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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Good Books and Bad Omens (and Bad Teachers)

Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Today I found a dead bird on my back porch. I'm pretty sure a dead bird is a bad omen so I did a Google search:


What does it mean if you find a dead bird on your back porch? Is it a bad omen?



I received the following answer:


Yes, it is a very bad omen. Someone very near and dear to you will be cleaning bird poop off their car within 7 days.


What did we do before Professor McGoogle? Huh? Huh? Huh?


Okay, so my twins came home from their first day of school with their undies in a knot over the stupid sixth grade rules.


This is my son's face at dinner as he was telling us that they're not allowed to say certain words, like crap, or stink, or stupid, or boring.



"Imagine not being able to say boring!" he is saying. "And we're not allowed to say I can't do it. How dumb is that?"


"And we can't swear either," added the other twin.


Where do they come up with these teachers anyway? That's what I want to know.


Speaking of dinner, Garden of Egan wrote this in my comment box yesterdee:

What are you going to do with all your free time now? I hope to see you in a apron setting the table for a nutritious meal that you spent all day baking! Please take a picture of that K?


It just so happens that I do spend all my free time in an apron baking nutritious meals. And I do take pictures of myself doing it:


I even put on my best Stepford wife face when saying "You too can bake nutritious meals for only 88 cents at Walmart."




Oh peeps, I'm just joshing. That was all staged. I didn't make turkey pot pies for dinner. I made tacos.



The cute kind.



You know what that face is thinking, don't you? It's thinking, I wish I was reading Mockingjay right now instead of eating cute tacos.


Here's that face after school:

And here's that face after dinner:

And here's that face reading the epilogue:

She's just about to shut the book and shout "It's SO GOOD! Way better than the first two."


How is that possible????


Should I stay up all night and read it? Or should I be a responsible adult and catch some Zzzzzzz's?


I guess I'll do the latter, but first I want to do something I haven't done in forever--not since I moved to Utah and got all depressed, which is what we Stepford wives do best here in Utah.


(Joshing again peeps! Just trying to get your goat!)


I'm going to show some linky lub.


If you're not a man, you should read this stinkin' heelarious short and sweet post about my least favorite punctuation mark. It's by Serene is My Name, Not My Life.


Also, do you guys remember New England Alyson? Well she's coming out about the abuse she suffered as a child and it's powerful stuff. Go to Alyson's new blog for some truth and dare.


And finally Vern from Rabbit in the Headlights wins the prize for proving that great things really are happening in Parawon. Thanks to Professor McGoogle she found out there is a demolition derby this weekend at the Iron County Fair.


"Dirt flys as mini cars race and Demolition cars crash. Starts at 7 p.m. in the grandstands. For more information call the Iron County Fair Office at 435-477-8380".


It doesn't get much better than that.



(But seriously, are there any other great things happening in Parowan?)





P.S. Did I ever mention that I lub me some Lulu?




It's not just puppy lub either. It's full-blown, full-on doggy lub.

22 comments:

Garden of Egan said...

Hilarious! I knew you could bake Banquet Meat Pies! Have you ever had them for breakfast the next day cold with catsup? Deliciousness!

Yes, Serene's post yesterday was unbelievable and too funny.

Glad the daughter enjoyed Mockingjay. I'm still trying to decide if I should read it or not. I'll wait for your recommendation.

Lulu is truly luscious. I would lub Lulu lub too.

Uh, did the twin get the milk mustache off his face before he went to school today? Cuz that would be crappy if he didn't.

Oh, and I have another question, if your tacos are cute, what does your meatloaf look like? Do you use earrings to make it cute?

Stephen said...

I love how those napkins just scream Mexican fiesta!

Barbaloot said...

Poor sixth graders being restricted in their language. Life is better when you're an adult and can say boring all you want.

And also, have I told you how much I love your hair? Cuz I do. I think it's beautiful. Maybe you can give me lessons on how to do my hair. Right now all I really know how to do is brush it and put it in a pony tail:)

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Thanks for the linky love! I wanted to meet up with you in Utah and talk to you all about it, but the whole Utah trip was a disaster. Did not get to see the people I actually wanted to see, just dealt with family drama. Fun times!

Holy cow, Lulu is a grown-up! Beautiful Lulu!

And please could you send me some cute tacos. My tummy is rumbling.

Sandi said...

I never considered dressing up my tacos like that. I guess I better start acting like a Utard and add a little umph to my dinners like you.

I'm with Barb- hooray for getting to
say whatever words I want. haha

I am going to finish Mockingjay today and I just can't wait to hear til you're done too so we can have your review.

I can't believe how that dog sits on your lap like that. It's kind of weird you know.

Vern said...

And I didn't even tell you the part about the rodeo just for kids, or about the council meeting. If I lived in Parowan, I just might go to a council meeting. How bad could the problems be? "The Johnson's have been moved in for THREE DAYS now and they're STILL not getting their mail. Who's on it?"

Lara said...

I just fell in love with your cute tacos. And Lulu, for that matter!

I need to head to the bookstore and get my hands on that book. Maybe this afternoon....

Serene is my name, not my life! said...

Okay Charlie's Angel! You never told me you moonlighted as Betty Crocker!!
Dang, I should have known. :D

OMGosh, lub the cute tacos! LOL!

Thanks for the linky love!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha Vern. You're such a cutie patootie.

Sandi, I can't wait to read it too. But I'm scared because once I start I can't stop. And I need to be able to stop right now. Lulu won't usually sit on my lap, but in those photos I'm trying to get her to her Kennel for bed. She has this amazing ability to make herself 100 lbs of dead weight when it's bedtime. So I'm actually trying to drag her off the floor. The only one who can get her into her kennel is my daughter. ha ha

Garden, my meatloaf isn't that cute. In fact my tacos aren't usually that cute either. Them were the only napkins I had in the house and they were left over from a baby shower. haha

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh and Barb, my hair's usually not that cute either. Pinky promise.

val of the south said...

That is some darn cute hair and darn cute tacos!

And you're wearing our matching IKEA apron, I love it!! Though I am kinda scared that you even have one of those pot pies in your house :o

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha Val. But no worries. In my defense, I haven't had one of those pot pies since I was a youngster growing up in the hood. I bought them when we went on trek and left my mom in charge of our twins. I didn't have time to prepare casseroles and such so I broke down. Obviously they still haven't been eaten. That's how much my kids liked them. ha ha

Are we going to Tooele?

sara said...

I was just curious as to what the punishment is for saying "boring?" Does Utah still put children in a dunce hat or has it changed to making them walk on the temple grounds in quiet reflection? (Which ultimately could bring them to use the b word again...)

T said...

I just want to take one of those cute little polka dot napkins and wipe the milk moustache off your son's frustrated face!

and then I will have to punch anyone who mentions MockingJay... because my pre-paid pre-ordered copy has STILL not arrived... I would say that I'm frustrated, but that would be lying because it doesn't include any colorful curse words.

if I were not so cursedly frustrated I would appreciate how huge Lulu has gotten though.

DeNae said...

"That Girl" over at "Pensievity" is allowing folks to write all kinds of spoilers about your Mocking book. So now I feel like I'm part of the club. Because, in my typical anti-social way, I have actively not read what everyone else is reading. But hey! Now I'm all caught up!

And I love your dog. Cuz she looks just like my dog, whom I also love.

And now I'm off to see what has Serene's knickers in such a twist.

Oh, oh! Also, I'm relieved to see that the thought police are alive and well and teaching 6th grade in Utah County. Honestly, just when I think I could move back to Utah, someone tells me I can't say 'crap'...

The Wixom Zoo said...

I can't wait to read Mockingjay either AND I super duper love your polka dot napkins too. :)

cfoxes33 said...

I know what you mean about the rules and teachers! I hope to blog on that stuff from my kiddos soon. But probably first it will be on Son's nosy surgery.

Loved the pics of your doggy, your apron and your MIL & FIL. Obama...not so much.

Martha said...

I love W's face and the little milk mustache he has going on. I bet you guys drink milk for dinner with those tacos because it's cheap and because you can.

Cute napkins to go with the tacos.

Our kitchen is so small we have to push the kitchen table against the wall when we aren't all here. So last night all 6 kids were home and we are so scrunches trying to eat dinner. I tried to be positive because a family in our ward doesn't even have a kitchen table, at least we have one, right?
So I visit taught Myrna M. on Sunday and guess what was open on her couch. The Hunger Games!! I am really going to have to get some free time to start reading.

Josh failed his driver's road test again yesterday. Man they just don't wanna give teenage boys their license here do they?

I had to look up the phone number of the health center here and I googled byuh health center refill line and the directory of the Provo one came up. So I had to scroll down and I saw Al on there. All the other guys look so official and professional and dare I say--geeky. I guess that's good, but I'm wondering if it's fun place. No wonder they hired him, to bring some sunshine and personality to the place.

Mariko said...

Your hair is doing some amazing things. Must be that Utah air.

So I totally have those rules in my classroom too.
But you know what those teachers forgot?
JUNK.
Your kids can totally say "junk".

Mary said...

I love your cute tacos, and I think you have the best cheek bones!

Martha said...

Mariko, So my daughter Rachel is in your class and she's dying for you to come back!!

Braden said...

As a 6th grade teacher, I appreciate giving me some new ideas for rules to make my kids lives miserable.

Dont' stay up all night and read Mockingjay. It's not bad, but it's not worth, I don't think. Just my opinion. I totally don't think it made sense that Peeta killed her mom, though. And what's up with her being Pres. Snow's granddaughter? Just weird.