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Monday, June 28, 2010

The Swan and the Toad

I'm all verklempt-like this morning because I'm sitting outside listening to my neighbor mowing his lawn. I'm also listening to the doves coo and my dog chew and my playlist woo. Right now it's playing For Good from Wicked, which is so appropriate, since Swirl (remember Swirl?) was here (on my blog) and so was Iwa (remember Iwa?). Iwa told me that she went to a party with my favorite student, Wolfgang (remember Wolfgang?) where they ate Japanese rice crackers without me.


HOW RUDE!


Sometimes I miss my Hawaii peeps something fierce.


You guys know I used to live in Hawaii, right?


Do you remember my know-it-all 12-year-old son who used to live in Hawaii too? And who turned into a sassy-pants 13-year-old? Well today he turns into an eye-ball-rolling 14-year-old.


That's right, fourteen years ago today I was in the Bethpage hospital in New York watching Oprah and crying for the anesthesiologist. A week later we were packing up our little Nantucket apartment and driving across the country with two teensy kids, a bag of sunflower seeds and a raging bladder infection.


Was that TMI?


On that trip across the country I could hardly keep my eyes open, probably because nursing moms cannot live by sunflower seeds alone. I spanked my daughter for the first time and I thought mean thoughts about my hub for the second time. Or maybe it was the third time, I can't be sure. Alls I wanted was a hot bath and a clean bed to rest my weary postpartum soul. Was a hotel room every night or two too much to ask?


We were in between grad school and our first real job so we shacked up in the magic cabin for a few months during the interim, where I thought my fourth mean thoughts about my hub for letting his mother drop by every morning at 7 a.m. and call through the screen door, "YOOHOO! Do you want to go hike Stewart Falls? huh? huh? huh? Do you want to go play tennis? Do you want to go to Chuck-A-Rama? huh? huh? huh?"


"Do you want me to go all Kung Fu Panda on you?" I would call back, as I dragged myself out of bed and strapped on the freakin' baby carrier and filled my head with mean thoughts.


I was full of mean thoughts fourteen years ago. But then we moved to Hawaii and I took control of my life and I was healed.


Hallelujah!


And Amen!


So we started celebrating my son's birthday yesterday. My boys all slept on the trampoline, until the sprinklers came on at 5 a.m. We didn't tell them to, but them darn sprinklers do whatsoever they please, whensoever they please. They must be teenager sprinklers. So then my boys crashed on the living room couches, until I had to go to my early morning church meetings and I accidentally turned on the car alarm for car #1. And then while fumbling through my purse to find the keys to stop the insanity I accidentally turned on the car alarm for car #2.


So yeah, both car alarms were breaking the sabbath simultaneously.


Then we went to a mission farewell and guess who happened to be there ROCKIN' the piano for the instant ward choir? BARBALOOT! (Remember Barbaloot?) She ROCKS THE PIANO SO HARD! Did you guys know that about her?


Me neither!


I was this close to jumping out of my seat and joining the instant ward choir so I could Rock out to her piano.


So my Chinese commenter struck again and I got all curious George and plugged the comment into an ancient Chinese secret translator and this is the message: “in an organization's fool, is bigger than permanently is equal to 2/3.”


Hmmmmmm . . .


Iwa translated the last comment on my Jack Johnson moral to the story and it was something about a swan marrying a toad and giving birth to an ugly duckling.


Hmmmmmm . . .


Does anyone else find that oddly coincidental, being as it's my son's birthday an all? Do you think the swan ever had mean thoughts about the toad?


hee hee hee


Okay, I promised to tell you about the books I read at Lagoon so let's get to it before I am forced at gunpoint to throw one more partay!


First I finished reading Braden Bell's book The Road Show. It's definitely a Mormon book, but you know what? I enjoyed it anyways. It represented. The cool thing about it is that it is so straight forward about the most important topic in the world: The healing power of the atonement. I personally believe it is the most valuable message we can share and I often try to share it in subtle ways, but I'm way way way vague. I skitter around the topic with inferences but Braden Bell comes right out with it and nails it square on. I respect that!


I also read Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen. I favor narrative non-fiction and memoirs and this one is a charmer. I lubbed it, but it will take me a whole nother to post to tell you why, so stay tuned.


I also started Legend of a Suicide by David Vann. It's very poetic and lovely and well written. He's a major award winning writer, but my literary ADD kicked in and I switched to Hunger Games after 43 pages.


But after I finished the first page my daughter's friend said "STOP READING NOW! Don't pick up Hunger Games unless you have time to read the whole book at once. I stayed up until 2 a.m. last night to finish it."


I'm just not in that place in my life right now so I took her advice and STOPPED.


But I pinky promise I will get back to it very soon. In fact I think we're going to Lagoon again on Thursday.



18 comments:

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

ha

Garden of Egan said...

I read Braden' book too. And I lubbed it too. Does that mean we're twins? I've never had twins so I am not sure.
I read the Hunger books. I didn't hunger for more I tell ya. Call me a hillbilly. I hated them.

Wow you almost started rockin' out on Barbaloot's piano? Sure way to get a release if you're catchin' my drift. That sometimes happens.

Well, enjoy your day at the Lagoon and enjoy the sassy boys birthday. Pretty soon he'll stop doing the double-eye rollovers and think you're cool again.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Whew, that was a close one. Good thing I ha'd before I read or I wouldn't have gotten the points for being first. skin of my teeth if you know what I mean. Now I can sleep tonight.

This post made me hee hee hee and ha ha ha ha a lot. I am so glad you are back and I am so glad you are not driving cross country with a bladder infection. Do you feel like Elder Holland when you wish you could go back and talk you your self 14 years ago and tell your self not to think so many mean thoughts because fourteen year later you would be sitting at Lagoon reading and all would be right in the world? hmmmmmm? do ya?

Do you feel like I should take some breaths in the middle of my sentances or may be make better use of the the return button? probly, but I kind of like to run off at the mouth, or keys as the case may be.

I read a mystery novel by Anne Perry who I like to read very much. It has been so long since I have had time to read. It was a nice change of pace.

I don't know why I haven't read Braden's book yet. I do definitely want to very much. Hopefully soon.

Andrea said...

Happy Birthday 14 Boy! Teenagers, scary. I mean you have experience already and all but still, scary...

You never give tmi! Unless you do.

I remember your Kung Fu Attitude! I still get a kick when I think about taking my pic in front of the Panda for you. Good times!

The only things I've read lately are non-fiction improve your writing stuff. Soon to be followed by TextBooks. Bleh.

Connie said...

IK'm learning lots of things about you and Barbaloot! You read books at Lagoon? Why did I never learn to do that? My hubs will read a book or sleep in the shade but me...I'm riding every ride there! I've got to get my priorities straight!
I can't imagine packing up little ones and driving cross country with a bladder infection, no less! You've earned my respect!

T said...

Holy heck woman - too much going on... how's a girl supposed to leave a nice concise comment???

I loved Hunger Games - and the sequel... I've already ordered the third (oh wait, I don't think that shocks anyone being the book hound I am)

I lived in a cabin close enough to hike to Stewart Falls once, but that was actually 17 years ago - so we wouldn't have run into each other if you'd just given in to the daily 7 a.m. MIL promptings.

and the rest... I'm going to have to read your post again if I want to comment on everything!!!

Barbaloot said...

I'm pretty sure you should have come up with the instant choir. It would've be fantastic---and Brody would've loved it:) Which, by the way, I adore that kid! If only he were 7 years old. Or I guess, if only I were 7 years younger:)

I went to Deseret Book today and guess what wasn't there---the Roadshow? I was fully gonna buy it, now I'll have to go elsewhere.

And Hunger Games. I can't begin to explain how I feel about that book, but basically I read it and the sequel. Twice in two weeks. They're nuts.

Martha said...

Happy Birthday to my favorite Zachy. I already wished him that on facebook.

I wish that someday I could read a book. The toilets and cupboards are going in today. We are packing and move on Saturday.

I told the kids to just pick a couple of books and the rest are going at the garage sale. They said they don't want ANY. I said, just pick 5 and pretend that someday you might read them. How did I have 6 kids and not one of them cares about reading?

I told the kids after we move then we will start our summer vacay.

Martha said...

Iwa, next time you go to the park stop by and say hello.

Barbaloot said...

PS-I definitely meant 7 years oldER. Yikes.

val of the south said...

Barbaloot - you kinda scared me with the 7 years old thing...glad you clarified!!!

Crash, are you having another Stake Day at Lagoon? Maybe you should drop your kids at Lagoon and come play...I'm only like 5 minutes away...seriously!!

Annette Lyon said...

I swear, those Sabbath-breaking car alarms . . .

In coincidental news, I finished Hunger Games today. I was also sick. Part of my wonders if my body purposely gave itself a fever so I'd have an excuse to do nothing but read so I could finish it.

Sandi said...

I am exhausted from following you all over this post! sheesh woman you need to take a breather!
I don't know why, but it really kind of makes me happy to know you have an eye-roller, I have lived through 4 of them and it is just not that much fun to tell you the truth ha ha. but they do eventually grow out of it and then you can like them again-but it's a long and painful process so gird up your loins girlfriend.
I loved the Hunger Games....not my kind of book at all, but I loved it all the same. Weird that I never really had the urge to read the 2nd one though.
Fun to hear about Swirl and Iwa and Wolfgang again...just like in the good old days :)

Braden said...

Thank you, Crash. I'm so glad you liked my book. It is karma that you finished it there because guess what? I'm from Farmington! I practically grew up at Lagoon! And I'm glad your life got a little bit better after the rocky start you described! I need to get to know Barbaloot for sure!

Braden said...

P.S. I meant to say that this is a very thematically deep post. GOod job, English Teacher! Also, the Hunger Games were very powerful. I haven't quite figured out all I thought after reading them, except that they were incredibly powerful!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Talk about too much to say. You guys have got me all exhausted in the comment box.

First, Garden, you are the only hillbilly I know who doesn't lub Hunger Games. I better get to reading it so I can know which side of the hillbilly fence I'm on. (But whether I lub it or not, YES, we are twin souls fer sure.)

Braden, much mahalo for thinking I'm thematically deep rather than a scatterbrain. hee hee

Sandi, I KNOW, the good old dayz were so darn . . . good. And old. SIGH.

Oh Annette, that is coincidental indeed. Soooooo, what did you think? Do tell!

Val, no we are not having another stake Lagoon day. We were going to use our bounce back passes, but now it seems my son has magically been signed up for another basketball tourney. SIGH.

Martha, I can't believe you are moving on Saturday!!!!! OMGOSH! Are you ready? A year ago did you think your life would change so drastically in such a short time? Isn't it weird to think we just went along same ole' same ole' for almost 10 years as next door neighbors? I'm getting verklempt just thinking of you guys moving out of the townhouses. Good luck, girl. It's bringing back all the memories of me being dragged out of 10A bawling my brains out. Remember that? You were like "we'll see each other again," and I was like "BUT THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Oh, I was such a cry baby.

Btw Martha, that cracks me up that the kids didn't want to bring any of their books.

Barb, I really wish I just jumped out of my seat and joined the instant choir. My daughter was going to come with me too.

T, our destiny was off by three years. ;) That's not too bad if you think about it.

Andrea, I totally remember when you got your photo taken with the Kung Fu Panda. ha ha ha That was awesome.

Pat, you will lub Braden's book. And yes, I do feel exactly like Elder Holland's talk. He was so right on!

Verifier says samelli

What in the sam elli does that mean?

IWA (e - va) said...

Please know that you are missed often... I'm back in 7th ward and nothing has changed one bit. Its funny because last week i sat in RS and the usuals sat in the back gossiping & eating snacks, sister macy sat in the middle and her contagious laugh had me rolling the whole lesson, and then the lesson went over 5 minutes and Sis E. sat at the piano playing and insisting that we sing a closing song, i started laughing and looked around for who was missing and you were first on the list, not even thinking that you moved away! haha!

Never read hunger games, ive heard good things but really dont like the story line! but i'm excited to read bradens book!

Happy bday to Z! So whats after eyeball rolling? because my 11 year has already mastered it and im pretty scared to think about whats next?

So does lagoon still have all those signs up and announcements up about being sick and staying out of the water? haha.. that would make me want to sit out and read!

Were still here, we move in a month, but ive really been having second thoughts... of course i have all sorts of excuses but the one im using on my husband this week is the temple reopens in october and they're having open house and i want the kids to be able to walk through! but no luck yet!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH IWA, you just made me so darn homesick. Please give Esther, and her contagious laugh a huge aloha hug for me. And sister Ernestberg too (does she still stand up first to tell her good news minute?) and all those gossipers in the back row too. Give Vernetta a big hug too, and tell her that life is cyclical. She will understand.

The temple re-opens in October. Maybe my hub and I should try to come! That makes my eyes sweat just thinking about it.