The List Goes On

Get it? The List?

You don't get it, do you? You need me to spell it out, don't you?

Melanie Jacobson, or as I like to call her, the artist formerly known as Melanie J., can cross "publish a sassy romance novel" off her bucket list because her debut novel The List hit shelves last week. And I was first in line to pre-order!

That's right, baby! I'm prompt like that.

Unfortunately I wasn't first in line to receive my order. In fact I've been sitting by the mailbox day in and day out, waiting and waiting and waiting.

And waiting.

Yesterday it FINALLY arrived. Yesterday! But my review is TODAY!

As soon as it arrived I ripped into the box quick as lightening and loud as thunder, and then held the book up to the light. And opened it. And guess what it said?

"To Kenny, my dream come true."

Do you think Melanie is a hopeless romantic? When I first met her 2.3 years ago she was in love with a stapler. (Remember that Melanie?) I do. And I remember blogging about it, but I looked through my archives (twice) and there is no documentation of Melanie's unusual attraction to office supplies, which means only one thing . . . she hacked my account and shred all the evidence.

By chance was that stapler's name . . . Kenny? Hmmmm? Hmmmm? Hmmmm?

Ironically her hub's name is Kenny too. Go figure she'd pick a stapler with the same name.

Since the stapler affair--Staplegate, as I call it--Melanie J. has come a long way. She's gone and got herself all published and such, and her book has landed her the #7 spot on the Deseret Book Romance list. (I didn't know Deseret had a romance list, did you?) (Isn't that kinda oxymoronic?) (Or at least oxymormonic?)

I can't tell you how the book ends, because I'm not yet privy to that information, but I can list a a few important elements of the book (and it's author.)

(Get it? List?)

(Now you get it!)

1. The List is way fresh.
2. And way fun.
3. Melanie knows how to make you WANT to turn pages.
4. Melanie has a splendid sense of dry humor. And wet humor too. Wet/dry humor. She's like a wet/dry vac just sucking you in. Wet because it's a surfer book, and dry because, well, it's not a mermaid book! Her characters live on land. Where the people are.
5. But I hear Mermaid books are the next big thang.
6. Not only is Melanie witty, she is also pretty.
7. Look how pretty she is:

1. Even her toes are pretty. Not to mention her hot red wedges. (Personally I think she has better taste in shoes than she does in office equipment.)

1. Did I just start the list over again?
2. Bottom line. Melanie J. ROCKS my SOCKS.
3. She's super entertaining. And super smart.
4. And her main character, Ashley, has a stone cold heart, just like me.
5. We're practically twins.
6. Except I haven't gotten to the kissing part yet.
7. So maybe we're not twins.
8. Depends.
9. On how enthusiastic she gets.

Gotsta go find out.

In conclusion, if you want to buy yourself a copy, click here. Or go to Melanie's blog and see if you can score one for free.

She's having this fun contest thingie where if you write your own bucket list of at least 5 items you'll get TEN entries for free books. And jewelry.

Let's look to it, peeps.

Here's my list:

FIVE THINGS I WANT (or need) TO DO BEFORE I DIE:

1. Clean my closets
2. Throw away all the Cheetos wrappers from under my bed
3. Go inactive
4. Organize my tupperware alphabetically
5. Tell my kids not to STOP SLURPING THEIR CEREAL!

Amen!