Thursday, August 12, 2010

PP and JJ and RRR and blah blah blah

Every day I look forward to receiving my ancient Chinese secret reader's profound message from the universe via my comment box.

A few days ago, when I posted about how I accidentally trekked for fake people I got this message:

God gives the powerful ability to him that is weak and tolerant.

Hey, who's he calling weak? I said I was dumb, not weak. How rude!

(Ain't it frightening just how well the ancient Chinese know me?)

Sometimes I wonder how my diary translates into Chinese? Do you think I make any sense? Cuz it's hard enough to make sense of me in English, huh?

Huh? Huh? Huh?

which reminds me, once, while I was working at the spud bar at Ricks College in Rexburg, Ideeho, this guy came up to me out of nowhere and said he had had a revelation while eating his spud that one day I would learn to speak Mandarin.

How weird is that?

Maybe he was foreshadowing my future. Maybe I'll learn to speak Mandarin via my google translator.

Ain't life just a kick?

Life is full of ironicity. That's what my hub always says.

I got an ironistic comment in my comment box yesterday from one of my neighbors, Katherine. She publicly corrected me about my
pioneer ancestor Elizabeth Xavier, who I said came across the plains on the Martin handcart company.

Apparently she came across the plains on the Willy company.

Only in Utah would my neighbor know more about my pioneer heritage than I do.

I never had this problem in Hawaii. The Hawaiians could care less about my ancestry.

In case you were wondering, I do know a little bit about who I am and where I came from. Katherine, correct me if I'm wrong when I say that Elizabeth Xavier and William Tate had a bunch of kids. One of them was named Thomas. Thomas also had a bunch of kids--14 to be exact. One of them was my great, great grandmother, Isabel Constance Tait.

This is where things get hazy because it involves a painful, shameful secret.

If you want to know more about this painful, shameful secret just ask Katherine, I'm sure she'd be happy to fill you in.

hee hee.

J/K Katherine. J/K. It's all good in the hood.

I will tell you guys about the painful, shameful secret soon because this weekend I'm taking a little field trip to visit the daughter of Isabel Constance Tait, who just so happens to be my cutie patootie grandma.

But before my field trip I'M GOING TO THE JACK JOHNSON CONCERT!

I totally get the Pointer Sister's now because I'M SO EXCITED.

And I just can't hide it.

I originally planned on posting about my two reduce, reuse, recycle projects in honor of JJ and this day, but too many other ironistic things are happening to me so it will have to wait.

Like today I got another message on my Facebook wall from another former student who turned into and English major and then turned into an English teacher.

What are the chances? THREE former student/teachers?????? They're coming out of the woodwork in droves.

(Am I really that old? And circular?)

I 'm not going to post the message from my student here because I don't want you to think I'm a Braggety Ann, but in short she said that I am the bombiggity dawg and that I totally resurrected Monty Python for her.

(I think she might be thinking of some other Sister Dummy, but let's keep that on the DL.)

In other breaking news, I peed my pants at my nephew's wedding today.

NOT joking.

OMGOSH, I only wish you all coulda been there with me. I don't know why I have all the fun
, but the ceremony was so stinkin' cute I could hardly keep a straight face.

First of all Kris Kringle was there.

And so was Mr. Ice Miser.

(Do I have connections in high places or what?)

I don't know where Mr. Heat Miser was, but I'm guessing he wasn't worthy to attend.

The ceremony was performed by the cutest man, who said the cutest things. But it was all very . . . Princess Bride-esque, if you get my drift.

Especially when he said the word eternity, which was like a bazillion times.

(btw, I didn't pee my pants during the ceremony. It was after dinner when the groom was recapping his impressions of it for me.)

Ahhh, I lub my life.

Except the part where my kids make me look like a bad mother.

No, your eyeballs are not playing tricks on you.

My hub and I were running late to pick up the kids for the wedding dinner so they had to meet us at a gas station. Hence the following inappropriate foot wear went under the radar.

And sock wear.

Please don't call social services on me.

K, gotsta go to bed now so I can have the energy to tell you all about the JJ concert and my RRR projects and my painful, shameful family secret field trip.


nevadanista said...

My sister is having a little surgery next week for that peeing your pants thing, just between you and me and whomever else reads your blog. Don't tell I told you, k. I can hook you up thoug, you know, if it keeps being a problem. But heck, I may need to hook myself up cause you almost made me pee my pants when you said you peed your pants!

nevadanista said...

Wow, all my typos :D

SWIRL said...

tee hee {crash peed her pants} heee hee, haw haw haaaaa! HAHAHAHAHHAHH Oh Dang! { now I peed my pants!}

You are too funny.
I love the slippahs... and that even the slippahs dont'match... it is good to see you haven't completely abandoned your Laie roots.... {now that you can flaunt your Pioneer heritage roots...)

I'll be thinking of you at JJ concert! Went to my FIRST concert EVER this summer- DAve Mathews... and {I guess they are good friends} SNL just had a funny spoof of the two of them.. you should look it up.

lub ya
your WV: says resilent... no kidding... whatz it saying?? you need some patience to be my friend??

InkMom said...

I got a Chinese comment the other day on my post about marital intimacy that said, "Let's cross that bridge when we come to it."

Well, that's a bit presumptuous, isn't it? And based on the link included with said comment, it doesn't look like anyone's been waiting to cross any bridges in all of China.

Cherie said...

You pretty much crack me up! I read your post on trekking for Fake People and it made me laugh.
Enjoy your concert! Love your footwear!
I am your newest follower!

Homer and Queen said...

Just so you know, we in Vegas don't give a care about our ancestry or yours. What ever pioneers settled Vegas probably got kicked our of Zion or Brigham hated them and sent them here. Of course it is 115 here so I'm sure I will feel differently when it is winter and you are in snow and I am not.

Still bitter about the JJ tickets. I thought you loved me!!!

Anonymous said...


Martha said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Martha said...

I know who's wearing the slippahs. They gotta be G's because W is so big that he and Z are the ones with the black shoes. Am I right?

Have fun at the concert. Are you taking any of the kids?

Josh plays in another big tourney tomorrow. I hope he does well. He's been playing everyday and running home from school on the beach. He puts his shoes and books in his backpack and runs home like that because he has early release. Oh, and he finally got a job at PCC. He starts today.

Adam goes for his missionary physical on Monday and then his forms are complete!!! So exciting.

Nan wasn't going to play soccer, but yesterday changed her mind and says it's so fun again. Silly girl--she's paying the late fee.

Tom goes 1/2 day for kindy today and then finally starts fulltime next week. He's on Dan Scott's soccer team which I'm thrilled about.

Jim and Nan found a rope swing and Akanas and Blums come over like everyday to play on it.

Rach is still the cutest one ever and says she's getting better at volleyball.

We have so many kids coming to tennis that we will probably have 3 teams this year. Of course, they won't be good teams because all our good players moved, but teams non the less.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey this is what my Chinese commenter says:

Look forward to your new article published! Say to you refuel!

Hee hee. How cute. She/he's telling me to get my rest so I can write all my blog posts. And she's excited to read them.

Isn't it exciting to not understand someone so mysterious?!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Martha, I love your family updates. It makes me feel like you're sending me a Christmas card every week. ;) You should write professional Christmas cards. ;) GUESS WHAT! T made the varsity tennis team at Lone Peak. She's way excited. Right now she'd #6 (second doubles). I'm glad you have such a high interest over there. You sure have your plate full.

Yay for Joshie running home bare f oot on the beach from school. and YAY for Mission physicals and rope swings and soccer and kindergarten and way cute volleyball players. Did I tell you Z is 5'9" now? How tall is R?

Yes, we're taking T with us to the concert. I keep telling her to Facebook Jackie J and tell her we're going to the concert.

Swirl, you cutie patootie. You make me LOL. I will try to get on those pirates lyrics. Those slippahs remind me of the time you were wearing the same feet. hahahahah That was classic. I'm jealous you went to Dave Matthews. I LUB his guts.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Inkmom I'm so happy to see you again. That cracks me up about your ancient Chinese secret comments. hee hee.

Queenie, you silly goose, you didn't even enter. You can't be bitter about something you didn't TRY for. I'm trying to win John Mayer tickets on the radio. I got 1st caller today, but they're looking for the 10th. Friday the 13th is my lucky day though so I'm sure I'll secure a set before the day is through. How hard can it be to be the 10th caller anyway?

Cherie, welcome welcome. I lub new followers. Told you it was my lucky day.

Nevada, HA! Surgery???? HA! ;)

Katherine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeNae said...

Love the footwear faux pas! And have I ever told you about the time I peed someone ELSE'S pants? Yep. That one's a keeper.

Martha said...

Go T go!!! I bet they have some good practices with so many good players. Not like here.

Did I have two of the same comments. I deleted one.

Z still has an inch to go to catch up to Rach. But, in a month he'll be taller.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha ha Katherine, R U serious??? WILLY/WILLIE Tomato/Tomahto. Your hub would say I'm an idiot. ;) hahaha

Martha, I knew you would be proud!

DeNae, WHAT the WHAT? You peed someone else's pants? Somehow you always manage to one up me. ha ha ha ha

HEY GUYS! Just got back from Jack Johnson concert. He sends his lub. hee hee. It was awesome.

Braden said...

LOL very princess brideish. Perfect.