The circle of life . . .

First I'd like to bear my testimony that I know the Lion King is true.

I just had a circle of life experience, which is just Disney-speak for I'm officially an old lady.

Remember when I was an English teacher in Hawaii instead of a desperate housewife in Utah?

Back and back and back in the day?

Me too.

Well one thing we English teachers would discuss at department meetings was our suspicions that English was losing it's sex appeal. It just isn't a sexy major anymore. At least not as sexy as some of the newer, hipper majors, like interdisciplinary studies, or peace studies or global warming studies or freakanomics.

When I visited China several years ago everyone was majoring in English--English is sexy in China--but in America English is stodgy and stuffy and, dare I say, empirialistic.

In China students can quote Hamlet better than me, but American students pooh pooh both Mel Gibson AND Shakespeare.

"He's a plagiarizer," they say, if they know enough about him. Otherwise they say he makes them yawn and want to hit their heads against a cinder block wall. Ironically Shakespeare often made me want to hit their heads against a cinder block wall too.

As English teachers we were always trying to think of ways to sex up the major, you know. Make it more intellectually stimulating. Use more word-play. Get our students hooked on phonics. And ideas. And research papers.

If you can hook a student on research papers, you can hook 'em on anything.

That's what I always said.

We were often encouraged by the department to try to turn our students on to the English major. It felt dirty, and cheap, but I reeled in my fair share.

Little did I know, however, that I'd live to see the day when a student of mine would become not just an English major but an English teacher as well.

And little did I know that not one, but TWO of my students would become English teachers.

BTW, before I was a blogger I had other favorite students beside Wolfgang from Austria. Miles and Keola to name a few.

Miles and Keola are both teaching English at BYUH this semester. I can prove it if you need evidence. (Is Facebook a credible source?)

I recently received this message on my Facebook wall:

Sister Dummy, I am sitting at your desk right now at BYUH and preparing to teach English 101 this fall. I keep telling Keola that if I can be half the teacher you were for us, I will consider my class an enormous success. Any tips for me? --Miles.

SIGH!

SNIFF!

He's sitting at my desk.

MY desk.

Excuse me a moment while I blow my nose.

I'm just soooooooo happy.

But also a little bit sad.

And not because I'm a circle now instead of a square.

And not because I don't lub my new life as a desperate housewife.

And not because I don't lub Miles and Keola's new sexy life sitting at MY desk.

It's just that sometimes my stone cold heart just wants to poke Walt Disney's eyes out.

You get me?

P.S. Yes, Miles, I have a tip for you: Wear something low-cut. And don't be afraid to show a little leg.