Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Invisible Red Thread

Since dear Jami is no longer posting I thought I'd try my hand at some of her superfluous miscellany. I'm not sure if I'll be able to pull it off since everything I write is usually so relevant and essential and applicable, but here goes:

Yesterday I received a lovely baby shower invitation for someone who is in China at this very moment adopting a child.

The invitation shared this ancient Chinese proverb:

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break."

This ancient Chinese proverb, like all ancient Chinese proverbs, made me ponder deeply.

First, how do the ancient Chinese know the thread is red if it's invisible? And if it's invisible anyway, does it matter if it's red? Why not just say there is an invisible thread, or a clearly visible red thread rather than an invisible red thread?

Second, if the invisible red thread is stretchy and unbreakable, wouldn't that make it more elastic than thread?

Third, wouldn't thread most likely break if it's criss-crossed and tangled across the universe?

All things considered, I took it upon myself to revise this ancient Chinese proverb in order to make it more pointed and realistic.

"Regardless of time, place and circumstance, two materials connect those who are destined to meet--invisible elastic, which stretches but doesn't break (unless you cut it) or clearly visible red thread, which criss-crosses, tangles, then most likely breaks on it's way across the universe."

That's more like it, don't you think?

Remind me sometime to tell you how I really feel about destiny.


Emily Anne Leyland said...

HAHAHAHAHA- I always get my first hefty giggle in the morning when I come by your blog. starts my day off right:)

*kinfix* oooh-eery

The Crash Test Dummy said...

kinfix? oooh, that is eerie.

Mine says relavi. WOW! Double meaning. Relative and relavent

Emily Anne Leyland said...

CRAZY!! These verifiers must be possessed :)

now it says *inchabbi* maybe we need to get Abby in on the kin fixin :)

Funny Farmer said...

I think I may have said this once before, but this wickedly clever post compels me once again to declare: I. Love. You.

And I don't mean that in a nicey-nice-superficial-I-say-the-same-thing-to-every-blogger-I-meet kind of way. Oh no. My blove is True. Deep. Abiding. Forever.

You are the only Dummy for me.

Funny Farmer said...

Oh. And the thread that connects us is DEFINITELY red. I know this because that is the color I see when I am laughing so hard reading your posts that I can't breathe.

It's a sign.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha ha Funny Farmer!

I. Blove. You. Too.

In an invisible red thread kind of way.

LBBlum said...

CRASH- maybe we should just use magnets? Ya know if you stretch elastic too much and THEN it breaks and snaps back a you IT STINGS! But maybe the chinese have it right.. because if you move too far away from people... you love.. it does sting.

"Deep thoughts" I miss that on SNL.

On a side and selfish note: you know that book you won at my totally fun and hip surprise party? The painted veil?? I want to borrow it.. .along with a few tomatoes please...

LBBlum said...

I love that we live two houses down from each other.. yet we will blog to each other instead of walking over.. or even calling..
why get out of my seat? when I can just blog to you.. and then send one of my sons to go get anything I need to borrow?

Martha said...

Ok, so I googled "Invisible Red Thread" because I desperately needed a deeper understanding of this proverb. Guess what? there's a website called Their proverb is slightly different. It says the red thread connects a newborn child's SPIRIT to all who will be important in her life.

So actually we are connecting spirits, which I think is even more difficult, because how do you tie a thread to a spirit? Even if your thread is visible elastic that would be pretty hard. Can you imagine the criss crosses and tangles now?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Swirl, you are so right about the stinging. I love it when you wax philosophical.

Send your son over for the tomatoes, but don't expect me to get out of my seat to get the door. And the book was Three Cups of Tea, but I Emily lent me the Painted Veil on DVD. I haven't watched it yet though, so you CAN'T HAVE it.

And don't call me, I'll call you. I mean, don't call me and I won't call you!

Funny Farmer said...

Swirl, that is PATHETIC. If I lived two houses down from Crash, I wouldn't really, because I would be LIVING at her house and basking in her coolness, always. And maybe she's very glad that I don't live two houses down for that very reason. Heh heh... boundaries... who needs 'em? :looks around furtively:

Which brings up the question - if you are always at your friends' house, are you really borrowing something, in the true sense of the word?

I blog at her because I am how many thousands of miles away? You, Swirl, and Martha, and Mariko, and whomever else actually lives in the same island, are truly spoiled. Carpe Diem!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Martha, ha hah ha ha ah ah ah aha ha

Thanks for the extra research.

Don't call me either. Not even through your kitchen window.

The Crash Test Dummy said...


I'm not that cool in person. Seriously. Just ask Swirl and Martha. Mariko doesn't know it yet because she lives across the street.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

P.S. Martha, can I borrow some thread? I'm all out of red.

Funny Farmer said...

False modesty doesn't look that good on you, you know. You should write a post about that.


Martha said...

Yeah, we need to Carpe Diem instead of sitting on our behinds typing at these computers.

Since now we can't even call Crash on the phone or yell out the kitchen window, I guess we will just have to get out of our chairs and go to her house. What are you planning for lunch?

Sorry fresh out of red thread and bread, but I do have red tomatoes and today is tomato day so more are coming.

Ok, I'm going to my measly job now. bye.

P.S. I have an interview today for the other job, wish me luck.

Melanie Jacobson said...

This post right here is why I come back here everyday, even when common sense tells me not to.

Heidi said...

I can't think of anything to say--you said it all. (Jami will soon be back, BTW, so get hopping on the miscellany of the superfluous variety before then.)

Mariko said...

Ooo. I think it should be velcro, where one person is the hook and one person is the loop, and if they happen to brush against each other they are stuck forever unless you pull really hard (or at least harder than a 3 year old can pull). Plus they'll be smashed together.

Mariko said...

And even though I live across the street I've been hoping to catch a glimpse of you somewhere so I can catch you being not so cool (cewl). Hasn't happened yet.
I'm reading 3 cups of tea right now-- extremely good. And you mean you're watching the non-cleanflix version of the painted veil?! So naughty!

Alyson | New England Living said...

This is one of those times when I'm reading you that I say "who thinks like that?"!! You do, that's who! And that's why I read you and blove you and all the rest of it!

Funny Farmer said...

Mariko! If you'd read my blog today you wouldn't be surprised at Crash's naughty watching of a non-clean-flixed movie. She's going first class, baby!

Barbaloot said...

K-my first thought was totally how do they know it's red if it's invisible. Glad you pointed that out as well.

Also, just a reminder, you're supposed to tell us sometime how you feel about destiny:)

OldBoatGuy said...

You girls are absolutly CRAZY.

No wonder you didn't answer the phone this morning ff, you were commenting.

pretrin.......pre tri na.....does that mean before the try? Na.

Funny Farmer said...

OBG - I heard the phone ring, but I was er... indisposed. Why didn't you leave a message?!

At least my dad calls me before he blogs me. hahahaha

Mariko said...

By the way, Jake is TOTALLY mad at me for saying that on my blog. He said I'm making him look bad. He swears he wasn't trying to hide the cheetos from me, and it's not fair that he can't defend himself when I've already blackened his name. He did not laugh at ALL.

Well, I did. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Funny Farmer said...

So did I!

He did not laugh because the guilty taketh the truth to be hard.

Why the heck does he care what a bunch of women think, anyway?


MakingChanges said...

Very impressive deep thoughts.

sinumett is my word... did I sin when I met u???? More deep thoughts.

I am LoW said...

Yeah- yours is WAY better!

Don't forget to tell us what you think of fate. :)

Jami said...


(P.S. I believe in the invisbile thread though I'm with you on the color thing. Um, it's invisible!)

Emilee said...

Okay, you're a crack-up.

I've seen you around, I'll be back.

P.S. I don't even think there is any material that's long enough to go around the universe.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Wow, you guys had so much fun in the comment box yesterday while I was working. Boo hoo. Oh well maybe I will get to join in the fun today. Where is today's post?

*MARY* said...

If Chinese people knew what they were talking about, I wouldn't be in this fight with my husband right now.

What kind of husband doesn't want to see Twilight with his wife?