Monday, February 22, 2010

We got our first mission call!

We are officially trekkies!

Well my hub is officially a trekkie--I am officially a pioneer woman. You heard me right. I'm a PIONEER WOMAN! That's got to be good luck for an aspiring cooking blogger like me, huh?

My hub and I have been chosen to represent the Sponge Bob ward as a ma and a pa on trek this summer. Can you believe it? I'm gonna be a ma!

Trek is just a crazy little thing we do here in Utah where everyone gets to dress up like Little House on the Prairie and "boldly go where no man has gone before." (Get it?) And all because we are "The Next Generation." (Get it? Get it?)

I'm not sure exactly what all goes on during trek, but I think it has something to do with pulling handcarts across Whyoming until we hook up with the Starship Enterprise for our first ma and pa mission.

So excited!

Except I have to wear bloomers.

I told the committee I'm more of a hip-hugger kinda girl.

"Those bloomers won't really go with my low-rise jeans," I said. "Can I alter the pattern just a titch?"

There was a collective church-lady pause before the stake trekkie leader said, "Well, isn't that special . . . NO! "

As it turns out we can't wear jeans either, due to the high probability of chafing as we walk and walk and walk.

AND walk.

My hub gets to wear a sexy cowboy hat, but I have to wear a bonnet.

Not only do I have to wear a bonnet, I also have to SEW the bonnet in which I have to wear.


"You're not serious!" I said.

But they were serious.

DEAD-pan serious!

"Oooh, oooh, oooh," I said, raising my hand in the air like I just didn't care. "Can I make mine out of aloha print instead of plaid? Please, please, pretty please! Can I, huh? huh? huh?"

And then I told them about how the Hawaiian people love Star Trek almost as much as they love Magnum P.I.

And then the ma sitting next to me accidentally poked me in the eye.

In the end I got my way. Maybe because our ward Trekkie leader is a Hawaiian named Scottie.

(At least that's what we call him when we say "beam me up!")

Only problem now is, I don't know how to sew.

Iwa? Martha? Anjeny? Swirl? I know you all love to sew. Can you whip me up an aloha bonnet? And maybe a pair of aloha bloomers?--(semi-low-rise, please) (I don't want to feel to frumpy if I run into Captain Kirk.) (Please, Gad, let it be the Chris Pine Captain Kirk and not the William Shatner Captain Kirk.)

Mahalo Nui Loa in advance, girlz!


Migillicutty said...

FIRST!!!!! And those Star Trek jokes made me Laugh Out Loud! :)

The Garden of Egan said...

You are gonna love your mission call. The walking and walking and's awesome!

Jillybean said...

Would you like me to bedazzle your aloha bonnet?

IWA (e - va) said...


So i totally went on one when i was up there... i got to be a pioneer mom and on my trek i actually found out that one of my girls was pregnant! she actually finished the trek with us and then we kicked her out of YW and made her go to RS.. we were mean like that!

We slept in tents and wiped ourselves down with baby wipes (the no smell kine!) and i treked with a costco size bottle of Purell! I pretty much bathed in the stuff and i smelled of it for days! (i hate the smell now)

While we walked.. we sang... and sang.. and sang.. and we cheated because my pregnant yw also brought her ipod and so we sang worldly songs while we walked!

we wore jeans under neath!... im totally not the type to go commando or what ever you call it... when your trekking in a dress with no jeans underneath.

We also had to dress like polygamist... we braided our hair and everything.. we even had a commpetition to see who could get their bangs the highest... it was soo fun! i hated the bonnet but it saved me while walking.. and walking .. and walking........ in the sun!!

Have fun... Im gonna go look to see if i still have my patterns for a bonnet... and an apron... and a dress!

nevadanista said...

Please take your own personal cooler full of Code Red MD too! That would make me so happy. I hear they love to accomodate those types of things on those treks.

April said...

I'd rather watch Star Trek than go on a Trek...bleh! I hate being hot! Was that my out loud voice? Sorry my turrets must be acting up.

Mary said...

Ha! Well, the good news is that you can usually find all shapes and sizes of the necessary clothing at DI because of the mas and pas that have done this before. Maybe you won't have to sew anything!

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Well, FUUUUUN!!!

Lucky you!

I've never trecked!

I mean, Gary and I have trecked across the country in an old beat up car, but somehow I think that's different. :-)

The Wixom Zoo said...

Ugh! I super don't envy you on this one. Me and pioneer clothes don't get along. Oh, and walking 5 bajillion miles is sort of out of my comfort zone too. Good luck!

springrose said...

Beware all the sand you will end up eating. No matter how hard you try to keep it out it ends up in there! And take lots, and I mean LOTS of sunscreen and lip ointment and aloevera jel! You will all burn (OK maybe not you who is used to the sun) but the others will fry! ANd prepare for the heat and wind and lots of sand in places it doesn't belong!!! Oh and have fun!
OUr ward went a few years ago and chose people that were actually on the treak, the origional treak. They had to do research on them and everything before they went. Many of them felt those people there and it was a very spiritual experience for them! I wish I could have gone, but I was prego, so all the sand stories are from others in my ward who came back with blisters on their lips!

robin said...

Forget about the sewing and go to Deseret Book or DI and BUY yourself an outfit!!!

April said...

Robin is right, or you come down to my neck of the woods and we take a trek of our own to HIldale or Colorado City to one of their second hand stores.

Sandi said...

I am not jealous. AT ALL. Sounds almost as bad as going to cub scout day camp! You will be the best Ma and Pa and all your little trekkies will love you I'm sure. Bless your heart.
p.s. I thought I told you to learn how to say NO?!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

hee hee ha ha ha ho ho

Oh Sandi, I'm just a girl who cain't say no. That's why they call me the dummy, I s'pose.

I'm a little frightened about the sand in unholy places. And the blistering lips and face. And what if I'm on my comma? HUH? HUH? HUH?

And I have to cook! For 10 teenagers. Maybe I can do a Star Wars dumb and dumber cooking blog. they eat MRE's in space, right?

And I just found out there's no wi-fi in the desert. How am I s'pose to keep you peeps posted?

Thanks for all the fair warnings and tips and stories and scoldings, guys!

I'm going to D.I.

Paily said...

It really makes me happy that you are going to have an aloha bonnet. I was able to go on a trek when I was a YW. I also like to change things around, so I had tie-dye bonnets. Everyone else will be secretly jealous of how cool you are. Way to be an example! :)

Barbaloot said...

You know-I have NEVER been on one of those treks. I know my ward has done them...I just managed to not be able to go:)

T said...

I sewed a bunch of bloomers for my li'l sis when she went a few years back... rubber duck patterned ones were the BEST! don't give in to the plaid, it's not flattering on ANY hair.

Martha said...

So how long does this trek take? A week, 10 days? I know my bro the bish went with his fam on one a couple of years ago.

Does that mean no Hawaii trip? What about tennis camp?

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Is it just me, or are the inappropriate bloomers on a male mannequin????

Sandi said...

hahahahahahaahahhhhaaa!!!! I first read this at work, and it wont let me see the pics at work (maybe they think I'm looking at porn?) so I came back to look and following Low's comment I had to go check again and I do believe she is right...I'm a cracking up here! soooo funny.
wv=pantilu. I crap you not!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ewww, LoW!!!!!

Ha ha ha

Guess what? My visiting teachers just came over and I was listening to my playlist and when I went to turn it down the screen popped up and that inappropriate bloomer pic was on the screen. I played it off like I have those kinds of photos on my computer all the time, no big, but I was kinda EMBARRASSED!

Shame on me.

Martha, the trek is only 2 days. hee hee I think I can handle. As far as Hawaii, we're still keeping our fingers crossed. It's so darn expensive. ;( Tatum is really motivated for tennis right now. Are you sending any of your kids to tennis camp?

Paily, Tie Die Bonnets? We are total soul sistahs. Hey, are you still dating Shea?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Sandi, we were commenting at the same time so I didn't see yours. Ewwww. Now I'm doubly embarrassed. How come I didn't notice that before? Am I promoting pioneer porn? Cross-dressing pioneer porn?


Pantilu? You are kidding me, right?

I lub my verifier. lol

April said...

hahahaha!!! that is a man mannequin! what on earth is he doing wearing those panties???? hahahahaha!!!

Paily said...

Crash, I fear I don't know who Shae is.... but if he's nice, then sure, I'll date him :)

I told you that in another life we would be the best of friends. (But we couldn't have the song from Fox and the Hound, cause I have that song with another friend.) Hmm... What should our theme song be?