Maybe you couldn't tell from my last post, but I have a dream! A dream that one day the sons of former athletes and former athlete owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
When my dream comes true, I hope there are hamburgers on that table. Big, juicy hamburgers. Smothered in sauteed mushrooms and onions. And Avocado. And provolone cheese.
I'M HUNGRY, PEEPS! I can't remember the last time I ate anything besides jelly beans and empty headed bunnies.
Last night was our ward Senior Recognition Night. We're losing nine of our precious youth--bless-their-hearts-I-hope-they-don't-let-the-door-hit-em'-in-the-backside-on-their-way-out.
I was in charge, which always increases my appetite, but decreases my cooking time.
My hub came home from work on Tuesday and the cupboards were bare. And the table was empty. Empty, alls except for nine fleece blankets in media res.
"What should we eat?" said my hub. "Besides fleece."
Usually I say something like, Hmmm, let's whip something up, but instead I said. "HAMBURGERS! Me. Want. Hamburgers!"
"Okay," said my hub. "Let's run over to Little Caesars and grab some pizza."
"Me no want pizza!" I protested. "Me want HAMBUGERS! Smothered in mushrooms and onions and avocados and cheese . . ."
"Okay, let's go to Burger King," he said. "The Whopper Juniors are only $1."
"Me NO want Whopper Juniors! Me want HAMBURGERS!" I said. "BIG, Juicy hamburgers! With mushrooms, onions, avocados and cheese! Hamburgers that cost at least $4!"
My hub began knitting his brow.
"Let's go to JCW's," I said.
Knit. Knit. Knit. "That's a little pricey," he said. TO ME! Me, my face, and I! Who last month spent a mere $16.49 on fast food, $4 of which was spent solely to butter up the Burger King peeps before hitting them up for 145 crowns.
Suddenly I started to itch. With a B. I was itchy all over.
"You're right," I said. "We really should save our MONEY for the *@#@bleeeeeeeeep@ tournament fees. I think there's lettuce in the fridge anyway."
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" said my hub incredulously. "Are you fer real? You would rather spend money on HAMBURGERS than TOURNAMENTS for our KIDS?"
"Yes!" I shouted. "I'm selfish like that! When I'm HUNGRY!"
This morning I rolled over in bed at 6:15. "What do you want for Mother's Day?" whispered my hub romantically.
"Me. Want. HAMBURGERS!" I whispered back sweetly.
P.S. I'm off to the Storymaker's conference in Salt Lake. No, my book is not ready to pitch, but no worries. I am going to bring all my children's trophies and medals to see if anyone is interested in publishing them.
Wish me luck!