pa rum pum pum pum.)

Either that or the king of pop.

Check it:

Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum
Yeah I’m on the drum yeah I’m on the snare drum
Yeah I’m on the beat cause the beat goes dumb
And I only spit heat cause I’m playing for the sun
Playing for the king, playing for the title
I’m surprised you didn’t hear this in the Bible
I’m so tight, I might go psycho
Christmas time, so here’s a recital
I’m so bad like Michael I know
I’m still young, I go, I go
Stupid, stupid, love like Cupid
I’m the drummer boy so do it, do it

See what I mean?

I'm toying with the idea of adding a rap to my Crash Test Dummy Christmas album.

I'm surprised I didn't hear this in the Bible either.

Does anyone else gotsda Bieber fever?

Yeah, me neither. Me neither. Me neither.

Fa la la. La la la. La. La. La.


Okay, that was random. I didn't come here to rap about JB, but when he mentioned stupid and cupid in the same sentence it made me think of something that happened on Halloween. My daughter made Valentines!

I knew you wouldn't believe me so I snapped some photographic evidence when she went out to deliver them:

See if I was frumpty dumpty for Halloween, she was grumpty dumpty. You get me? All because she heard that people in Utah wait by the door with their shotguns for trick-or-treaters over the legal age of 12.

This did not bode well with her. She likes candy. And she likes Halloween. And there are no shotguns in Hawaii on Halloween.

So we all stayed home and pouted, without any candy, because I didn't even buy any candy. In fact, my twins had to risk their life to go out trick or treating just to get some candy to give to our trick or treaters.

It was just a big ole' McScroogey mess. Especially after we turned the channel to Hawaii Five-O. We all just sat there crying in our candy. (Minus the candy.)

But then my daughter's friends came over and all the sudden they were making . . . valentines. For boys.

Go figure.

They got busted, of course, because cupid ain't on-duty yet, and you can't get anything past the boogeyman.

(Is that even how you spell boogeyman?)

Btw, do I sound like I've been sniffing too much candy? (Minus the candy?)


Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Wow snow on the first of November, kind of sad.

I wish I had not bought any candy. Makes dieting rather challenging all this sugar lying around.

Well Mele Kalikimaka to you and yours.

Barbaloot said...

I love Thanksgiving---I wish people wouldn't be so quick to skip to Christmas! Or Valentine's Day....what's that all about?!

Jillybean said...

I'm sitting here listening to Christmas music on the radio and eating my kid's Halloween candy. (They left it sitting out, so I'm just going to assume that they want me to eat it)
You should have come trick or treating to our neighborhood, our some of our neighbors give out full sized candy bars, we have busloads of kids from other neighborhoods that get dropped of at our neighborhood to cash in on the goods.
If you had come to our house, we would have given you candy (or secretly slipped you ketchup packets from fast food restaurants, cause that's what we give trick or treaters over the age of 12)