You've Got a Friend

So yesterday the phone woke me up from my Sunday nap.

It was my MIL. As her chit chat turned to chitter chatter I dug through the fridge trying to find some whip cream in a can.

No such luck. I had to settle for a bag of stale flaming hot Cheetos to take the edge off.

The chitty chatty bang bang continued as I sat down at my computer and clicked opened my comment box.

"You have one week left to get your 2008 family highlight photos to me," she sang cheerfully. "I'm putting my scrapbooks away in a week."

The cheetos were working their magic and my face was heating up nicely.

"Well, it will be a cold day in happy valley before you get those photos," I mumbled.

(I couldn't help it. My throat was on fire.)

She was like "huh?"

And I was like "OMGOSH!"

And she was like "What? What's wrong?"

"OMGOSH! . . . nothing . . . nothing's wrong . . . OMGOSH!"

My face had just burst into flames. And not because of the Cheetos. It was because Ellen Hopkins left a comment on my Monster post.

ELLEN HOPKINS! The New York Times BEST SELLING author of Crank and Glass.'

Thank you rich and famous author Hopkins! You made my day. The only thing that would have made me happier is if you'd said "Crash, you are crazy cute. Do you want me to hook you up with my agent?"


But seriously, this really got me thinking though about how someone important can just drop in out of the sky and make your day like that.

Wouldn't it be awesome if James Taylor's You've Got a Friend song was true and you could really just call someone's name and they'd come running.

Who's name would you call?

I'd call Erma Bombeck. And then I'd call Martin Luther King, Jr. And Jackie Robinson. And all the rest of my Jacks) And Charles Dickens. And George Elliot. And T.S. Elliot. And Shakespeare.

And then I'd call Tim O'Brien. Tim O'Brien, please drop out of the sky and make my day. Please, please, please. I promise I will buy every Vietnam Veteran a Peenya Kowlada Jamba Juice if you do. And I'll Go Large and add immunity boost if you tell me I'm crazy cute. (After I recover from my heart attack.) And I will sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow at the top of my lungs if you hook me up with your agent?

Tim O'Brien, you don't know how many students I have turned on to you. A simple thank you is all I'm asking.

Tim O'Brien?

Tim O'Brien?

Do you guys mind if we just sit here and wait for him to come and make my day?


If you get bored you can click here to go to my serious site. I wrote a poem today, Ellen Hopkins style. I haven't written a poem in years, and sheesh, it's an awful lot of work (and guilt), especially when you have ungraded papers and unwashed dishes and unswept floors.

I'm also going to post on my Magic Quilt site today (later after I grade and wash and sweep) so check back in. And I'm sending off a package of fabric to Kritta soon so any of you from Hawaii who want your fabric to hitch a ride--Martha, Mariko, Iwa, Lia, Carol, Kute Kasey, Wolfgang, Liz, Siana and all you other lurkers--look to it!

LOOK TO IT, Peeps! There are millions of people who need a little magic, ASAP!

You wanna see an answered prayer? (And a true SPAM story?)

I can't decide if Crash is taking over my personality or if my personality is taking over Crash!

Today I spent three hours in a professional development meeting with 9 of my colleagues and Mormon scholar, Terryl Givens, and all I could think of to say was "hmmmm, that's so cool" and "What an uber awesome idea!"

(Intellectuals really do have uber awesome ideas, I wasn't just saying that to be nice.)

I was trying to keep up with the conversation, really I was.

I was focusing really hard on all the cute vocabulary words like totalizing and secretism and my brain was doing backbends over all the uber awesome concepts like cultural collision and collective revelation.

But honestly, three hours of concentrating made me hungry and it didn't help that the guy sitting next to me was wearing a SPAM tie.

I kid you not! A SPAM TIE, peeps!

AND get this, the guy on the other side of me was wearing a pineapple tie. Seriously! I don't know if food themed ties is a Hawaii thing or an intellectual thing. Probably the latter because, generally speaking, intellectuals tend to be a little dorky like that (in a cute way) (bless their brilliant little hearts).

(Hey, don't hate the messenger! I don't write my material, it writes me. I'm just calling it like the universe sees it.)

But really you can learn a lot from intellectuals. Like did you know that the media suffers from attention spasms? I didn't either, but it makes so much sense. No wonder they're always like Look at me! I'm talking, here! Is this thing on? I swear if you look away again I'll get a charlie horse.

And did you know the biggest problem we made during the war in Iraq was the debathinization of the people? I was so shocked. I just don't get why we would forbid anyone to shower. What a strange strategy. No wonder everybody criticized George Bush so much. You strip people of their personal hygiene and what have they got left?


Anyway, do you guys want to see what my 10-year-old's primary prayer looked like when it was answered? (You must read My Irreverent Super Bowl Sabbath post to fully understand.)