Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Keepin' it reals

Soooooo, how was your 4th of July? Mine was goooood too, thanks. Good and bad. But mostly good. Mostly good because we spent the weekend at The Magic Cabin playing tennis and listening to 8-track tapes.

Holy Cannoli that magic cabin is like tripping on a wrinkle in time. You seriously become get dazed and confused about what era you're in.

It's trippy, man. Super trippy.

And groovy too. Super groovy.

You know what else is trippy? Listening to Jethro Toll on 8-track. Especially when your hub is doing his Irish jig slash air flute.

John Denver is trippy on 8-track too, especially when your son is beat boxing to Grandma's Feather Bed. And your hub is doing his Irish Jig slash air fiddle.

The guy's got skillz, what can I say. In fact he's so skilled . . . how skilled is he? He's so skilled he can flex and point his toes all at the same time.

It's trippy, man. Real, real trippy.

I must confess that my hub's famdamily's 8-track collection is kinda fascinating.

But kinda creepy too. Creepiest 8-track tape award clearly went to My Turn on Earth.

"How did you stay members with music like this?" My daughter asked, as sincerely as humanly possible.

What a silly goose daughter. Simple. We grew up with cassette tapes. Everyone sounds like they've been smoking pakalolo on 8-track tapes, even the Mormon Youth Symphony. And Ernie Ford. And Frank Sinatra. And Peter Frampton.

(But I'm pretty sure Peter Frampton never touched pakalolo when he was making cassette tapes.)

After we listened to the family 8-track collection, we watched VHS movies on the VCR, and the 13 inch TV. Namely The Matrix and Braveheart.

Word: Nudity, Medieval warcraft and Keanu Reeves are much easier to stomach at 13 inches.

Just sayin'

After we watched VHS movies, we played Checkers and Scrabble and more tennis. And we drank picante flavored saimin from a heavy glass measuring cup. And then we got bored.

Except me, because I never get bored, so while everyone else was getting bored I was devising ingenious plans. Plotting really. To overthrow my MIL.

See there are only two things I hate, Spagetti-O's and dried flowers. Oh, and hate crimes. I hate hate crimes. But mostly I hate all the dried flowers in the whole wide world.

But my MIL LOVES them, so here's my secret, underground, evil plot: every summer one dried flower bouquet will mysteriously disappear from The Magic Cabin. Mwuaahahahaha

Starting with this one (2011):

And then this one (2012):

And so on and so on and so on.






Then I will start on the plastic flowers.


And the plastic fruit.



And the plastic cake covers precariously perched atop other plastic cake covers.


And finally the silk tulips in my front window box will mysteriously disappear too, because if there's one thing I refuse to make it's a hypocratic oath. 

That should keep me keepin' it reals for at least ten years, eh?

Ingenious, right?


Garden of Egan said...

Glad you were able to go to the magic cabin. Nearby isn't it?

I can't believe you are so judgy about the dried flowers. I totally understand about the plastic flowers, but I think you should open up your heart about dried.
Just sayin.

Let me know if you need some more 8track tapes to listen to. I can hook you up...and they don't even belong to grandma. They belong to the hubs. He must think that they are gonna be valuable some day.
I think not.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Wow, your Fourth sounds great. I spent mine sweltering with AC until a very angelic repairman saved me from death by heat. Not good not to have it, much better life with AC in Vegas.

CaJoh said...

At least you didn't have a BetaMax player, then I would be a bit worried that you took the trip too far.

Glad to hear you had a great time.

lori said...

I love how the box in front of your plastic veggies says "anything fresher would still be in the field" hehehe

wv: liketru
Like true, when you go on a trippy fourth of July will find your lifes goal for the next ten years.

Annette Lyon said...

Getting rid of the dried arrangements is a beautiful public service.

I think 2017 and 2020 need to be moved up, though. They're blights.

wendy said...

How fun to have a Magic Cabin....everyone needs a "place to go"
and have your childrens complete attention, cause there is NOTHING else they can turn too.
Oh yes, I had 8 Tracks.

and worse then dried flowers, I HATE plastic and silk flowers. I threatened my kids the MUST NEVER put such things on my grave.

Jodi Gallagher said...

Hehehe I loved the tape my turn on earth growing up...I can still probably sing a few of the songs. The world goes round like a merry go round, sometimes your up sometimes your Sad you guys didn't like it!

Martha said...

The magic is in the dried flowers. If you get rid of them, the magic will go away.

DeNae said...

Myyeeee turrrrnnn...
It's myyeeee turrrnnn...
It ends with death, it begins with birth, and it's myyeeee turrrrrnn...
It's myyeee turrrrrnnn...
It's myyee turrnn on earrrth.

Seriously? "It ends with death, it begins with birth?" Forget about remaining church members, my question is, how did we ever dare listen to another soundtrack again??

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee DeNae. Jodi, I listened to that cassette tape a lot as a teen. That and Saturday's Warriors. And my ward and school road shows and programs parodied several of the songs. I loved it. But I'm telling you 8-track is tweaked out.

Martha, NOOOOOOO! Maybe the pixie dust is in the dried flowers, with an emphasis on the DUST, but the magic can't be in the dried flowers.

Hey Martha, your boy is having a party in Provo. I saw him with all his friends at our Fireworks party on Sat. And then Tatum and Josie went to play tennis yesterday at Provo High and guess who was there? Joshie. And then he went to PPT again yesterday with Bryson. But just wait until the cold settles in. He'll come running back into your arms. ;)

Cajoh, I've never heard of a BetaMax player. Am I too old or young?

Lori, I wish my verifier had said livetru. But I guess you have to like truth before you can live truth. ;)

Amen Wendy! And Garden, dried flowers are so yesterday. (ha ha) If you saw them with the bedroom bedspread and curtains you wouldn't be scolding me. Seriously, you have to wear a mask to bed. And sleep with an inhaler.

Becca said...

Um, is the 2017 arrangement resting in a foil lasagna pan?

Can you reuse that thing later? In 2018? Maybe for a pan of lasagna?

Mariko said...

Only problem with one a year is that they will probably multiply faster than that. I suggest stage a burglary, and pretend that the thief took off with them all.