Pages

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My hub is such a silly goose!

I had to ban him from Matchmaker.com.

No worries, it's not THEE Matchmaker.com, it's his own little dating system thingie.


FOR SOCKS!


Such a softie. The thought of a sock sitting home alone on a Saturday night just kills him, so he's taken it upon himself to match up every lonely sock within a 2,400 square foot radius.

He just doesn't get that you can't hurry love. Even for socks. Patience truly is a virtue when you're waiting for your sole mate.

Any interference whatsoever throws off the balance and harmony of footwear foreordination.

(Plus it makes our kids look goofy.)


I have to hand it to him though, he's tolerant. And accepting. He accepts everyone and everything just as they are. He wouldn't hurt a fly. And he wouldn't try to change that fly either. It was hard enough for him to change diapers because he didn't want to make the diapers feel bad about themselves.

He's the same with light bulbs. Heaven forbid we hurt a light bulb's feelings just because it doesn't shine anymore. "Just leave it be," he says. "I don't want it to know we want to change it just because it isn't meeting our needs anymore."

At least he finally changed the recording on his office answering machine. Usually when I call his office, a reassuring voice asks me to leave a message for "Dr. Dunaway." Today, however, my hub's voice startled me by asking me to leave a message for . . . HIM.

It's Dr. Dunaway's fault that we're here in Utah, btw. He decided to retire. And then BYU decided to rehire.

Every day for the past 6 months Dr. Dunaway has been assuring me that he just stepped out of the office. And I believed him. I was convinced he would be back shortly, as promised, and that we weren't even in Utah at all.


But we really are here, aren't we?





Or maybe we're not.

After all, my silly goose hub still hasn't changed the car clocks or the computer clocks from Hawaiian time.

12 comments:

The Garden of Egan said...

Nope you are really still in Hawaii, don't let all the Cutards, snow and happiness fool ya!
Except for the "periodic" craziness that you may experience...it's just like Hawaii, so it must be Hawaii. Can't you hear the ocean?

OldBoatGuy said...

I hate mating sox! For years I have been going to throw away ALL my socks and buy 50 pair of the SAME color and design!

But I can't throw anything away.

Use it up, wear it out, make it do or go without.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

hahaha!!!

Sandi said...

Well as long as the clocks still are on Hawaii time there is hope. Darn that Dr. Dunaway anyway..haha that rhymed!
OK this is weird. I dreamed last night of Low. Yep that Low, who I don't know (I'm a rhyming maniac today) She was trying to be nice and donate this beautiful piece of beach front property, which didn't look familiar but I can only assume it was in Hawaii. She was being all charitable and such as, and I was doing my darndest to convince her to keep it for the better good. meaning me. Cause thats how I roll.
anyway, do you think that means I am spending too much time reading blogs and am starting to think I actually know you people?? haha

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Haha Garden, you do know how to play along. Lub that about you.

Oh, Old Boat Guy, you're a silly goose too. I throw those darn socks out all the time. But my MIL darns her darn socks. She has a GIGANTIC bucket of old unmatched socks and she doesn't even have any kids at home. I should take a photo of it.

For the sake of entertainment.

Sandi, you do know us. It's NOT a dream. You really are here too.

And LoW is such a gem. If I played favorites she would be on of them.

Someday we will all play Thelma and Louise together.

Martha said...

You must be there because if you were here, the kids wouldn't need socks. They'd either be barefoot or wearing slippahs. Darn that Dr. Dunaway. I'm still mad at him and I don't even know him.

Are you changing light bulbs again? I hope not in the ones over the kitchen table because you changed them when I was there just two months ago.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oooh, good point about the socks, Martha. No wonder I didn't have this problem in Hawaii.

YES, that light bulb needs to be changed again. And it's one of those long lasting energy saving light bulbs that's s'pose to last until the millennium. I guess our lights have to work harder to help us see.

BTW, Didn't I have to change it last time too? My super sensitive hub makes me do all the dirty work. ;)

Braden Bell said...

He sounds like a gentle soul who definitely belongs in academia!

Amber Lynae said...

"And it's one of those long lasting energy saving light bulbs that's s'pose to last until the millennium."

Is the universe giving you the second coming heads up?

Paily said...

I match my socks by thickness. Not by looks. Then you always have enough :) (And if you wear a Christmas sock and a Valentine's sock in October, it's really halloween. Cause Christmas is the 12th month, and Valentine's is the 2nd, and 12-2=10 or October. Se it totally works.)

CaJoh said...

This reminds me of when my wife and I moved into our new place together. We still both had our old places and hadn't quite yet moved, so the place was empty. We decided that we would take all of my wife's socks and lay them out in the living room floor and try and match them up. Believe it or not that was about 12 years ago and my wife finally threw out the bag of mismatched socks this past month.

The Framptons said...

LOL! I love this post. I don't think you should ever change the clocks in your cars. I love that they are still on HI time, I also love that the abbreviation for Hawaii is HI.