Thursday, September 16, 2010

Behind, Behinder and Behindest

I feel like that old saying The hurrieder I go, the behinder I get. (Ironically, the hurrieder I eat, the behinder I get too.) (hee hee)

Ain't it funny how you turn into all the old sayings on your childhood walls. Watch what you put on your childhood walls, peeps, for they will become your destiny.

Oh, wow. Did I just get all James Allen on you?

So I've been making a trek ROCKUMENTARY for the past four days. That's what I've been doing. Because I know the pioneers would've rocked out had they had the option. But now I'm behinder than I was last week when I was just behind.

When I give my first General Conference address I'm going to title it Behind, Behinder, and Behindest. Because life is about choices and priorities, even when you're in the red.

The worst part about being behinder is that my brain gets all blogged up. I need a plunger to unplug all the ideas and stories stuck in my brain right now.

Braden Bell and my mom are not going to like this analogy, because they both have delicate sensibilities, but when my brain gets full it's not unlike when my bladder gets full. I have so many full bladder stories, peeps. Oh, I could keep you here all night with my bus-across-New-England-with-a-full-bladder stories alone. That doesn't include my dating-with-a-full-bladder stories.

Maybe I will make my millions writing a series of full-bladder books. Like this one time I went on this date wid dis guy from da Bronx that I met at Nathan's. Shee wiz, (no pun intended) I shoulda known bettaw dan to cruise NYC on a full bladdaw wid some wize guy from da Bronx.

Ooooh, did that sound like Larry, Curly and Moe all rolled into Al Pacino's body? How gifted am I?

Anyways, point is, I need to relieve my brain. ASAP.

But first I need to wualk my duawg, clean my cawr and mowr my luawn.

Ya get me?

BYW, I stand corrected about Bawston. My friend Lisr says it's pronounced Bahston. And just because she's lived there for a handful of years she thinks she knows mo bettah.

Hmmph. (Hahved Yahd snobs!)

Well, I just spent a whole post saying absolutely nothing at all, didn't I?

I guess that makes me behindest now.

P.S. You know my dang stinkin' friggin cute dog, Lulu? The one that I lub and adore with all my stone cold heart?

She ate my pretty shoes.


val of the south said...


val of the south said...

first (and second)

val of the south said...

You are entertaining even when you say nothing at all :P

Kristina P. said...

That full bladder brain sounds painful.

I think you should get a Go Girl!

The Crash Test Dummy said...


Garden of Egan said...

You had a full bladder AND Lulu ate your favorite shoes???????

You better go back to bed right now. If you're behindest it can't get worse can it?

Barbaloot said...

A post about nothing? What a novelty... :)

Do you still like Lule? Even after she ate your shoes?

Alyson (New England Living) said...

Being an adopted New Englander and next door neighbors with New York, this post made me feel at home! All east coast talk and no Ute talk. ;0

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Barb. You don't know about nothing posts, do you.

And yes, I still lub Lulu, even though they were my only red shoes. Now how am I going to get back to Oz? You, of all people, have empathy for me, huh?

Alyson, I am so going to take you up on it when I come to Bahston.

Garden, I would go back to bed, really I would, but I have to take all my kids to the dentist. ;(

T said...

Snahbs... :)

glad Lulu lub has survived... and now you have an excuse to go shoe shopping!!!

Martha said...

I'm up early because J & R didn't get up for seminary. They better make the bus, because I aint takin' them. They can walk. Hey soon they can actually walk or take the new bike path that they are starting.

I'm super behindest too. BYUH started yesterday and there are tons and tons of students. They all need help with their schedules and most can't even speak enough English to tell me what they need nor do they bring me cookies. I hate sitting in my office all day. I should be at the beach or the courts or at home napping. Anyway, two more days of add/drop and it will be over.

Sorry about the red shoes. Are you going to post your rockumentary?

Hey it's Thursday. Casey Tueller's call came on a Thurs. Do you think Adam's will come today? It's been over two weeks since he submitted them. Our first missionary. I'm so proud. It bet it comes today!!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Martha! Hug Nan for me. And my twins. That was so sweet what she did. That made my twins so happy.

New bike path? HA! Sure, they'll start it, but I'll give you a million bucks if they finish it.

Can I post my Rockumentary?

Maybe I can do it on Youtube or something? Never done it, but I can figure it out.

OMGOSH! Adam getting his mission call? WHAT? I can hardly wait. I didn't realize it was happening already. Where is Casey going? Do tell!

Please write me ASAP. On the call. I can't wait to hear where Adam is going. I hope it's Salt Lake. hahaha '

Good luck sitting in your office today. That is so NOT you! ;)

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

So sad to hear about the red shoes? Will Lulu wake up in Oz I wonder?

Martha you better post on her so we can all know about the call. How exciting, I was walking in your slippas last May. Now my son is in Florida, doing who knows what because he has not written to his mother for TWO whole weeks. But not to worry, I am not bitter. Any I may have hypotheticcally tattled on him to the mission president so I expect an nice long letter this monday.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Possibly your best post yet!! Even if it wasn't about nothing. (think Seinfeld) hahaha!!

Martha said...

Adam's Call is here!!! It's here but he wanted to open it by himself. So he went to the beach and will tell us all when the kids come home from school. I'm dying of suspense!!

Casey is going to San Deigo.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH! I want to know!!!! You must be DYING!

I'm going to wait right here until you come back and tell me, and all my peeps, where Adam is going. I hope it's SLC.

I'm having a girl cousin sleepover right now so I have a basement full of little girls watching Barbie and Prince of Persia. I'm hoping they get married so Barbie can be more international.

Okay, I'm waiting.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

My verifier says Ankness. Maybe that's where Adam is going.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Still waiting.

Maybe I'll go check your Facebook. I'll bet you guys will post there first.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH, Anchorage Alaska! Did my verifier call it or what? HA I knew it was in tune with the Universe.


That's perfect for him. I am so excited. When does he go?

val of the south said...

That's where my sister lives! Talk about weather shock coming from Hawaii!!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

True that, Val. Hey Val. Let's go to Tooele and then eat at that really yummy burger place on Main street. Can't remember the name, but I'll recognize it when I see it. Can you go first week in October? Maybe Tuesday?

val of the south said...

Sounds fabulous! I'm in - that first Tuesday would be perfect!

Braden said...

Hah! I am honored to be in the same category as your mother. Standing for decency and goodness on this blog. Do you remember Sam the Eagle from the Muppet Show? That is me.

Anonymous said...

My favorite full bladder story is my g'ma's date with my g'pa. There were 11 kids, and 1 bathroom. My g'ma had to pee, but couldn't before her date with my g'pa. G'pa took g'ma driving for a long time. G'ma was pretty miserable the whole time.