My daughter gets more love notes than any person I've given birth to. And not just from prince charming's who ask her to Prom, but from friends and neighbors and leaders and cousins too.
Someone is always dropping off brownies or cookies or candy or rainbow roses. Last night she got a necklace made from a Hawaii quarter with the word BEAUTY stamped across it, and a Mustache Mug full of Dove chocolates.
"These are American fortune cookies," I squealed.
"Technically they're chocolate promises," said my daughter.
"Tomato, tomahto," I said as we unwrapped each piece of chocolate, read our promises, then added the secret ending (in bed).
Can I just tell you that American promises are much more on point than Chinese fortunes. It's almost like Americans write their promises with the secret (in bed) ending in mind. Take my first promise for instance: "Get a good nights sleep (in bed)." I mean, how much more spot on can an American chocolate fortune teller be?
Check this one out:
Americans really get that a good day's sleep is as valuable as a good night's sleep.
My daughter's fortune said, "Too much of a good thing is wonderful (in bed)."
"True that!" I said. "You can never get too much sleep in bed. It's next to impossible."
"Unless you start worrying about all the things that happen while you are sleeping," my daughter added.
"Touche," I said.
My next fortune said, "There are no limits today (in bed)." I took that as permission granted to sleep in as long as I wanted today, and I didn't roll (out of bed) until 5:45 a.m.
There was only one promise that didn't work with the secret ending, although it could work if you had a water bed. "Create your own spa (in bed)."
"I wonder why Americans are so fixated on relaxing and sleeping?" I mused to my daughter.
"Sick and tired, I guess," she shrugged.
After we finished reading all the promises, we re-wrapped each piece of chocolate and returned it to the mustache mug. Then my daughter opened the note that came with the mug:
"I mustache you something. How come you're so amazing?"
I was kinda glad that wasn't an American promise.