I can't post the stuff I've been writing about my dummy boot camp because I'm in jail right now. I broke the law, peeps.
And I didn't even know it.
It all started when I ordered this cake for our tri-ward youth activity tonight on flag etiquette:
Our special guest speaker just so happened to know the flag laws inside and out like the back of his hand.
Did you know that it's against the law to recreate any image of the flag that will eventually get discarded, tossed out, thrown away, or chucked? Flags silk screened onto swim suits. Against the law. Flags on grocery store bags. Against the law. Flags in magazines? AGAINST. THE. LAW.
"Can you wear an Old Navy t-shirt with a flag on it?" asked one teenager.
The flag expert shook his head.
"Can you make little flags out of toothpicks?" asked another teenager.
The flag expert shook his head again.
That's when I raised my hand. "Can you . . . eat a flag?" I asked.
Apparently you can't eat a flag either. And since I commissioned someone to create a flag for the sole purpose of consumption, I am an accomplice to a very serious crime.
I tried to make it right by peeling the flag off the cake and tossing into the bonfire with all the other, less edible, flags we were retiring.
But now I'm in jail.
(Fingers crossed I'll be in here for at least 30 days because just think of how much peace and quiet I would have to focus on Dummy Boot Camp!)