Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Phyllis. And the "other" drum stick

So my daughter, as perfect as she is, has a disorder. It's a hearing disorder. She hears fine, don't worry, it's just that her ears can't quite translate lyrics correctly.

Bless her heart.

She got it from her dad.

It's true I thought Sean Kingston's eyeballs were stuck on his plate, but trust me, she got it from her dad.

You know that song by One Republic about how it's too late to apologize? For years she thought they were saying it's too late to call the child.

Again, bless her heart. That sweet sweet heart that went out to that poor, poor child waiting to hear from his parents, who were never going to call because it was just too late.

I could go on, but . . .

Okay, so remember this catch phrase?

Course you don't. You're too young. But somehow my daughter found out about it because she recently busted it out, and it went a little somethin' like this:

And I quote:

"What 'chu talkin' 'bout Phyllis!"


Ah, she kills me.

You know what else kills me? Yesterday during tennis practice she hit a few dead tennis balls (on purpose) over the fence at the band, who was also practicing.

Don't ask. I choose to believe it was a term of endearment. I also choose to believe the drummer in the band is just as endearing because he threw his dead drumstick back at her.

Are they a match made in heaven or what? She is now the proud owner of one very dead drumstick. (How romantic is that?) And I am now on a mission to find the owner of the "other" drumstick.

As Gad as my witness, If I have to search every drummer in the state of Utah, I will find that prince charming and bring them together in holy matrimony before I shuffle off this mortal coil!

(I hope he's cute.)

You would do the same thing if the drumstick was on the other foot, right?

(And btw, yes, I told my daughter that she would be one dead drumstick if I ever catch her throwing tennis balls at the band again.)


Kazzy said...

sigh... Having a daughter would be awesome. Especially if you just have an awesome daughter.

Jillybean said...

Now don't be too hasty about her not throwing tennis balls at the band. Your high school band will be competing against our high school band this Thursday, and if a few more of them lost a drumstick it would certainly work in our favor.

Sandi said...

ahhh, do let us know how that romance turns out ok? I'm so glad you got to see Martha and have rice crackers and li hing and take bad pictures..ha ha

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I love that phrase. I say it all the time. In fact now my four year old niece says it too. It really is heelarious to hear it from a small child.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

PS is there any chance you are going to the BYU football game this Saturday night?

Garden of Egan said...

I think Phyliss is PERFECT.
Glad she's deaf.
Or lyric challenged.

Momza said...

My kids have selective hearing...but I don't think they have what ails your clan. They recant lyrics, lines form movies, tv shows, and viral youtube videos. They have their own sickness.
Hope the Drummer Boy has a tune worth remembering! lol

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Momza,I still think of your kids recanting the eyeballs stuck on your plate lyrics. hee hee

Nutty, somehow I knew you would remember that. We picked up all the same pop culture when we were kids! And about the BYU game, we don't have tickets. Why? Are you going to be there?

Jilly, your comment had me smiling before I fell asleep last night. And believe me, I needed that smile. Thanks. You are such a cutie patootie.

Kazzy, awww shucks. I needed that attitude of gratitude before bed too.

Garden, ME TOO! Elsewise I would have nothing to write about. ;)

And Sandi, imagine what volatile match made it heaven this romance will be. ha ha

Becca said...

Oh, girl children are the Bees' Knees, or something. And I love that your girl child would even be able to (wrongly) hear the name Phyllis, because who even knows anyone named Phyllis anymore? Besides my Aunt Phyllis?

And now you should write a Cinderella story about dead balls and drumsticks and see if it comes true.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Yes I will be there. I am coming up for a Missionary Mom luncheon thingy in Salt Lake. And so while I am in town of course I need to go to the game. I am actually looking forward to the fireside on Friday night even more than the game. So you can be waiting with baited breath for another of my world famous BYU football posts. And can I just say how rude I think spell checker is to not know that BYU is a real word. Whatcha' talkin' bout' spell checker.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh Becca, you don't understand. My daughter's favorite name is Phyllis. Fer reals.

Wooootwoo, Pat. You are coming back to Zion! Hopefully there will be a new and exciting quarterback playing for your viewing pleasure! Fingers crossed. I will let you know if we can get some tickets. Sometimes we can. We can hook up and I can be in your stalker post. hee hee

Keola Kinghorn said...

Debbie! I loved this blog so much, you know why? Because I say Phyllis instead of Willis too. I always have. And then I married my husband, Phil, and he LOVES it when I get all smart and say "What 'chu talkin' 'bout Phyllis!" He loves it so much he can barely stand to be around me when I say it. I think its partly because I am saying it wrong and partly because I am calling him Phyllis.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Keola!!! No way!!! You have got to be kidding me!? That just blows my mind. No wonder I like you so much, you are just like my daughter. I hope she marries a guy named Phil now. She did have a stalker named Phil last year.

That just made my day.

Martha said...

Did you see the Modern Family where Phil talks about how his father in law says "Phil is ...." and it sounds like Phyllis? Today Tommy wrote me a note and had to ask Rachel how to spell "ganu". She couldn't figure out what the heck he was saying then he said "I'm ganu Hatricks house". Oh "going to".