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Friday, August 22, 2008

Me Too!

Originally posted on August 17th

Have you ever just been sitting there watching the world go round and round and then suddenly realize that you're dizzy?

Or have you ever been thinking about someone, and right then the phone rings, and you pick it up . . . and it's not them. It's the automated car guy giving you the 30th final warning that your warranty is about to expire.

Or have you ever been making chocolate chip cookies and accidentally add soy sauce instead of vanilla?

Me too!

I know just the thing to make you smile. It worked for me.

Situations Hallmark Cards Don't Cover
http://www.geocities.com/whatawaytoearnaliving/One-liners.html

1. I always wanted To have someone to hold, Someone to love. After meeting you...
(inside card) I changed my mind.

2. I must admit, You brought religion into my life...
(inside card) I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by I think how lucky I am...
(inside card) That you're not here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go...
(inside card) Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry...
(inside card) Someone other than you.

6. Happy birthday! You look great for your age...
(inside card) Almost lifelike!

7. When we were together, You said you'd die for me...
(inside card) Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) What do you say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you...
(inside card) It's almost like you're still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...
(inside card) Did you ever find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend, If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life jacket...
(inside card) I'd miss you terribly. And think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something really special for your birthday...
(inside card) So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and West Virginia)

14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
(inside card) What was I thinking?

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