Friday, July 16, 2010

Pat, Victoria and LaFonda

Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!

I (accidentally) found something Lulu will eat. Besides socks. Something edible.

Cat food.

She'll eat cat food. Not only will she eat it, she'll snarf it down like nobody's bizness.

Do you think Lulu is a cat stuck in a dog's body?

(Not that I care, I'm totally tolerant when it comes to animal orientation.)

Guess what else! Guess what else! Guess what else!

Pat, the Nutty Hamster Chick, picked me up from Big-O Tires yesterday and took me to the Olive Garden while I waited for my brakes to get checked. It was the one year anniversary of the Crash Test Dummy Olive Garden blogger lunch, and I had not one, not two, but three servings of Zuppa Toscana soup.

Can I just publicly declare that I never want to see another bowl of Zuppa Toscana again. In fact, this is the last time you'll ever hear me utter the words Zuppa Toscana.


Anyways, eating Zuppa Toscana with Pat is like eating Zuppa Toscana with a very old, dear friend.

Did that come out wrong?

Not an old, dear friend per say, more a we go way back, dear friend. It was like, "So Pat, how's your mom? Is she still in remission? And how's Jared's hip? And what about Trent? Did you cry at the MTC? And how's that little cutie patootie Diana? And what's your hub's name again?"

That's what blogging does. It helps you see that blogging friends are people too. Just like me and you.

See what I mean?

(BTW, get a load of Pat, she's wearing her seat belt. What a silly goose. I guess she takes the Crash Test Dummy experience very seriously.)

(Get it? Crash test dummy?)

(Sometimes I crack myself up.)


(Does it not look like we printed this photo on a piece of paper towel, or what?)

I have to tell you that Pat's voice is like butter. It's so sooooothing, you just want to grab a piece of toast and jar of raspberry jalapeno jelly and smear it all over her face.

Unlike Nevada and I, we didn't talk about neuroses. We talked about secrets.

Not our secrets, other people's secrets.

Not other blog people's secrets, other real people's secrets.

(It's nobody you know, so stop your speculating.)

I personally feel that secrets are bad. Bad, bad, bad. Except my secrets. My secrets are necessary.

The only person who shouldn't tell her secrets is Victoria. Victoria's Secret is . . . kinda naughty. I know this because after the Zuppa Toscana I actually stopped by Victoria's Secret to pick up a gift for my niece's wedding shower.

My, oh my! Oh my! Did I already say that Victoria's Secret is kinda naughty? I would go so far as to say it's kinda naughty Marrietta.

I'm out of the naughty Marrietta loop, peeps. I honestly couldn't decide between the teensy tiny French maid uniform for $58.99 or the itsy bitsy sparkly pink baby doll for $48.99.

(And that Love ROCKS body lotion? It costs $20.99!! HELLO! Love don't ROCK that hard! Especially when it's misspelled.)

I decided on the baby doll but HOLY CATWOMAN, Batman! Gimme some lace and glitter and I coulda/woulda/shoulda made a sparkly pink baby doll for only $5.99.

Actually, I just bought a real pink baby doll at Walmart for $5.99.

Meet LaFonda. She's my trek baby so I can't take responsibility for her name.

Here's a true story about LaFonda: My twins found the Victoria's Secret receipt on the kitchen table this morning.

They freaked out.

"You paid $48 for LaFonda?"

How do you explain to your 11-year-olds that no, you didn't buy a baby doll for $48 from Walmart, you actually bought a piece of sparkly pink lace for $48 from a naughty lady named Victoria?

Hee hee hee Look what Lulu just did to the receipt:

Not only is my dog globally responsible, she's also morally sound.

P.S. Garden of Egan, are you exhausted again?

P.S.S. You have to read back a few posts to get all the allusions in this post. Look to it, peeps.

P.S.S.S Raise your hand if you want to go to the Jack Johnson concert with me, my hub and my daughter on August 13th. I've got two extra tickets. Come back tomorrow to find out how you can win them.


Untypically Jia said...

Okay first of all . . . Zuppa Toscana . . . MMMMMM....

Anyways . . . My dog and my cat have switched brains. My dog sits on the top of the couch where cats usually balance and she hates sitting on a persons lap.

Then there's my cat (who LOVES dog food) and needs constant attention or she whines and cries.

The Songer said...

Me, Me, Pick me, Pick me! i want to go! But i wont be in utah so feel free to give it to your second choice! All my utard friends will be there!

I swear everyone is at Olive Garden today, That was everyones FB status' today and i was slowly getting jealous, but its official, Im jealous! and you got to spend the day with Pat.. i bet it was nonstop giggling and laughing and then hysteria! and Secrets and Victoria... Thats like the best day ever! LOL!

Love that you named her Lafonda.. I just saw ND monday and then watched BOY yesterday.. You should see it, Its Hilarious... its like the Poly version of ND!

Sassy Salsa girl said...

But was the Zuppa worth every bite? And I love JJ!!!

Kazzy said...

A 48 dollar babydoll?? You way over paid! giggle

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Iwa, I've never seen BOY. I must watch it.

Okay, here's what terriyoung201 said:

Support you!!! Refueling Hello!!! Thank

I thought it might say something about Jack Johnson, but it's just a supportive refueling hello!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Untypically Jia!!! I just realized that Pat talked about you over lunch. She said you are awesome and I have to visit your blog.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Are you guys wondering why I'm up at 2 a.m?

I'm getting ready for Island Park. We leave tomorrow morning so if I disappear here and there it's because I'm in Ideeho.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Jia, that is so bizarre to see you here. True story I told crash she needs to check your blog out. I am a perpetual lurker there.

I don't beleive you will never eat soup again. No way. I bet if you went tomorrow you would totally have some.

Love the name Lafonda, but will it be totally tragic if you have to burry her along the trail? I think so.

Unknown said...

Имам одлучи да започне коментирајќи на македонски, затоа што сум уморен од таа друга коментаторот добивање на сите внимание и на преведувачот не листа "Персиски" како опција.

I mean that.

Katherine said...

So when Kyle told me what you named the trek baby, I wondered if you had watched "Napoleon Dynamite" as part of your trek activity. I loved how you tied that in with the bridal shower...too funny! Did Tatum sleep a lot yesterday? That's so cool that they made it all the way to the top of Timp!

val of the south said...

So.very.jealous! Of lunch with Pat, not the pink babydoll ;)

TisforTonya said...

hehe - laughing hysterically at the confusing receipt.

I left one in my car once that the kids found and questioned the Item LDS swimwear... they wanted to know why we had special swimwear just for being LDS... (ladies, for those of you who are confused, is often abbreviated LDS on receipts)

nevadanista said...

*raises hand*

But why does it have to be in freakin' Salt Lake????? No fair.

Dang, I should have stayed another day to hear all the secrets.

Damaris @Kitchen Corners said...

yes I want to come to the JJ concert with you. It will be the perfect reason for me to FINALLY come to Utah.