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Friday, January 7, 2011

Guess What!

I finally thought up a good New Years Resolution. A resolution that screams "PICK ME, CRASH!" 


I'm going to start putting my credit card back into my wallet after I use it. 


And I'm going to stop driving back and forth past Five Buck Pizza just to watch the spazzy sign guy shaking his booty on the street corner. And when I get caught at the light I'm going to stop switching the radio station around to see which song enhances his sign shaking skills best. (So far "Stairway to Heaven" is leading the pack, btw.)  


Guess what! Guess what! Guess what! My daughter got a job! At a flower shop. And now she smells like flowers!  


And guess what else? She got asked on a date. A boy called her on the phone--don't you lub it when boys do that--and he asked her straight up if she wanted to go ice skating. Just like that. No beating around the bush. And when he picked her up, he came to the door, and he shook my hand. 


And guess what else? He had braces. 


How cute is that? 


Dating is so much fun. 


You know what else is fun? Watching The Office two or three times a day. Sometimes four. I've been doing that in place of my exercise routine lately because my MIL says that laughing helps you lose weight.  


Guess what else helps you lose weight. Chocolate-covered celery. Celery is minus two calories--everyone knows that--so dip it in chocolate and VOILA! (That's French for WHALA!) you can have your cake and eat it too. (As long as your cake contains celery.)  


Hold your applause please, I developed that recipe purely by accident. Kinda like how I invented that Tim Tam Spam Slam back in the day. 


You're welcome, world!


 

13 comments:

DeNae said...

Viola? You make me laugh!

Kristina P. said...

My first job was at a fast food place. I smelled like fries. I would take the flowers.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee ha ha ha ha

Did I say Viola? hahahahaha I meant Voila.

My dislexia kicking my booty, again. ha ha

Melissa said...

Love your blog! I'm adding it to my blogroll now!

Melissa

2busy said...

My son is a spazzy sign shaking guy at the five dollar pizza place around the corner. Who, by the way, just got a girlfriend, but doesn't really make enough at said job to take her much places besides our house to watch movies and play Wii. I'm just sayin...

Kazzy said...

There is something very fun about watching our kids date. I love it!

And I love the credit card resolution. Lol

wendy said...

celery and chocolate...THANK YOU...you just dusted Rachel Ray.

dates are fun...but I AM SO GLAD I am not in THAT phase anymore. Braces...good sign. Probably still a little shy....I am thinking a peck on the cheek and NOT the full blown kiss.
good thing braces.

wendy said...

Oh, and one of my first jobs was I worked at a theatre. Where once upon the time ushers took you to your seats...with little flashlights...in little dresses.
I smelled like popcorn.
and TABU ...that was the perfume I wore then

M-Cat said...

I'm trying to wrap my head around chocolate covered celery - I really think you may be on to something.

And really, the fact that a boy CALLED on the phone rather than sent the standard text is a miracle in and of itself!

One Cluttered Brain said...

a florist shop?
That'd be AWESOME.
My first job was at a fast food place too.
Ugh. I always smelled like grease....

~A said...

Fast food places are bad... but I think my smellest job was at a Salad Bar. We cut up fresh fruit all day (not bad), and vegetables, too. I learned quickly that it's nearly impossible to get all that juice out of clothes... after a few weeks, I started to smell like onions and rotting cantalope. Ew.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I wish my son could find a job. Congrats on that, and good news that it is not at a fast food gig.

T said...

celery and chocolate together... two of my least fave things combined... ewww...

but the credit card thing - I should probably get on board with that. Then maybe this year I won't have to call ManOfTheHouse from the store to have him bring me my credit card...

haha, that reminds me of a funny story - that I should probably blog about... thanks for the inspiration :)

oooh, WV says idcap - guess this is where I needed to come for my idea cap after all :)