Thursday, October 27, 2011

Don't Forget to Breathe

When God created the world I bet he spent a lot of time on the human brain, holding it up to the light and examining it from every angle to make sure he was providing the earth with just the right balance of man power. I bet he seperated the brains into categories--those who could think in numbers, and those who could think in letters. Or in images, acronyms, explitives, etc. Finally, just for fun, I bet he made one extra brain that could think in song lyrics.

My son got that brain.

Which reminds me of a joke I just made up: How many dummies does it take to teach a family home evening lesson about sex?

Two--one to drop the "S" bomb, and one to drop the soundtrack.

With four teenagers in our house, my hub and I decided it was time. To tackle that topic. That awkward, awkward topic. I was unprepared by how much less awkward that awkward topic can be when put to music. My 15-year-old son, an improv troupe unto himself, can really isolate a point and drive it home with music and dance. By the end of the lesson, we were all singing songs from his Just Say No album--songs like "Naturally" by Selena Gomez, "How to Love" by Li'l Wayne, and "Don't Let me Fall" by B.o.B. Choreography was also included, under his direction.

And that, peeps, is what it's like to live in the Dummy household. In case you were wondering.

Which leads me to a story, because my brain thinks in story.

Does anyone else's brain think in story? That's why we blog, right? Blogging allows us to upchuck our stories on a regular basis, with the knowledge that someone somewhere is listening. I wish my MIL had a blog. She's been chucking up her stories all over me lately. And by that I mean, daily projectile vomiting over the phone. In fact, when she calls, I automatically hold the receiver straight out and away from my ear so as not to get slammed by all her chunks of story.

I don't blame her, she's unclogging her brain, which we all know requires an audience. I'm trying my best to clean up after her by picking up all of her pieces of story and putting them back together in, what she likes to call, her family history.

Such an impending word, family history, but basically it's just a bunch of stories we heave onto the page, right? And if you think about it, writing your family history is a lot like being pregnant. First you feel really, really tired. Shortly thereafter the nausea commences, followed by months of worry and discomfort. You can't sleep, you can't eat, you can't fit into your skinny genes, but finally, when the story is ready, you labor and deliver, until out pops your posterity.

We all know there are things that make pregnancy easier, right? Prenatal care. Lamaze classes. Support groups. Ice cream. Abstinence. But did you know that these same things can make carrying and delivering your story easier too?

Which is exactly why I've signed up for some prenatal care and Lamaze to help me learn how to pump out my MIL's stories. Or at least breath through the pain of it. Hee hee haw (Them's breathing sounds, not giggling sounds.) Because seriously, abstinence ain't no option when dealing with my MIL.

What I'm trying to say, in my roundabout way, is there is this cool conference coming up. It's called Story@Home, and if you are interested in eating ice cream and deep breathing with me here are all the deets:

WHAT: A conference to celebrate the power of story. Come learn to share your story with the world, bring the past to life, tell a captivating story.

WHEN: March 8-10

WHERE: JSMB and the LDS Conference Center

WHO: Hosted by FamilySearch and presented by Cherish Bound

HOW MUCH: Only $79.

This is not exclusively an LDS event! Anyone who loves to say what they need to say is invited, but there is a limited amount of pre-sale tickets for bloggers, so reserve your ticket now because once FamilySearch releases their tickets, the event will be sold out.

Make sure to go and Like the Facebook page for up to date information about the conference.

And don't forget to breathe!


DeNae said...

My goodness, I'm kinda wishing I hadn't eaten teriyaki chicken blobs for lunch. All that singing and dancing and barfing... whoof!

However, I love the notion of getting your MIL's chunks o' history written down somewhere, because she. is. a. card.

Maybe you should do that: Put her stories on cards and sell them to Hallmark!! Hee hee! I'd buy the whole set!

Momza said...

I SO want to come for the Conference!
I love a good story.

wendy said...

sometimes I have to "wonder" about the making of some brains people possess, that God sent here.
Now, I wish I would have had you around for inspirational ideas for FHE....however
I know we never did one about sex

The conference sounds like it wiill be great. Dang, just another one I have to miss out on.