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Saturday, March 9, 2013

Anything's Possible


Four months without writing a single blog post. Have I lost my mind, or found it? That is the question.

Alls I can say for myself is that it's super hard to be dumb when you're trying to be smart.


Wait, I take that back. Just last week I facilitated a brilliant discussion on Emerson and then drove straight to my twin's junior high to pick them up early from school. I signed them out, and even excused an absence from the previous day, while the attendance office called them down over the PA system. When my twins didn't come, they made another announcement. I thanked her kindly, then stepped into the hallway to wait. After a moment of staring at a Caveman sweat shirt hanging on the wall, a disturbing thought slowly dawned on me.

My twins don't go to this school anymore.

Maybe it's not that hard to be dumb when you're trying to be smart, after all.

I would say that I haven't written because my life is too predictable--that day in and day out all I do is stand at the front of a classroom, pouring knowledge and wisdom into the heads of a bunch of sassy-pants teenagers--but my life has actually taken some unexpected turns lately. For example, we bought our dream house, my son's high school basketball team won the national championship, and I quit watching American Idol.

I didn't see any of that coming.

Oh, and I'm a primary teacher now.

I didn't see that coming either.

It happened so fast. A member of our new bishopric stood in my foyer (my dream house has a foyer) and said "We want you to teach the five-year-olds."

"But . . . but . . . I . . . I . . . just moved in," I said. "How will I make friends if . . . "

"I know what you're thinking," he said. "And it goes against everything I believe in to call a new move-in into the primary. Believe me, I would never do this to anyone else, but we feel really, really strongly that you need to teach the five-year-olds."

There was a pause while I blinked and stared.

"In other words," he continued. "God NEEDS you to teach the five-year-olds."

So anyways, I'm teaching the five-year-olds.


I suspect I came into my new ward with a warning label. My old bishop probably called my new bishop and told him to keep me as far away as possible from all the sassy-pants teenagers, unless of course he wanted combined activities that included kissing tag and spin the bottle.

So anyways, Forrest Gump was right when he said life is like a box of chocolates. If you had sat me down last March and said, hey, at this time next year you'll be teaching high school AND primary, and you'll no longer be watching American Idol, I'd have poked my eyes out.

If you had also told me I'd be living in a house with a foyer and my son would be playing on the best basketball team in the nation, I'd have poked your eyes out.

Guess it's good we can't see what's coming, else we'd all be blind.

There's a moral here. There's a definite moral here. Dr. Seussical knew what he was talking about when he said anything's possible (especially if you have Nick Emery, T.J. Haws, and Eric Mika on your team). I'm in a whole new realm of possibility. And who needs friends when you've got five-year-olds? And who needs American Idol when you've got Duck Dynasty and Downton Abbey. And a foyer. And a garage. Our dream house has a garage too. And a shed. It also has baby blue carpet and wallpaper, and my boys bedrooms are pink, which just goes to show that even dreams need to be updated, if you get my drift.

Some people get to live a dream they never thought possible, and the rest of us get to live a dream they never thought desirable--someone else's dream, for instance. But hey, just because one man's dream is another man's nightmare, doesn't make it any less valuable to society as a whole. I mean, as long as you're living the dream you're handed to the best of your ability. I mean, my son never thought he'd be a national champion, and I never thought I'd be a high school teacher, and . . .

What was my point, again?

Oh yeah, my life is goooooood. My life is fantastic. I get to wake up every morning at 5:00 a.m. and make lesson plans. It is theee bessssst. I love it.




I am a dummy who is changing the world, one sassy-pants teenager at a time.


That being said, there was one time I thought I might be in the wrong profession. It was the day the yearbook survey came out and my students nominated me for class clown.

25 comments:

springrose said...

Love ya Crash! It's been too long! Way too long to go with out a post from you to read! Glad you are living your dream!!!

Mariko said...

I'm cringing a little. Because the truth, it hurts.
The bessssssst.

Jami said...

You're teaching the teenagers, but you are so together that you are doing it eight years ahead of time. Don't try and pull that dummy stuff on me. I know you were just trying to be the one who shapes their little pre-pre-adolescence brains.

Congrats on the new house and finally letting go of American Idol.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

OH my goodness. It is sooo good to hear from you. Wow what a life you are having. So cool for your son. Remember a few years ago when you were worried about a certain decision of where to have that child go to school? I guess you made the right choice. Kudos to all of them and now they need to get their sassy pants to BYU and help them out. Sheesh. Just sayin. I hate it when life gets so busy that one doesn't have time to blog. Something is wrong with that. And I LOL at the school story. Sounds like something I would do.

Best of luck with the rest of the school year.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

OH and PS my son who had all the hip problems is in the MTC right now. So happy and sad about it at the same time. Funny Farmer joked that because all the nursing him back to life stuff our apron strings are so thick we need a chain saw to cut them. More truth to that than I would like to admit. But after two weeks I seem to be adjusting pretty well.

OldBoatGuy said...

I missed you girl!

Stephanie @ D. and D. said...

Love me some Crash. I love that your dreams (even the parts you never thought about) are coming true. You deserve dreams and more.

Scooby and Jon said...

I teach the five year olds too! I love them.

2busy said...

I have missed your words, but obviously, you are beyond busy with your dream home and primary and a national championship...

OldBoatGuy said...

Still too busy to resd our love.

wendy said...

YAY...your back, and in full bloom.
What a lot of wonderful things happening to you right now.
I didn't know you were a teacher?? And you are right, who needs friends when you know all 5 year olds LOVE YOU unconditionally.
(not so sure I'd be down with the 5 a.m. lesson preparation thing)
Happy too about the dream house. Hey,( to quote UNCLE SI...and I was thrilled to hear you love Duck Dynsaty!!!) I am 62 and haven't actually got my dream house yet. It is a darling little itty bitty house of 950 sq feet.....but I'd like something bigger.
Dreams sometimes just need to be adjusted eh.
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY for your son and his basketball team.

robin said...

Thanks so much for the laugh about being at the wrong school. I only laugh because I can see myself doing the same thing.

As for the Primary calling... I was shocked when I got called to be the Primary president last October. My sister is still laughing at me for saying the day before going into the bishop's office that I don't get big callings like this ... and then I did.

Haley Monson said...

No one could ever exceed your level of awesomeness. You inspire me daily.

Debbie Frampton said...

ALOHA to all of my dear friends. Who needs 5-year olds or sassy-pants teenagers when I've got my ol' blog buddies. It is so good to see you all here in my comment box again. I have missed you much.

OLD BOAT GUY, air hugs to you. How is the old boat resurrection going? When are you going to marry my mom. hee hee J/K.

Nutty Hamster Chick, LY!! I am so happy to see you again. And so happy to see your sons are blooming. I bet you are proud and lonesome.

When I see all of you here I get sentimental and think of the good old days when life was just one big joke, and there weren't no sassy pants teenagers to shape and mold, or national championships to be won, and there was only one Jr. high so you never got mixed up, and foyers were just a twinkle in our eyes.

But where's Martha? That's what I want to know. I miss Martha. But I hear she's busy building her own dream house. I wonder if it has a foyer?

LY Jami, Springrose, Wendy, Mariko, Robin, Scooby, 2busy, and Stephanie. Hey, Stephanie has a book coming out this month everyone. I was there when she pitched it. And I was there when she carefully cited all of the sources. I feel like I can take some of the credit for her success. ;)

And look, there's a new girl on the block--Haley Monson. She's one of my sassy-pants students who will be in print one day--mark my words. I feel like I can take some of the credit for her success too. ;)

If you don't have your own success, you might as well take the credit for someone else's success. Am I right, or am I right?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oops! It's been so long since I blogged that I was signed in under my smarty pants name. That whole last comment was from ME.

OldBoatGuy said...

Never kid a kidder!

Martha said...

Here I am!!! I quit checking your blog because you never write. Then today I had my Pandora on at work and I heard that song, "Love, Save the Empty" and I thought of YOU!!! So I checked your facebook and saw that you wrote yesterday. What??? I couldn't believe it. So it must be fate.

I want to see your new house. Someday we will start ours. Just last week I paid for flood insurance. Yes, we had to insure the dirt in the front yard. So the bank is sloooowwwly working on the loan.

Sydney M. said she saw T in the MTC Health Center!!! Can you believe all the missionaries? It's crazy awesome.

My Joshie is doing so good. 7 1/2 months out already. Check facebook for some pics of him.

We still hope to come to Utah this summer, but the flights are so expensive. I haven't booked it yet. Ok, bye for now. LY

Martha said...

Yesterday I wrote a huge comment and it disappeared. I hate that. Anyway, here I am!! Glad you are sorta back. I stopped checking your blog a while ago because I couldn't deal with the disappointment of not having anything new.

I want to see your new house!! It sounds awesome. Can we camp in the foyer in June. I still haven't booked the tickets yet because they are so expensive.

Martha said...

Yesterday I wrote a huge comment and it disappeared. I hate that. Anyway, here I am!! Glad you are sorta back. I stopped checking your blog a while ago because I couldn't deal with the disappointment of not having anything new.

I want to see your new house!! It sounds awesome. Can we camp in the foyer in June. I still haven't booked the tickets yet because they are so expensive.

Martha said...

Oh, maybe you have to approve the comments now, that's why it's not showing up. Ok, so I don't have to rewrite everything.

Martha said...

Oh, maybe you have to approve the comments now, that's why it's not showing up. Ok, so I don't have to rewrite everything.

IWA (e - va) said...

God Bless those 5 Year olds! Ive missed your Writing!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

MARTHA!!! IWA!!! AAAAAH! I'm so happy to see you guys. Hugs. Yes, come camp in my foyer. I see you guys have booked your flights. I am excited to see you all.

LY to both of you.

P.S. Yes, Tatum sees EVERYONE at the MTC. Coolest job ever!

P.S.S. Comments don't show up after so many days and if I don't check in I don't notice. I'm going to see if I can change that right now.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Okay, I fixed it. That won't happen again.

Laura said...

Hey CRASH-
I've missed your "sassy pants" writing too... glad you're back!