I have three things to say about the American Idol finale, besides the fact that it felt like I was watching a frantic ho-made pie convention, where I had to FF through the commercials as well as the musical numbers because even that darn Nikon cool pix camera was a little too suggestive for my three teenage boys to be viewing on a Wednesday night after their Boy Scout Court of Honor.
You get me?
Is Fox in bed with MTV?
Okay, first, is it just me, or have Scotty McHotty and Lauren BoBoren fallen in love?
But how could they not? I mean, they were the last two remaining, down-home, squeaky-clean, teenage country sangers standing on that big ole' stage like Katniss and Peeta against the world. The world of helkfire and damnation.
(Does Beyonce make pies too?)
Second, I LOVE that Casey Abrams picked Jack Black as his idol! And that they sang a Queen song.
Queen ROCKS, and Fat Bottomed Girls has long been a family favorite.
Why do television producers have to take music so literally? Huh? Huh? Huh? Don't they know that the fat-bottomed girls are figurative? And besides, if you're gonna go literal, go LITERAL! Don't send a bunch of pleasantly-plump-bottomed girls on stage to shake their booties at my three sons after their Boy Scout Court of Honor!
FAT means FAT, peoples!
And finally, why didn't anyone tell Lady Gaga that she had huge rips in the back of her black fish net stockings? Right in the vicinity of her pleasantly-plump bottom.
She must be so embarrassed!