Friday, August 22, 2008

Olympic Fever

Originally posted on August 15th

The kids were out of school today so we slathered on some sunscreen and went to the pool. As soon as I jumped in to join the TWC (Treading Water Club) I sensed something wasn't right. We were in the way. We are never in the way.

Two little girls with bright blue swim caps and mirrored goggles were speeding towards us one butterfly stroke at a time. We darted (well, treaded) away only to run into 4 young boys in speedos relay racing the length of the pool. I had to take off my sunglasses and rub my eyes. Two of those boys were mine! That's when it hit me. My community might be coming down with Olympic Fever. I knew it was going around, and I knew it was contagious, I just never thought it could actually happen to us.

No one is immune. It could happen to you too.

If you experience more than 3 of the following symptons, you too could be suffering from Olympic Fever.

1. You decide to have your last name added to your swim cap.

2. You feel achey and sore when you do a round-off back handspring.

3. You add Stick It to your netflix list.

4. You break out in hot sweats every time someone mentions the name Michael Phelps.

5. You begin leaving voice messages on Mark Waters cell phone, suggesting he cast Nastia Lukin in Mean Girls 2.

6. You find yourself thinking Bella Corola is kinda sexy.

7. You start sneezing and wheezing every time you get off the couch to do housework or cook dinner.

8. You take the remote control with you to the bathroom so your kids won't turn the channel while you're gone.

9. When you notice Costco selling birthday cakes in the shape of a birds nest you think, What a cute idea!

10. You don't laugh when your husband says Mary Lou Retna.

11. You send an email to George Bush asking if he will change the age on your birth certificate.

12. You begin growing your fingernails in case fate comes down to 1/100th of a second.

13. You begin telling yourself If Dara can win a silver medal at 41 years old, I can run a stinkin' mile.

14. You begin telling your children If the Chinese can win gold medals at 10 years old, you can run a stinkin' mile!

15. (This one actually happened fo' real) Your son rolls out of bed in the morning, throws this hands to the ceiling and yells, I stuck the landing!

Please err on the side of caution and contact your physician immediately if you or someone you love are displaying any of these symptons.

Better safe than sorry!

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