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Monday, July 26, 2010

August 24th!!!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!!


That's the date the third Hunger Games book comes out.


Did I already say, AAAAHHHHHHH? I can't wait that long! I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't!


Especially after spending the last two days reading furiously through the first two books.


I'm hooked, lined and sinkered, peeps. OMGOSH! Sooooo hooked, lined and sinkered. I even faked sick on the let's-drive-through-Yellowstone day, and then flat out defied my hub's orders to TURN OFF THE LIGHTS AND GET TO SLEEP! Two nights in a row!


High Five to Suzanne Collins for hooking, lining and sinkering me. Me, who can't even get hooked on phonics.


Word: If you haven't read The Hunger Games yet, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT STARTING IT. Until August 22nd. Then read Catching Fire on August 23rd. Then get in line at Borders at midnight to buy Mockingjay on August 24th.


I'll save you a place, k.


Nother word: Plan on faking sick. Or running off into the woods for a week, with your hub's famdamily. That's what I did. In fact I'm in Ideeho, right now. Island Park, Ideeho.


Bills Island, to be exact.


Hodge Lodge on Bills Island to be really exact.


(Was that TMI?)


You can google map it if you want to know my exact coordinates. (Unless you're a serial killer or a CTD stalker. Don't google map it if you fit either of these profiles.)


On second thought, go ahead. I'm not there anymore anyway. I wrote this post days ago, but the Wifi at the Hodge Lodge was so spotty I never got it published. Now the whole post is so yesterday so I need to rewrite it, which is probably a good thing because, as they say in Ideeho, what happens at the Hodge Lodge stays at the Hodge Lodge.


PSYCH!


Do you really think I could spend a week with my cutie patootie MIL and not tell you everything?


Not with that face I couldn't. And yes, that really is a flamingo on her mumu.


Tune in tomorrow for highlights. You won't want to miss the photographic evidence of her startling realization that 78 year olds can no longer hop on one foot. (But they sure can toot while trying.) (Told ya she was a cutie patootie. hee hee Get it? PaTOOTie? )


Okay, stop twisting my arm, I'll show you the photographic evidence now:


Do you think this is what Jordan Sparks meant when she said, no air?

My MIL may not be able to get air, but she sure can play a mean game of pool.


Check. her. out. Not only does she play mean, she wins mean.


I'm telling you, the Chica's got the Midas touch. She wins every freakin' game she plays. Especially when she plays double solitaire. Against me.


Which reminds me of the great idea I got for a new reality TV show. It will be kinda like The Big Brother House meets Survivor meets The Brady Bunch meets Lord of the Flies meets The Plan of Salvation. I'll call it Famdamilies are Forever (thanks to duct tape). Here's the premise:whole entire family will be stuck together in a Lodge on an Island for time and all eternity. There will be challenges and obstacles and confrontations. And there will be weapons. And then once a week there will be a tribal counsel and someone will get voted out of the family. 

(Is anyone else seeing dollar signs?)


As Gad as my witness, my MIL will be the last dummy standing.


Bless her heart.


She could outlast the energizer bunny, that one. But I lub her guts for it because she makes me LOL. Especially at 3 a.m. when we're debating controversial issues and she's not completely lucid but she refuses to go to bed until everyone else has gone to bed. 


It's a good thing she doesn't drink. 



More tomorrow . . .





20 comments:

Garden of Egan said...

It looks like your MIL is the best in the world......well, except maybe me. I'm an awesome MIL (I think)

Glad you had a good time. I don't blame you for faking sick in Yellowstone. You've seen one buffalo you've seen them all. I drove through Island Park on Friday night staking out a camp site. I should have popped over to Bills Island and stalked you. Too bad I didn't have your cell phone or ancient Chinese number or something.
Hope you came away unscathed or you know, without the trots if ya know what I'm sayin'

OH, my VW:
ovens

You better get cooking.

Barbaloot said...

I hadn't planned on waiting in line at midnight for Mockingjay---but if you promise to save me a place, I'll be there:)

How can a 78 year old not hop on one foot and still be a pool shark? Sounds questionable.

nevadanista said...

Wait a second... back up!!! You skipped a trip to YELLOWSTONE?????!!!!! The first National Park in a our nations history? One of the most unique and beautiful places on EARTH! A place where people from all corners of the globe come to awe at its wonders? You skipped all that to get sucked into a book about a homicidal game show!!!!!!!! And that same book has been sitting on my dresser for months and I haven't let it distract me from mere housework yet? What kind of freakin' idiot am I????? (don't answer that)

I'll be crackin that thing open just as soon as I return from this latest semi-annual health care tour with my mom.

Your reality show idea is a total winner, but I think the tribal coucel should be more like a group therapy session, and I volunteer to lead your famdamily in discussing all your deepest neurosoes before the vote.

T said...

it's been on my calendar for months... with the note to ManOfTheHouse to pick up dinner on the way home and just slide an energy bar under the bedroom door every few hours.

Me obsessive? okay, yeah...

(if you need something to while away the time you can read her earlier series - Gregor the Overlander - for a slightly younger audience but still well done)

Living the Scream said...

I was just talking to my husband about these books and wondering when the third was coming out!! I definitely can't wait either!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

DON'T DO IT NEVADA! Didn't you see my WORD? Wait until August 22nd. You will thank me later.

Ha ha ha ha about the therapy element. There's no one I'd rather diagnose the family neurosis than you!

And Garden is right, you've seen one buffalo, you've seen them all. I'll provide photographic evidence tomorrow.

Barb, there are a lot of things that sound suspicious when it comes to my MIL. Her Ham hock and bean soup, in particular.

Garden, I wanted to stop by the ER on Saturday on our way home and surprise you with some fake blood gushing from a fake injury, but we were traveling in a caravan and the rest of the famdamily have no sense of humor.

T, I'm totally going to pick up that book, since I have lots of time to while away right now. Or at least I will after Trek this weekend.

Braden said...

I am so glad you found the hunger game series. Pretty intense, isn't it? I am very excited to hear more about MIL. I love her already.

Martha said...

I checked and the BYUH library has that book right now. If I could find my id I would go check it out. I'm doing the full time advising until today because it's the last day to add for First term.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh Martha, I miss you today. Bryson and Tristan and Maia are here and it's making me HOMESICK! Especially when you talk about academic advising and last day to add first term. SNIFF.

Don't go check that book out until August, girlfriend. Not if you want to get anything done on your house over the next two days. You have to give yourself over completely. Without interruption.

Braden, I'm sure my MIL would lub you too. My M does.

cfoxes33 said...

I haven't heard of those books, but now I am interested.

You have a wonderful MIL! Mine passed before I was part of the family, so enjoy her while you gotst her.

have a great day!

Vern said...

Your MIL is preCISEly the kind of person I would love to see liquored up!

Sandi said...

Yay! Your MIL posts are my absolute favorite!! I think I lub her guts too. I am missing my hunger games book and am on the warpath to find out who borrowed and did not return...I was hoping to read them again before #3 comes out. I KNEW you were going to love them!
p.s. got to see April this weekend...love that girl :)

iMaLLheaRt said...

I was hooked on those books too and didn't even realize that the third one hadn't even come out yet!! I was so bummed when I finished the second book!! I can't wait for the third one!!!

Kazzy said...

I want to be a great MIL and have my DILs love me to pieces.

Annette Lyon said...

I hope I'm that fun when I grow up.

But maybe sans flamingo.

Melanie J said...

Love those books. Already pre-ordered Mockingjay. Can't wait!

陳晏李秀樺雄 said...

出遊不拘名勝,有景就是好的..................................................................

Cheeseboy said...

I think that reality show sounds awesome. I'd watch.

My parents have a cabin in Island Park. Right next to the resevoir.

Like your blog. I may be back...

Migillicutty said...

OHMYGOODNESSYES! Those books are SOOOOOOOOO GOOD! I still haven't decided if I'm gonna go to a midnight release or pre-order it. But I know I WILL have it in my grabby little hand thw day it comes out!

Gale or Peeta? I say Peeta.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh, oh, oh, Peeta please! But then I feel bad for Gale. Poor Gale. It's not his fault, but I say Peeta too! Let's go to the Midnight release . You'll be in Vegas and I'll be in Utah so that means you'll have an hour head start.

Oh Cheeseboy, are you serious? Which cabin? Do tell. Next year I could drop by and bring them a block of cheese. :) I hope you do come back because I lub cheese.

Okay so my Chinese commenter says the informal travel brings a good view. Ain't that just the gosh darn truth?

Vern, you're right. My MIL would be a riot liquored up. But believe me, she doesn't need it. Not one bit.

Sandi, you lucky duck. April texted me and bragged all about it. You and Suli. But where was Kute Kasey?