Friday, August 22, 2008

My Dirty Little Secret

Why is it so hard to keep beautiful things growing, even if you water them. And yet other things grow freakishly fast without any water at all.

This is my dirty little secret. This King Kong cactus. I'm afraid of it. And when I'm afraid of something I close my eyes and turn my back.

So my husband chopped it down for me in June, 2006 so I could sleep at night.

But AHHHH, it's BACK! It's stalking us, I swear! And I'm not just being paranoid.

And look how the stalks have multiplied. (The better to stalk you with, my dear. heh heh heh--evil cactus laugh, in case you couldn't tell.) Check out the base of this thing? Don't tell me it doesn't make you want to scream and run?

This is how it all started.

From this to this!! And that's AFTER it was machetied to death by my big strong husband.

There's a moral here. There's a definite moral here:

Beware what you plant, it just might take root. And while I'm dishing out wisdom . . . beware of what you close your eyes to and turn your back on and machete to death, it just might come back to haunt you.

I'm baaaaaack! heh heh heh . . .

(You have my permission to use this wisdom in your next Sunday school lesson).


Laura said...

I love it! That is too funny- love the new site! Can't wait to learn more secrets...

Lisa (Funny Farmer) said...

Your Dirty Little Secret is... A Cactus?!

I am so disappointed in you.