Livin' La Vida Fairy Tale

Today was a fairy tale.

That's what Taylor Swift says. But I have to disagree. I think yesterday was a fairy tale.

Actually, this whole week has been a fairy tale.

Not the chic-flick kind with the knight in shining armor, but sometimes I could swear the universe is playing favorites.  At least if there's food involved.

Like on Tuesday, I went for Chinese with my mom and got three fortunes in my cookie. My mom only got one.

See what I mean?

And a few nights ago I walked into my kitchen and my niece was there making spaghetti and meatballs.

What are the chances?

And today, my hub took me to Olive Garden and we ordered my favorite Zuppa Toscana soup and all-you-can-eat salad. Then tonight I was invited to a pow wow hosted by my Stake Young Women's president. Guess what she served? That's right, Zuppa Toscana soup and all-you-can-eat salad. 

Things like that happen to me all the time.

It was a pretty fun night once I got over my embarrassment. 

"You said pow wow, right?" I clarified when I walked into a run full of Young Women's presidents.  

"Uh-huh!" They nodded, wide-eyed.

"Then why am I the only one wearing a feather headdress and moccasins?" 

Things like that happen to me all the time too. 

So, I finally decided on a winter vice besides wearing drab colored sweaters. I decided on a French vice because French vices are more romantic than American vices. The best thing is, it's French, but it's not fried, and you don't have to use your tongue.

I'm hooked on . . . drumroll, please . . . crocheting.

Unlike porn and Prozac, crocheting is a vice you can teach your Young Women so they can make baby hats and booties for the humanitarian center.


It's also a vice you can sit around and do with other cast members of the Sponge Bob ward in between episodes.

One of my favorite cast members is our Relief Society Compassionate Service leader.  She's a real kick-in-the-pants. But for some reason she was as nervous at a pregnant nun to teach our Young Women how to crochet (her words, not mine). So a few days ago I invited her and some others over for a crash course in crochet. (Get it? crash course.)

Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! Can I just say how addicting it is to sit around and crochet with a bunch of pregnant nuns?

Bless their hearts.

Except it was kinda weird when my Laurel adviser walked into my house and announced, "I had my first kiss in your basement when I was 14!"

Eww, I wonder how many other people I know have made out in my basement.

Ain't it weird to think on? I mean, all that hidden history just hovering around us all. Good thing we're so blissfully ignorant.

Speaking of history, this Sponge Bob ward has a lot of history together. It's the kind of ward that people grow up in and get married in and raise their kids to grow up in and get married in and raise their kids in. And so on and so on and so on.

My Laurel adviser, who made out in my basement, grew up in this ward.

Her mom grew up in this ward too.

And her mom's Laurel adviser grew up in this ward too. She is 83 years old and she's still in this ward.

And she still bowls every week on a bowling league. At least she did, until last month when she tripped over a stray bowling shoe on her way down the lane and broke her hip.

I can't imagine it. Bowling. Every week. For 83 years. Until you trip on a shoe and break your hip.

How would it feel to always know who you are and where you want to bowl? To know this is the place. Your place. Your series. Sponge Bob for LIFE!

I guess that's the advantage of being a cartoon character.

Me, I still don't know which bowling league I belong to. I'm like a bedouin or a gypsy, minus that sexy air of mystery. 

But hey, if you ever need a "This is where I wish I belonged" kinda gal, I'm your kinda gal.

Maybe I'm a Demigod like Percy Jackson. (I bet my real father was the god of traffic school.)

Not complaining though. It ain't so bad being a Demigod and hanging out with a bunch of cartoon characters.

Some of my favorite cartoon characters live in my ward. Russell, from UP, for instance.

He's fourteen now and he likes to choke my son during Sunday School--no doubt my son deserves it.  When Russell isn't wearing his scout uniform he wears a classy black wool overcoat with a beret and white gloves.  And he carries a cane.  

My favorite favorite characters in the ward are the wild Thornberries.

They're my home teachers--a father/son team.

Imagine Chris Farley and Mike Myers. With Chickens.

Chickens that play soccer.

Soccer playing chickens outside, and a five foot iguana crawling across the ceiling inside. Although one of their chickens does come inside and watch t.v. with them. Apparently he laughs and cries in all the right places. And he scootches over and snuggles with Brother Thornberry during the scary parts.

I guess me and Taylor Swift ain't the only ones livin' la vida fairy tale.