Thursday, March 17, 2011

The List Goes On

Get it? The List?

You don't get it, do you? You need me to spell it out, don't you?

Melanie Jacobson, or as I like to call her, the artist formerly known as Melanie J., can cross "publish a sassy romance novel" off her bucket list because her debut novel The List hit shelves last week. And I was first in line to pre-order!

That's right, baby! I'm prompt like that.

Unfortunately I wasn't first in line to receive my order. In fact I've been sitting by the mailbox day in and day out, waiting and waiting and waiting.

And waiting.

Yesterday it FINALLY arrived. Yesterday! But my review is TODAY!

As soon as it arrived I ripped into the box quick as lightening and loud as thunder, and then held the book up to the light. And opened it. And guess what it said?

"To Kenny, my dream come true."

Do you think Melanie is a hopeless romantic? When I first met her 2.3 years ago she was in love with a stapler. (Remember that Melanie?) I do. And I remember blogging about it, but I looked through my archives (twice) and there is no documentation of Melanie's unusual attraction to office supplies, which means only one thing . . . she hacked my account and shred all the evidence.

By chance was that stapler's name . . . Kenny? Hmmmm? Hmmmm? Hmmmm?

Ironically her hub's name is Kenny too. Go figure she'd pick a stapler with the same name.

Since the stapler affair--Staplegate, as I call it--Melanie J. has come a long way. She's gone and got herself all published and such, and her book has landed her the #7 spot on the Deseret Book Romance list. (I didn't know Deseret had a romance list, did you?) (Isn't that kinda oxymoronic?) (Or at least oxymormonic?)

I can't tell you how the book ends, because I'm not yet privy to that information, but I can list a a few important elements of the book (and it's author.)

(Get it? List?)

(Now you get it!)

  1. The List is way fresh.
  2. And way fun.
  3. Melanie knows how to make you WANT to turn pages.
  4. Melanie has a splendid sense of dry humor. And wet humor too. Wet/dry humor. She's like a wet/dry vac just sucking you in. Wet because it's a surfer book, and dry because, well, it's not a mermaid book! Her characters live on land. Where the people are.
  5. But I hear Mermaid books are the next big thang.
  6. Not only is Melanie witty, she is also pretty.
  7. Look how pretty she is:

  1. Even her toes are pretty. Not to mention her hot red wedges. (Personally I think she has better taste in shoes than she does in office equipment.)

  1. Did I just start the list over again?
  2. Bottom line. Melanie J. ROCKS my SOCKS.
  3. She's super entertaining. And super smart.
  4. And her main character, Ashley, has a stone cold heart, just like me.
  5. We're practically twins.
  6. Except I haven't gotten to the kissing part yet.
  7. So maybe we're not twins.
  8. Depends.
  9. On how enthusiastic she gets.

Gotsta go find out.

In conclusion, if you want to buy yourself a copy, click here. Or go to Melanie's blog and see if you can score one for free.

She's having this fun contest thingie where if you write your own bucket list of at least 5 items you'll get TEN entries for free books. And jewelry.

Let's look to it, peeps.

Here's my list:


  1. Clean my closets
  2. Throw away all the Cheetos wrappers from under my bed
  3. Go inactive
  4. Organize my tupperware alphabetically
  5. Tell my kids not to STOP SLURPING THEIR CEREAL!



Melanie Jacobson said...

Okay, so I think this means you like the book so far. Maybe? Or at the very least you think it's funny, which is excellent because that's more or less all it's aiming to be.

And you should see the shoes I bought today. They're cousins to the shoes you posted.

And above all, thanks for doing this. Thanks for supporting me by buying the book and thanks for taking the time to review it. It means a ton to me.

And now I'm feeling all "real" and stuff, so I'm going to go read Failbook or something until I feel more jaded again.

val of the south said...

Ok Missy, you've been doing such a fabulous job reviewing others's time you got something out there for us to review!! No pressure or anything, but could ya get to it?

Looks like a fun read. I miss surfers. I miss sand. I don't miss flip flops though because I don't like things between my toes...except sand.

val of the south said...

Hey, side comment here...are you going to Women's Conference this year????

LisAway said...

I have always thought of Melanie as a wet and dry vac.

And, like you, I am also excited about all the upcoming Mermaid books.

Your list is very ambitious.

Melissa said...

A "wet/dry vac just sucking you in." Hilarious!

I can't wait to read the book, and I'm going to the website now!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Did I forget to mention that YES, I love the book so far. OF COURSE! Melanie, you ROCK my SOCKS. I'll write more after I finish it on my trip to Vegas this weekend.

Val, when is Women's Conference? I will look into it.

val of the south said...

It's April 28/29th a Thurs/Friday I think...Pat (NHC) always has such fun stalking pictures from there - I thought I might try it this year.

Pat, if you're out there, are you going this year???

Martha said...

Crud. I just wrote a ton and it's gone. Ok, I'll start over. I see Keola mentioned the Duerden's. Jen says she reads your blog but doesn't comment. I told her to get her buns on here and tell you their big news. Ok, she won't, so I will. They bought a house on the point!! It's the Wallace's house on the corner right when you turn right. It's huge, it has a pool, it costs a ton, but it's huge. They finish moving on Sat. What a project moving, because they have a lot of stuff.

It's spring break. The twins are building forts again. Can W & G bring over some rope and wood for the fort?

Rach is #1 singles now because the coaches who must not be named, made Kathryn choose golf. I have a lot of built up anger from this season, but it bums me out thinking about it so I'm hoping it will go away. Rach is doing great though. Josh has a lot of easy matches so it's hard to tell. He needs a little competition.

Ok, gotta get off the computer because Jim and Nan made a video and want to edit it. Have fun on your trip.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I am so excited for Melanie... plus she is really pretty! But from her comments and personality she throws out online, I'd have to agree about her awesome humor!

I'm going to have to check out her book! Great review! well partial review...

The Crash Test Dummy said...