Thursday, March 10, 2011

Basic Psychology 101

Today I got on-line and signed my twins up for baseball. The fee was $90 each. For those of you who are computationally challenged, that's a grand total of $180.

Unless you don't sign up to be a parent volunteer. If you don't sign up to be a parent volunteer, the grand total is $220.

They don't tell you this until you're finishing up all the paper work and trying to pay. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a little after-thought box pops up and says, oh, and by the way, please check here if you want to be a parent volunteer this season.

My first thought was Why would I want to be a parent volunteer? Isn't that why I'm paying you 90 bucks? So I don't have to volunteer another hour of my day in the service of my child?

But then I read the NOTE:

NOTE: If you do NOT want to be a parent volunteer, you will be talked about behind your back for not serving God, your country, and your fellow man. Plus there will be $20 added to your fees.


What I meant was, of course I want to be a parent volunteer! Isn't that why I had children in the first place? So I could spend every hour of the day serving them in whatever capacity they so choose to pursue?

But wait, they're coercing me, ain't they? And falsely advertising their fees! And isn't it kinda like taking away the free agency of the poor and downtrodden who are busy working their fingers to the bone to pay the $90 fee in the first place so little Johnny can play some stinkin' baseball?

Now the poor and downtrodden will also be exhausted and downtrodden because they will be in charge of the team uniforms committee meetings, in between ward welfare meetings and board meetings and traffic court meetings. And little Suzy's soccer tournament meetings. And little Bobby's basketball fundraiser meetings.

Plus little Suzy needs a prom dress meeting because EEEEEEEEeeeeee she got asked to prom today!!! By a cute boy!!! Who's on the honor roll!!! And the soccer team!!! (Thank you, Facebook!!! My apologies for ever calling you creepy.)

But anyways, if I were in the coercion biz, I would advertise the fees at $110 each. Then I would say Psst, anyone want a discount? I'll give you $20 off if you help out this year. How does that sound, huh? huh? huh? That way the poor and downtrodden will think they're saving a buck and they'll volunteer with a grateful smile.

Not rocket science, eh peeps?

P.S. Did I tell you I'm a PROM MOM!? Wooooohooooo!


IWA (e - va) said...

Yay... for both T and all of those boys you will get to coach.

While you are busy being down-trodden, please teach those utards how to make a "real snack".....

Please post pics of the progression of snacks.... and of course the prom dress! ( i can see you grinning from ear to ear about the possibility of taking T dress shopping!)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Iwa, there are no snacks in baseball. Or soccer. Or basketball. Or tennis. There is no food served after games. Or handed out. I have not made a cooler full of snacks in 18 months. Everyone fends for themselves. And no one shares. Not even the one poly on the team shares. But then he was raised a Utard.

Even after the state championship, NO FOOD. I don't think anyone eats around here. Tatum went to Sadies and they made pizza and she mostly ate it alone. Not even the boys ate. And then they went bowling and to McDonalds and a few people ordered water.

That's Utarded.

I had almost forgotten about the "real snacks." Maybe because we don't even do fake snacks. Helk, had almost forgotten about food altogether.

Why am I suddenly starving!??

Yes, I can't wait for PROM! Wooohooo! I'll def show pics. Hopefully her date likes to eat. :)

Garden of Egan said...

It sounds like a total deal.
You should sign up to be a volunteer.
You wouldn't wanna be a loser parent would ya?
(Is the guilt button kicked on yet?)

Are you going to sew the prom dress? You should ya know, so it can be all modest-and-I'm-setting-a-good-example-dress.

Man, I better be careful or I'm gonna get kicked off your blog.

Barbaloot said...

The real lesson to learn in all this is that baseball is completely over-rated.

Prom is not. Hooray from Prom! :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Barb, you are so right! What's more American than prom, anyway?

hee hee

Garden, you ARE going to get the boot from my blog if you don't watch it, girlie! No ways, no how am I going to sew my daughter's prom dress.

Although I did that with my own prom dress and HA, what a disaster. I should show some photos.

Andrea said...

Oh yes, we've hit the oh my helk how much is baseball?? I wanted to cry. $90 then add money for a uniform and shoes and a glove and then they need to practice at the batting cages. Not to mention all the time I'll spend driving to and from three days a week and the fast food we'll end up gobbling and gas costs $3.59 a gallon and...and...and...

It's draining. But if they said I'd get $20 off for volunteering! Woohoo.

I mean I still wouldn't sign up but yeah, the discount for those who do would be cool.

(I've missed ya lady! But I'm sorta back. Come find me over here: )

Martha said...

I signed Tom up for baseball. He's really excited because PAL bball ends tomorrow. It's $35. I'm sure all they will get is a colored t-shirt though. I'm thinking he can just walk out the door and go to practice and games by himself and we can watch from the yeard. But, I will have to be preparing snacks for the whole team at least once.

Yeah about prom. Joshy is going with Kiana Wilson. She's like the cutest ever. Don't tell but his friends did all the work to ask her. He's gotta foot the bill for the whole thing. So he is going low budget. He hates spending money anyway. They are doubling with Josh Sorensen and Kira HoChing.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Martha, Martha, Martha! I can't believe you didnt' write anything about the tsunami!!!!!! I've been waiting on the edge of my seat.

So glad you're okay. I bet it was a partay. ha ha Been there, done that. Remember the peanut butter buffets we used to have when the power would go out. ha ha

So cool about Joshy. Kiana is the cutest thing ever. Zach's says they've always kinda had a crush on each other. How sweet.

So lucky you can send Tommy out the door and watch from the yard. ha ha

I miss watching him grow up. Just imagine how Lulu and Falcor would get along!

Andrea! You went Awesome. I'm going to do that soon. I've been out of the loop too. Gotsta get back into the swing. Missed ya!

Leslie said...'re completely right...I hate those hidden fees...especially when you have more than one child signing up and you're forking out big money....the things we do for our kids.

Kazzy said...

So if you volunteer to chaperone at the prom do you get a discount on the dress?

T said...

our baseball (you know, back before I hated it) league just says "sign up your kids, we will assign you a day to work your fingers to burned little nubs in the snack shack charging $4 a burger and if you can't make it that day - please kindly toss yourself off the nearest cliff before trying to sign up next year."