Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Nothing is Impossible (except writing a short post about how nothing is impossible)

On the day I was born my mom handed me a little black box marked Dummy, which contained my inheritance. Inside were her eyes, her laugh, her patience of job, and her Boho Momo ability to look past obscenity and find the truth, beauty and love in life.

I returned her patience of job because she needed it more than me, but I kept her Boho Momo superpower because I needed it more than she.

(WORD: Boho is short for Bohemian and Momo is short for Mormon. Both Bohos and Momos value truth, beauty and love, but Mormons are also keen on meetings, manuals, programs, handbooks, guidelines, and standards.)

(Oh, and perfection.)

So my mom is the sweetest little delicate slip of a woman you'll ever meet--well-mannered, soft-spoken and shy. The kind of woman who blushed if I said CRAP in front of my young women leaders, or turned bright red if I came home from my honeymoon declaring, "OUCH, that HURRRRRT!"

When I was ten, her brother got married to a florist named Debi from Pleasant Grove, who had two kids and a potty mouth. She could spew a string of swear words from here to Vermont with her tongue tied behind her back.

And yet my mom never even flinched. Or talked behind her back. Or shoved earplugs into our holy heads.

Finally one day I said to my mom, "Golly jeepers, that Debi sure can cuss like the dickens, can't she?"

"But she has such a good heart," said my mom. "And she's funny. And she makes the most delicious salads." Then she paused. "Maybe she's just going overboard on the swearing right now because she's new in the family and wants to see if we'll accept her as she is."

Nuff said.

John Bytheway (can I call him John btw?) says, in effect, that you shouldn't expose yourself to 10% yucky stuff just to get to the 90% good stuff, so I, Crash Test Dummy, being of sound mind and body, am taking it upon myself to do it for you.

U. R. Welcome. That's what friends R 4.

I'm talking about rated R movies, of course. I've watched a few over the past week. And now that I've waded through all the crapola, I'm going to share with you all the . . . what's the opposite of crapola?

I just asked my hub and he says fruit. Fruit is the opposite of crapola.

I'm now going to share with you the all the fruit from the last five movies I watched:

1. Soul Surfer. The NOT rated R story of Bethany Hamilton, who got her arm bit off by a shark, and then went on to became a professional surfer anyway.

LOVED IT! So many great . . . fruit lessons, but the line that sticks to memory most: I don't need easy, I just need possible.

You go, Bethany!

2. 127 Hours. Eeeeeew! Eeeeeewwwww! Eeewwwwwwwwww! This is the story about Aron Rahlston, that guy who got his arms wedged under a falling rock in Moab, Utah, and had to cut it off after five days in order to survive. Shudder, shudder!

Where was that darn shark when he needed it? (Toldya you can't get bit by a shark in Utah.)

Whodathought cutting off an arm could be such a bloody mess. I had to cover my eyeballs during much of it, because, DUDE, Aron Rahlston's got guts! But he's also got a ton of blood.

My favorite line: I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Conviction. There are no bloody arms in this movie, but it's still an inspiring true story about a girl who spends 18 years getting her GED, her Bachelors degree, and then graduating from law school, so she can become her brother's lawyer, prove him innocent of murder and over turn his life sentence in prison.


Favorite line was a conversation: Q: Is it possible? A: It's HIGHLY unlikely. Q: But still possible???

4. Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. I loved it. What can I say? How can you not love a kid who sticks it to Disney and Nickelodean by rising to super stardom without them, while flipping his hair back and forth in all sorts of adorable directions? It's a fascinating journey and I'm a new fan.

And I learned a new lesson: You can replace a human heart, but you can't replace a human vocal chord.

Your voice is irreplacable, peeps!

Favorite line: I will never say never!

5. Love, and other Drugs. Wow! This movie is a hard-core rated R, so don't see it if you have delicate sensibilites. You have to wade through a lot of crapola, but the ending is divine, and the character arc for both leading actors is superb. I adore Anne Hathaway! (And Jake Gyllenhaal ain't bad either.)

Jake Gyllenhaal decides to give up his fast track life of money, success and loosey goosey women to take care of Anne Hathaway, who he LOVES with a capital LOVES, but who also has Parkinson's Disease.

The most poignant moment is at the end when Jake tells Anne that he needs her and she says, "I'm going to need you a lot more than you need me."

And he says, "That's okay."


Life lesson: Sometimes the thing you most want, doesn't happen. And sometimes the thing you never expected to happen does.

Favorite line: You meet thousands of people, and none of them really touch. And then you meet one person, and your life is changed. Forever.

All of these movies are based on true stories, except one, of course, but I like to think Jake Gyllenhaal would chose a sick girl over a hundred healthy girls any day, and all of these movies have the same movie wisdom:

Some things are highly unlikely, but not impossible, which is okay because we don't need easy, we just need possible. So NeVeR say NEVER! And don't be afraid to scream I NEED HELP! at the top of your lungs sometimes, because you're going to need help a lot more than help is going to need you.

And that's okay.


P.S. I would like to dedicate this movie wisdom to New England Aly, who recently came out about her sexual abuse as a child on this blog, Leave a Trail.

Yesterday Aly asked me this question in my comment box:

Do you ever really, really stop crying for yourself? Because I believe I will always mourn for not having the family that everyone else in church seems to have. I've lost out on being close to nieces and nephews and having extended family for my kids. So I weep for my kids too. And I don't know if the crying for yourself ever stops. I mean, I know it slows down and can be a very tiny part of your life, but won't you always miss what you didn't get? I believe I will, though I believe it doesn't define me. Know what I mean?

Do you feel the same?

I know EXACTLY what you mean. And yes, I have felt the same.

But I don't feel the same anymore. When I first started blogging I wrote this post called Today I'm Happy/(Sad) and it starts out like this:

Today I'm happy.

At least as happy as I get. I can get mostly happy, but I'm always partly sad too. That part never goes away so I'm used to it. But today I'm mostly happy (and only a little part sad.)

Well, I'm not partly sad anymore. I'm all the way happy now, but not in a Whoooopeeeeee kinda way. In a whole, complete kinda way.

It's possible. Else what good is the atonement for. You might have to cut your arm off, or get Parkinson's, or you might have to move to Utah and buy a Golden Retriever named Lulu, but it's possible.

LY Aly! I know you can do it.


springrose said...

I'm not a R rated kind of girl. But a few of those do sound tempting! And can I just say I love you Crash!!!! And I love Ally! I love reading her journey, and how it hits close to home in so many ways with others I know. I know she can do it, just like you did and we all can. Amen!!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Yes well it does give one hope to hear of someone else who used to feel mostly happy/partly sad, who now feels mostly happy/ partly happy. Indeed cause for hope.

I went back and read your old post, which was great, I mean who doesn't love a great Costco story. But I really loved was reading the comments. You know back in the day when we used to all hang out like a laugh in episode each of us popping out of your comment box. Yes those were the good old days for sure. Aly was there and funny farmer, and well it was nice.

Thanks for the memories girls. You are the best.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Oh and did I mention that I am very impressed with the way you wove all those movie messages together to make one giant message of hope.

I just read Pursuit of Happyness this weekend, which was pretty much a R rated book, was the movie? I didn't every see the movie but now I don't need to because I learned the valuable lessons from the book instead. Seems like he is another example of someone who managed to survive a pretty horrible childhood. It was an interesting book.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Springrose, LOVE YOU TOO!

Nutty, Oh my goodness, YES, you're right. It was like a laugh-in episode. Those were the days. I miss those days.

And I don't think Pursuit of Happyness was a rated R moive. I can't remember anything bad about it. But then I wouldn't remember that. Like when I raved to everyone about Miss Saigon and they were all like "But that's about prostitution." And I was like "Oh. I didn't notice."

And when I raved about SPAMALOT and everyone was like "But that's about SPAM." And I was like "Oh, I didn't notice."

I'm a dummy like that.

Okay, I just checked and it was rated PG-13.

Vern said...

I've heard so many people, even normal REASONABLE people (including you) that they really liked the Justin Bieber movie. I haven't seen it yet but I'm open to it, which is new for me!

katie the greatie said...

Crash, it's Becca. I'm having big trouble logging out my Kid. So I'm in disguise. Or something.

I just wanted to pop over and say that you make me happy. I've been a blog lurker - maybe for ever, but especially lately, and I think it's time to share the love. Your Boho Momo brings me much joy.

The end.
(except for this: My word veri is "frumba" - as in Frumpy Zumba. Made special for me.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Vern, I hear ya. ha ha I was a little reluctant, but now I've got Bieber Fever. ha ha (J/K!!!!)

Becca, HUGS! I just finished your Romantic Obsessions. LOVED IT. You are such a cutie patootie!!!!

I could totally use some frumba right now. haha

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Thank you, Crash! Love you! And love your messages!

Hmmm...I guess what I'm saying is that it's ok for me to have bad moments from time to time. I'm ok with that. Because my life is pretty awesome 99.9% of the time. I don't think I will ever totally get over not having my old family, just as I wouldn't totally get over the death of my child or husband. The atonement is there for me in my bad moments. The spirit is there to pick me up and make me feel really loved. I will always cry tears over those things, but that's ok because crying is good for you. Crying is good for the soul...and good for the body. "Sorrow that hath no vent in tears, maketh the organ of the body weep." - Dr. Samuel Johnson.

So, I guess I'm not trying to never cry again, because I want to get the sorrow out from time to time. It's healing. And I will be going through the healing process my whole life. I believe once this life is over, only then will my pain be completely over. The pain is such a small part of my life, though, that it doesn't bother me that I will always have a tiny part of that for as long as I live. I'm happy. I'm happy, blessed, and joyful. But a couple of times a year, I will be a little sad.

But isn't it the same for everyone? Everyone will have to deal with pain throughout their lives. It's only once we move on to the next life that anyone can be completely free of pain - physical, emotional, or mental. It's all part of the mortal experience.

Even though, I know tears will always come from time to time, and I want them to, my healing is been extraordinary these last couple of years. The miracles and blessings that have taken place, especially in the last couple of months, have healed a lot of doubts and struggles.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Wow! I wrote a novel in the comment box! Sorry! But I do want to express that I have infinite hope, even in low moments. Hope is an amazing healer.

Glad to have "crashed" into you so long ago on the blogosphere! You're words and experiences always inspire!

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Love you, springrose!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

I recently read somewhere that the tears you don't cry will show up in the lines on your face. Or something like that.

Its true what you said. You have to keep crying until it gets less and less, and then something new will pop up that brings more tears, you're constantly wringing different pains, but each pains adds to your beauty, if you don't hold it back.

There's nothing shame about pain. It makes you more interesting.

Am I right? Or am I right?

But, you're right. There is always a tender spot for what you lost or missed. And from that spot grows wisdom and compassion. Without it we'd be robots.

LY, you wise one.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

You're the wise one, Crash! You manage to take all your pain and turn it into pure strength and compassion. That is rarer than you think. You are honestly one of the few people I hold up as an example of what I would like to become.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Thanks again for this post! And, Nutty Hamster, I miss those days when we all hung out in the comment box! Wasn't that fun?!

Donna said...

I talk about my childhood sadness a lot to my children, and I wonder if that is healthy. It's wrong to never hear a mother say I love you, or hug be uncomfortable with your own mother...but my children have a safe place to fall and as my youngest child graduates from high school...and takes my heart with her to college...I am so grateful to feel that pain, because that means I have loved so deeply...something that did not happen to children know they are loved.

robin said...

Man am I going to be gorgeous then! I can't stop crying today. We just had court today and our little foster daughter is going back AGAIN. I couldn't sleep and so I was crying and reading from the Ensign... "it is not the design of heaven that we be rescued from all difficult situations. Rather, it is the Lord's will that we learn to handle them."

nevadanista said...

"You're the wise one, Crash! You manage to take all your pain and turn it into pure strength and compassion. That is rarer than you think. You are honestly one of the few people I hold up as an example of what I would like to become."

Ditto that!

DeNae said...

Gosh, Deb. The post was fantastic. And then the comments removed a few of my wrinkles! The things you all are talking about just serve to remind me that we are NEVER allowed to judge because we ALWAYS get it wrong. And speaking of wrong, I'm afraid I must disagree with John BTW for this very reason. Being human means having 10% icky stuff that those who love us have to wade through to get to the other 90%. It's that "not understanding perfection" false doctrine rearing its ugly head again.

Susan said...

I love John BTW and I have to disagree with DeNAe (sorry, don't spit at me. :-) I think that's not what John meant. You'd have to listen to the talk.

Crash, I don't think I can read your blog anymore. You make me want to watch R rated movies, which I vowed never to do.

Just kidding. I'll be back tomorrow. Great post.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

HUGS to all of you! But especially to Robin. HUGE HUGS Robin. I'm going to go punch someone's light out. Maybe The MAN! Does anyone know where The MAN lives because I want to go toilet paper his house!

LY Robin!

robin said...

If you figure out where the MAN lives I'll bring the toilet paper.