Monday, January 16, 2012

Wow! Just Wow!

So I washed my hair and now I'm just regular ol' me again.

My Haven Kimmel daze ain't as much fun with curly hair and sweats, (especially when I'm doing dishes and laundry) but I'm still basking in the afterglow of meeting the author of A Girl Named Zippy.

In fact I've been inspired. To write a book. A Girl Named Dummy. What do you think?

I haven't been this inspired since I read Julie and Julia and started my cooking blog called Dumb and Dumber. Remember that? Unfortunately I threw in the towel after two weeks because my kids thought everything I made tasted like air freshener.

So guess what I finally did today? Saw Breaking Dawn. If I were a Brit I would say that movie is a bloody mess, but I'm an American and we like our romance messy in America--give or take a few pints of blood.

Honestly? Can I tell you honestly what I thought? Honestly, honestly, honestly? I was honestly shocked! Stephanie Myer shocked my socks off. Stephanie Myer, you spin my head round, baby. Like a record.

I was prepared for the predictable. Even though I haven't read the books, I wasn't born yesterday and I don't live under a rock and I'm not fresh off the boat. I knew there would be vows and after vows. (And how!) I knew the consequences of those after vows--first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage. And I knew Edward was going to bite and Bella was going to sparkle.

But HOW in the WORLD did I MISS the memo that Jacob was going to hook up with Edward and Bella's baby daughter, Renesmee? !?! Holy friggin' snap!

First of all, COMO SAY WHAT?????

Second of all, Renesmee? Really? Seriously? Really? Steph, remember Spiderman? With great power comes great responsibility? Ring a bell? Do you not realize how many Renesmee's will be born in in 2012 in the state of Utah alone?

But whatever! The point is Jacob put his imprint on Renesmee.

Four words: Whatchu talkin' bout Phyllis!?

I didn't see that one coming. Granted I wasn't looking, but I really didn't see that one coming!

Hats off to Stephanie Myer. Bravo, girlfriend. I bow to your brilliance.

And hats off to you peeps--and to the rest of the world--for keeping that cat in the bag for me. Did you guys do that on purpose? Because WOW! Just WOW! I feel like I've been punked. Or flash-mobbed. Or Truman-showed. I mean, that was the greatest dramatic irony ever.

High Five.

Down low.

Too slow.

(HA! Gotcha!)

(But seriously, I'm kinda hurt that no one told me.)



Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Do you live under a rock or what? It is kind of a genius solution to the whole triangle thing, but a bit creepy at the same time. I felt the same way when I read the books. I am sorry if I knew you didn't know I would have told you.

Barbaloot said...

I kept my eyes closed during the blood scenes---even when she was just drinking it. Ew. Didn't see any of the birth scene. I wish I could keep my ears closed when they say Renesmee. Gross.

Despite all that, I've read the books more than once. I'm such a sucker.

Martha said...

I just saw this over Christmas break. I caught up on a ton of shows and movies during my knee injury. You'll be glad to know I took off the knee brace on Wed. and am walking around almost normal. Anyway, I though it was just plain weird and could barely get through it.

Oh, Coach Porter says Josh can be on the tennis team. Yeah, Josh. Those Seasiders are super good, so I don't know if he'll get to play ever, but at least he can go to practice and see what happens.

I need to read that Zippy book since she's from my homeland, Indiana. And Danae still hasn't sent her daughter over to see me.

Jami said...

I'd have told you, but I didn't know you wanted to know. The second half of the last book was actually my favorite part of the whole series. And the sex parts in the first half were hilarious. Overall, a serious waste of my mortal probation, but when I have to account for the time, I'm planning on using the "bonding with my daughters" excuse. None of us had any desire to see the movie though.

Garden of Egan said...

Thaks for ruining it for me.

Garden of Egan said...

Ok. Just kidding I already knew. I was just part of the conspiracy theory to keep it away from you.

Smart Helm said...

Why is it when you read a book first you are like, what?!?! Wow! And then you read it again and think.. ok, kinda silly. And then you read it again and think... Sheez this is dumb.

I'm so glad ur still at the Wow part! You can see why I am not that interested in the movie, especially after Barbaloots comments.

Susan said...

Agreed. You really do live under a rock.