Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Drain your Brain: Baby Steps Edition

Ahem . . .

Is this thing on? (testing testing)

Okay, I stand before you today to make an amendment to my last post about draining the clogs in your brain.

The amendment is really more like an addition--or an edition, if you will--inspired by your comments yesterday, as well as the recent developments in my daughter's continuing journey to learn about life from tennis rather than from life.

Okay, so lesson summary: sometimes your pipes get clogged, yada, yada, and then you need to drain your brain, or as I used to call it when I was a hoity toity English and history teacher, you need to deconstruct your brain. Which essentially means you empty it out (or if you think about it literally, means you tear down what has been (mis)constructed for you and by you) (that's a whole deep thought right there if you want to meditate upon it) (but let's not).

Any. ways. You drain your brain a little here and a little there. YaY for you, right!? And YaY for my daughter--braggetty, braggetty, braggetty. But as they say on Project Runway, one day you're in, the next day you're out.

That goes for clogs too, only vice versa.

One day they're out, the next day they're back in.

Gol dern clogs!

Draining your brain is evolutionary. It takes baby steps. Two baby steps forward, one baby step back. That's how clogs roll.

Two days ago my daughter beat a boy during practice. One of the varsity tennis boys who consistently beats her. She was down 5-2 and rallied back for the win. This was more than a baby step. It was a giant leap! It was like a big ole' super sonic plunger to her head.

The next day she dug in her heels and qualified for states.

But then today she played for 3rd place in the region and lost. She has lost to this girl twice before so it's not surprising she lost again. Big deal, right? 3rd or 4th! Tit for Tat. I could care less if she loses. I'm just in it for the life lessons.

But on this day she could have won. And she felt it. But for some reason she let it slide.

This is what it looks like to win 4th in the region when you know you could have won 3rd.

Look very very very closely and you can almost see the drain filling up again.

But that's life, right! You're up. You're down. You're up. You're down. I'm still proud as a peacock.

I mean, just because you CAN do it, doesn't mean you HAVE to (every time), right?

Some of your comments yesterday reminded me that sometimes letting it slide is as important to draining your brain as wielding your sword.

Dolly said:

My son only got a red card in his game yesterday. I think it just added to the clog in his brain.

I keep trying to be the roto rooter to my kiddos and they don't seem to appreciate me calling them out on stuffs. They must be those sensitive "words of affirmation" types... which are lovely types of people too, but when they need an experience and won't go and get one, it's just a bit exasperating and I'm not one to let too much build up in my brain before I finally say something that is insightful, but comes out all wrong. I sort of suck at parenting. You look like you've got it going strong. Ok, time for me to go watch Dieter Uchtdorf again. : )

First of all, YES, go listen to Uchtdorf again. He is a cure-all! Second of all, AMEN! Don't we all feel like we suck at parenting? One day I have it going strong and the next day I'm listening to Uchtdorf again.

Susan said:

I'm so glad for your daughter. My daughter plays soccer because she really likes it, but it's not her passion either. I try to tell myself that's okay, but it's hard. Thanks for the reminder of why they play.

Been there/done that/still there/doing that! It's like giving yourself a root canal to say, "that's okay" when your kid doesn't (how do I say this?) LOVE to do the things they are best at. Or see themselves as they really are, and as they really can be. YET.

We all want our kids to strive and learn and find their grails and live their dreams and bloom and grow, (but only where they're planted) right? That's why we're all listening to Uchtdorf.

We all want to be the wind beneath our kid's wings.

But you know what? Sometimes they just gotta flap!

DeNae said:

I'm pretty sure this post was about more than your house, or even your daughter.

DeNae is so on to me. She has noticed that I never really come out and say what I'm trying to say, and once you figure that out about me, you suddenly get me.

You get me?

You are right DeNae, that post was about more than my house or my daughter. It was about me too, plus all of you. Ain't we all still draining our brains?

Okay and the truest comment came from Jillybean:

So far, our youngest kid has decided that he is passionate about Mario Kart on the Wii.

Touche, Jillybean! Touche! Who isn't passionate about Mario Kart?


DeNae said...

There is something to be said for being passionate about Mario Kart, Wii style. It means your kids are capable of feeling passionately about SOMETHING. As they get older, it is so exciting to see that same level of total commitment, excitement, and enthusiasm -- once reserved for video games and sleeping until noon -- channelled into something meaningful and rewarding. Your kids, Deb, are actually exceptional. Many don't work as hard at finding their passion as yours seem to. I see big chunks of success heading their way.

Oh, and I love my clogs.

DeNae said...

The ones on my feet. Not in my brain.

Donna said...

I have been away!! I missed you

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

I usually feel that I am the only one who sucks at parenting. One of my biggest fears. My kids seem to be passionate about being grumpy lots of the time. It is something this whole letting them be who they're going to be.

Momza said...

This has got me to thinking about my own passions...and while I so enjoy many many things, I am most excited about seeing my children make positive choices in their daily lives. That, and their phone calls home. So so passionate about those.
Hmmm and one more, celebrating the goodness in life. Love that. Love how hard your yahoos try to succeed at their passions. N' you too, of course.

Garden of Egan said...

That was a great post.
Your Project Runway Daughter is beautimous!
As is her mama.

As far as sucking at the parenting thing........that's what I think I really excelled at.

Oh, Nutty Hamster said that your hubs is NOT to see my last post.
shhhhh....I got me some chickens! But I won't tell.

Dolly said...

Today I didn't suck at parenting. I am having a sick day but I played outside on the swing set and the trampoline with my daughter and her dog. Even though I was sick! That's a good mom thing right? I mean, it's not like I was taking a fake sick day in order to play. Playing is not a natural thing for me. I work for my own self so I wasn't fooling myself. It felt good to make a tiny sacrifice for her. I usually excel at the big crisis stuff. It's the day to day stuff that I need Draino-- Uchtdorf style!

The Little Foodie said...

I'm pretty sure I suck at parenting because we do no organized activities.
People ask me if I've signed up Amaya for such and such (ballet? soccer? hula?) and I look like a deer caught in the headlights.
Run away! Run away!

Martha said...

This just brings back Josh's last tennis season. In OIA East you should have seen him dominate. He was so on. Then he gets to CORP and the OIA finals and played like he didn't even care. I couldn't bare it. I felt like it was my fault. Maybe I didn't give him enough pep talks or practice with him enough. He was ok with it. He was ready to be done. Well, I'm still not ready for him to be done. I want him to play in college because I know he's good enough and could be better. I just wish he would want it too.