Thursday, July 21, 2011

Edumacated people.

So yesterday I passed the YW torch, along with the YW mantle, along with all the other junk that goes along with YW, to the new YW Prez.

Then I went to my last YW activity.

Then, as I was walking out the church doors, I suddenly had the most irresistible urge to so something wild and crazy, like clean my laundry room, or write a best-selling novel, or clip my boys fingernails.

Or finishing unpacking from the move.

It was a breathtaking, edge-of-your-seat sensation that I can't even describe. You had to be there. You just had to be there.

Instead I went home and watched Love in the Wild and thought about Holden Caulfield. I'm kinda in love with the kid ever since I read Catcher in the Rye. And now my daughter is reading it and she's kinda in love with the kid too.

(I would like to know if her hoity toity English teacher from Hawaii is in love with the kid also. Mariko, do tell.)

My daughter is a little bit more edumacated than I was at her age.

I mean I was more edumacated in certain areas, like in the art of disrupting Sunday school, and the art of wallpapering my bedroom with Scott Baio, and the art of sucking face. She doesn't know the first thing about any of that stuff. But she's more edumacated when it comes to things like the art of passing the AP calculus test, and the art of getting a 4.0 GPA, and the art of reading classic literature all summer. So far she's hauled through Les Miserables, Jane Eyre and Pride and Prejudice. And now, Catcher in the Rye. Next she's going to read Wuthering Heights.

By raise of hands, who thinks she's going to love it? Who thinks she's going to hate it?

I'm putting money on the hate it side. If she wanted to smack Edward and Bella, she's going to want to Kung Fu Panda kick Healthcliff and Catherine.

Am I right? Or am I right?

My daughter is also more edumacated than me in the art of floral design. But for such a smart girl, she's kinda . . . dumb, if you know what I mean, just sayin', not to be rude.

Sometimes smart people do things a little backwards if you ask me. For instance, last Saturday my daughter did four weddings and a funeral. (I know, right. Her life is like a movie.) And for one of the weddings she makes these centerpieces out of crystal skull heads. And as if that isn't weird enough, she gives the skull heads a mohawk. Fer reals! Out of ROSES!

A roses mohawk!

Fer reals!

Wouldn't a mohawk skullhead be more fitting for the funeral!?

That's edumacated people for ya! Full of irony, every last one of 'em.


Martha said...

I'm guessing the customer asked for this weird skull thingy. I hate skulls. Remember a few years ago everything had a skull on it. They ruined perfectly good shoes by putting skulls on them or something. I don't get the attraction, because skulls are evil.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Martha, I know right. Yes, the customer asked for it. Isn't it the funniest idea! ha ha How's your new job??? I'm loving mine!!!!! Maybe we'll get to come see you guys soon. Have you seen KK's baby yet? I need to send her a baby gift.

Becca said...

Wedding skull. Because you just love each other to death, right? Of course, right. It was the bandwagon just waiting to depart the station.

And Heathcliff and Catherine? No, thank you. There's enough disfunction in real life. Keep your Heights, I'll hang with Liz and Darcy.

Garden of Egan said...

I can't figure out which is more morbid for the skull or funeral.....

I'll let ya know on that one.

She sounds like a total brain babe!

Sandi said...

I am pretty sure she is going to lean toward the kung-fu panda kick Heathcliff and Catherine because she is smart enough to know when someone deserves it!
We have not showed off the baby to Martha yet but we are thinking of taking a walk either today or tomorrow so hopefully we will catch her then.
I wish I had a rose filled skull at my wedding!

Ashley Nash said...

She will HATE Wuthering Heights! Thats my vote :) And who are the weirdies getting skulls for their centerpieces?! and why can't I get some wierdy floral customers like that!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

So we are all in agreement then. Now I just need to know what Mariko says. Waiting with baited breath!

Ashley, ha ha I'm sorry you haven't been able to secure any weirdie customers. Maybe I should publish all your camp photos so the weirdies can come out of the woodwork. lol.

Becca, LOVE it! Love you to death. Till death do us part. You are brilliant, girlfriend.

Ha ha Sandi. Thats what I love about you. You're always game for a rose filled skullhead.

Garden, that was kinda punny--the whole brain babe thing. Get it skullhead . . . brain babe.

It was worth the stretch.

Brittany said...

I'm going to invite myself to this party because I met you for, like 10 seconds, and I'm Melanie's friend and your blog makes me laugh.
I'm voting for your daughter to love Wuthering Heights because I did when I was in high school. But I hated Catcher in the Rye. Sorry.
Also, my sister in law would have loved those skull centerpieces when she got married. They would have gone well with her black wedding cake topped with bride and groom skeletons.

Amanda said...

so the skull was for a wedding, not the funeral? WEIRD

Holden funny! Jane has a great story about Holden Caulfield. When she read Catcher in the Rye he hated Holden Caulfield and thought he was such a nerd. One night, shortly after being married she was reading Catcher in the Rye again and had a startling realization. She said, "Oh no, I'm MARRIED to Holden Caulfield." She realized Ron was the spitting image of Holden :)

Mariko said...

I love Holden. So much that I call him by his first name. I always crack up when kids who are Holden Caulfield don't like him, and they say it's because he's phony, and I say, "That's the point. He's phony to everyone else and real to us. That's why we love him." And I don't ever give them a mirror when they say that. But I want to. It's probably most endearing that Holden doesn't even know what he is, yet.

Have you read Franny and Zoe? I bet you'd love that too.

I vote for hating Wuthering Heights. Yep.

Sandi said...

Mariko speaks.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha! Mariko not only speaks, she speaks profoundly.

Mariko, PHEW! So happy you love Holden too. We can still be friends.

I haven't read Franny and Zoe. I'm on it though.

Amanda, I'm kinda laughing about Jane and Ron. Be careful who you hate, you just might marry 'em. But really, don't we all have a little Holden Caulfield in us?

Except my MIL. She doesn't have any Holden in her.

Brittany, welcome to the partay! Are you Melanie J's friend, or Melanie, my sister's friend. Either way, welcome. I love them both. And I also loved Wuthering Heights. Shhhhhh . . . But then I had angst, so . . .

That is freakin' heelarious about the black cake with skeleton bride and grooms on top. Were they anorexic? ;)

wendy said...

I never have been able to figure out those edumacated folks.

Heathcliff was a buggar (can I say that)