Monday, September 26, 2011

Behind closed doors

The following story is completely, 100% true, without any embellishment or fancy spin.

It's about my dog, Lulu, who is a model of perfect human behavior when she is indoors. Outdoors she has a free spirit, but indoors she is as civilized as the queen of England. (If the queen of England drank from the loo every so often.)

Lulu never chews up our shoes or claws at the floor boards. She doesn't jump on the furniture or tinkle on the carpet. She won't steal our food or eat our homework when we're not looking. When we are away, our house remains intact, exactly as we left it.

But yesterday I had to run home real quick-like from church because I forgot something. I raced through the front door and clomped down my wooden hallway in my clickity-clak heels. When I arrived at my bedroom door I was met with a most peculiar sight. A sight so peculiar it stopped me dead in my clickity-clack tracks.

Someone was sleeping in my bed.

And her name was Lulu.

I mean she was literally sleeping in my bed, peeps. Not to be confused with on my bed. In other words, her head was on my pillow, and her body was under my covers.

I repeat, under my covers.

And she was sound asleep.

I knew you wouldn't believe me so I kicked off my heels and tip-toed down the hallway to grab my camera and capture some photographic evidence.

But she suddenly awoke, darted out of my bed, and started acting like she was a . . . dog.

Kinda makes ya wonder, don't it? About who's been eating your porridge behind closed doors.


Garden of Egan said...

For some reason, having Lulu sleeping IN your bed makes total sense. I could see that one coming.

Ya, in the pictures she's the model of canine perfection, but underneath, she's a stinker. Yup.
You have no idea the wild parties she's been having while you are singing praises to her virtues.

I'll pray for you.

DeNae said...

Oh my word. You have to blog about Lulu every single day. I think I'm in LOVE with that crazy dog.

Susan said...

That would have freaked me out. Like really freaked me out. Smart dog.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha Susan. It would have freaked me out if Lulu had opened her eyes and said, "My, what big ears I have." But as it were, she looked so stinkin' adorable that it only served to make me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Garden, thank you for your prayers. I do need them. ;)

And DeNae, YAY! So happy someone else appreciates my little princess.

hee hee

Kazzy said...

Lol. You are a sweet dog owner. I have had my older dog for 6 years and still block him into his pen when we all leave the house.

Momza said...

HA! Your Lulu reminds me of my lab, Kota--who startled me when I walked into the home teacher's room/front room with my nice sofa, and there she sat, like she owned it!
If I ever catch her in my bed, she'll be a BLT (black lab on toast) before she knows it!

Sandi said...

ba ha ha ha....I have KK and her cute baby at home with me right now and I just read this to her and we laughed and laughed and cried we were laughing so stinking hard. How in the heck did she pull up the covers? You are going to have to set up hidden camera so we can watch the secret life of Lulu...seriously! ha ha I love this story! Our dog that we had ever since KK was 10 years old just died 2 weeks ago and she was a gal with a funny personality too so maybe thats why this Lulu story made me laugh so hard. Thanks for sharing :)
p.s. my grand-baby is soooooooo cute!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Momza, hee hee I love the BLT. I obviously don't know where to draw the lines between the people and the animal world, but this is ridonkulous, don't ya think. ha ha

Oh Sandi, I wish you and KK could have seen it with me. Oh my. I could not stop giggling about it all. day. long. And I kept telling the story over and over to all my kids until my daughter finally had to poke my eyes out.

Oh how fun that KK and her kute baby are there with you. I can't wait to have grandbabies. Until then I just have me Lulu baby.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I suppose Lulu is better than some strange little girl with blond hair or some large stranger, but still not my favorite thing to have a dog sleeping in my bed.

Melanie Jacobson said...


Melanie Jacobson said...

Um, this goes in the post above. So I'm going to go repeat it.