Wish you were here!

It's the most wonderful time of the year. That time of the year when we pack up and drive to Island Park, Ideeho for a whole week at the lake. With the In-laws.

All the in-laws.

I'm not saying that tongue-in-cheek either. Even with all my in-laws it's my favorite week of the year. Nothing can bother me at Island Park. Except my in-laws. And even they can't really bother me.

Does that make sense?

I got to drive here with my daughter. Just the two of us. At first we tried to listen to Wuthering Heights, but books on tape always give my daughter a royal headache. Especially books on tape written with an English accent, using all the GRE vocabulary I downloaded onto her iPod whilst I was studying.

During chapter two my daughter started telling me all of her flower shop stories and we got to giggling something fierce. Flower shop customers make the funniest stories. Also Personal Progress stories. Actually any stories told by daughter, in order to avoid listening to Wuthering Heights, are the funniest stories.

Except for my MIL's stories. Her stories are right up there with my daughter's stories. She is one of a kind, I tell ya. A real original. When Gad made her, he broke the mold. There isn't an actress alive who could portray her accurately when they make a movie about my life. I just hope she doesn't kick the bucket before they can cast her in the role.

So while my daughter was telling me all of her stories, I forgot to turn on I-20 towards Rexburg. Actually I didn't even know I was supposed to turn on I-20. I thought you just stayed on I-15 forever. I thought I-15 was like the Iron Rod.

I also thought the sign that said 15 miles to Roberts said 15 miles to Rexburg.

My daughter has eagle eyes, however, so she disagreed vehemently.

"Listen, girlfriend!" I told her, "If I've been on the road to Rexburg once, I've been on it a hundred thousand times! I know the road to Rexburg when I see it."

I wasn't just saying that either, as an adult who likes to exercise power and authority over her children, I went to school in Rexberg for a year. My best friend lived in Shelley. I've been around the block a time or two and I know without a shadow of a doubt there is no town in Ideeho called Roberts.

At yet there is. A town in Ideeho. Called Roberts. 632 people live there. And they are the nicest people you'll ever meet. Especially when you need directions to Rexburg.

But before we got directions, and after we realized we were on the wrong road, we got on The Truman Show for a few minutes. About 15 minutes actually. So I guess you can say we've had our 15 minutes of fame.

See the speed limit on the wrong road is 45 mph. And you know how you always have to go to the bathroom while traveling on the wrong road? Well, the producers of the Truman Show thought it would be funny to cue the slow car with the Fisher Price people in it to turn in front of us for about 10 miles.

They didn't break the speed limit once. NOT ONCE! Fisher Price people don't do things like that. They do what the producers tell them to do. Drive their little Fisher Price car the speed limit, without moving a muscle. Seriously. Even when you're right on their butt, peer pressuring them to pick up the pace so you can pee, Fisher Price people don't fold. They just stare straight ahead. All three of them--the mom, the dad, and little johnny, perfectly centered in the back seat.

By the time we got to Roberts to ask directions to Rexburg we'd already pee'd our pants from LOLing so hard. (Figuratively speaking, of course.)

I bet the audience at home had a good laugh on our account.

When we finally got back on the right road, it was dusk and the sunset was in full bloom and the silhouettes in Ideeho are to die for when the sunset is in full bloom! All the jutting pines and the silos and the amber waves of grain! The only thing busy at dusk in Ideeho are the cows eating the amber waves of grain.

It's such a breath of fresh air, driving through Ideeho. A deep breath of fresh air.

There's a moral here. There's a definite moral here. Sometimes getting lost or delayed ain't such a bad thing. As long as you eventually get to where you're going.

Especially if where you're going is the same place all of your in-laws are going.

Amen.

And there you have it, peeps, the most exciting part of the most wonderful time of year. Immediately upon arrival at Island Park it turned into a real snooze fest. Literally. We don't do anything here but sleep. And eat. And forget to pick up after ourselves.

Wish you were here!

Wish you were all here.