It's April 1st! Which means today I started my Dummy Boot Camp! At 5:30 a.m! Which means I had to take a 10 minute power nap between 3:20 and 3:30 p.m! (Thank you, Martha, for being such a good example to me of napping.)
But now look at me, still awake at almost midnight--two hours past my boot camp bedtime. ARGH! I just can't seem to squeeze everything in, no matter how many ways I push and shove it.
But I accomplished A TON so I'm satisfied. With day 1.
The whole Dummy Boot Camp is a mind/body/stone-cold soul dealio. Originally developed as a way to be more consistent and more productive, and to help me get past this big wall in front of me so I can get to the next IQ level. I mean, I'm dumb, but I could be a lot dumber. I could be more consistency dumb. So I created this thirty day routine that will help me get FOCUSED! Get TOUGH! And get DUMB!
It's kind of a yawner, but basically it's just thirty dayz of twenty four seven. Not 24/7, but twenty, four, seven.
To crack my stone-cold soul: Twenty minutes of yoga, meditation and visualizion crapola, four minutes of conversations with the Universe (on my knees), and seven minutes of reading about the Universe from an important book.
You get me?
Today I actually went thirty, six, nine, but who's counting?
To shape up my rock hard body: Twenty minutes of sweating profusely, or at least semi-profusely, four important vitamins and minerals, and seven glasses of water. (Did you know water goes in and then comes right back out? Which is why I only drank five glasses today.)
To enliven my mind: Within the thirty dayz I want to finish twenty tasks I've been needing to accomplish (today I completed some web content I was hired to write), attend the temple four times, and read seven great books.
The whole routine was created by moi, for moi, and inspired by moi's overwhelming desire to finally reach moi's cotton pickin' potential. (You guys speak French, right?)
Just once I'd like to hear my hub say "I LUB YOU because you ROCK MY SOCKS!" rather than, "I lub you because I know you could rock my socks if you tried really really hard."
Okay, that's not true, darnit. I am so over my hub issues. How boring am I? Abandonment issues, commitment issues, inferiority complex issues, flinging-his-ex-girlfriend-around-by-her-ponytail issues, all gone. Kapeesh! (Did I ever tell you I once shot her with a squirt gun at a church dance when I caught her and my hub slow dancing? Muahahaha! Toldya I had issues.)
Now my issues are a little smaller, but I still need some help. Extraterrestrial help. Remind me to tell you all about the extraterrestrial help I asked for and received over the past few weeks while I was training for boot camp. But right at this moment I GOTSTA shut my eyes before they burst into flames.