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Sunday, September 12, 2010

That place

Last night, while channel surfing, we caught the end of Frequency--that super duper complex time travel mystery thriller where this 36 year old cop, Johnny, learns how to use his father's old transistor radio to communicate with him in the past tense. Him, being his father who died 30 years earlier in a fire. 


Through the use of the transistor Johnny is able to warn his father about the fire and save his life.


How cool would that be?


Except, and this is the complicated part, because his father doesn't die, his mother, who is a nurse, isn't at his funeral, but is instead at work where she saves the life of a man who is a serial killer and who ends up killing her. That's the thanks she gets.


So poor Johnny saves his father, but in turn loses his mother.


So Johnny rewinds again and works with his father, via the magic transistor radio, to find the identity of the ungrateful serial killer before he murders their mother/wife.


They successfully foil the crime and alter their own history and in the end the whole family is alive and well and playing baseball together to a Garth Brooks song.


I like happy endings like that. Especially when Garth Brooks writes the lyrics.


And who wouldn't love to have a magic transistor radio to warn their loved ones of impending doom and gloom? I would.


Or would I?


Just think of all the pain and anguish you could spare people!


I could go back to my parents wedding day and tell my mom DON'T DO IT! It's going to miserable. He's going to cheat and go through long periods of depression. He won't be able to hold a job so there will be no money. What money there is he will spend on drugs. He'll overdose when he's 38, leaving you to raise seven kids by yourself. And his mother will tell everyone he died of a broken heart.


But then maybe I would just keep my trap shut. Because my mom lubbed my dad. Like crazy.


And anyway, in a nutshell it sounds like a really bad marriage, but we don't live in a nutshell do we? If I spared my mom all the pain I'd have to spare her all the joy as well. And the lessons. Nobody would learn any lessons.


(Besides, if my parents never got married what would I write about? Rainbows and butterflies?)


I could also go back to the day my great grandmother Constance got pregnant by he-who-must-not-be-named and tell her DON'T DO IT! It's going to be miserable. You are going to be ostracized by the town. And he-who-must-not-be-named will spend two years in prison with a scarlet letter A tattooed on his soul. Is that what you want? And your father will never speak to you again, even when you are screaming in agony for hours while giving birth. And there will be complications. With the birth. That will change you forever. You will be sick sick sick. And besides the years of headaches and infections your heart will ache in unimaginable ways. For years. You will leave your family and your home town and your daughter and move to California. Eventually you will marry a man you don't lub and then you will die in surgery when you are 33 years old. And your daughter will tell everyone you died of broken heart.


Then again maybe I would just keep my trap shut. After all, I wouldn't have a trap to shut if it weren't for that day. 


Am I right? Or am I right?


And anyway, that's just the bad stuff. That doesn't include all the good stuff. I'm betting she really did lub the man she married. Eventually. 


Maybe it's good we don't get magic transistor radios, huh? 


And maybe it's good Garth Brooks gets to write the happy ending lyrics. 


There’s a moment,
We all come to.
In our own time and in our own space.
Where all that we’ve done,
We can undo,
If our heart's in the right place.


(Thank goodness even stone cold hearts can get to that place.)



This post is dedicated to New England Alison because I've been reading her . . . leave a trail blog and I know she's moving towards that moment. 

19 comments:

Garden of Egan said...

Wow Crash. You do tell a story.
And you are right. You're right.

I think your stone cold heart is amazing and loving and understanding and I lub you

T said...

I love your perspective on this...

unfortunately I'm just still a little too close and I think I'd want to still dial up my sis about a year ago and tell her to hold onto that baby of hers... and spare her the hell the last year has been...

God knows what He's doing - I really believe that... I just sometimes have to remind myself of that.

(okay, light hearted break - your w.v. says Cybormal... is that like my trying to act normal when all I can manage is Cyborg feelings?)

Sandi said...

I've heard it said that if we knew the end result, we would never wish anything to be different than how it is. Not sure I believe it, but it's a thought.
Now. guess what I did today??
I drove right smack dab through Mt. Carmel, Utah and I didn't even know I was going to and do ya know how I knew I was there? huh? I saw the flippin sign that talks about HO-MADE pies and I screamed and made a whole car full of ladies turn around so I could go take a pic and then they all wanted a pic because it's so dang heelarious. And then I saw the Mt. Carmel sign and the Mt Carmel cemetery sign and I was looking all over to see if I could recognize your grandma's house. It was kind of cool. and kind of weird. And I couldn't wait to tell you!

My25Cents said...

You kill me. Really? My eyes are sweating all because you reached in and knocked on the door of my almost perfectly protected box of mementos.

I'm trying to believe, as my friend reminds me, "God don't cheat NObody!"

Thanks for always speaking truth sister -- I lub it all!

IWA (e - va) said...

First off, I know i have said this 100 times, but i love when you write about your family. You are so real and I love that about you!

Thanks for the link to Alyson's blog! Her blog is beautifully written with so much power.

PS. I was thinking about your magic quilts when i was reading Alyson's blog. Wouldnt it be nice to be able to just wrap the whole world in one?

Susan said...

Good gracious, girl! How'd you turn out so well?

Stephen said...

Wow, you have a way of making me feel grateful my family suffered so much so I could sit here and enjoy this caffeine free coke. You have even almost convinced me that maybe their lives weren't miserable, and that maybe, just maybe they experienced some happiness in their lives. Maybe they, or all of us, need to suffer to be able to enjoy and appreciate a few fleeting moments. I don't know if you answered the question completely, but you certainly posed the question beautifully. I was left wanting more.

Barbaloot said...

Basically, I've never seen Frequency and now I never want to!

Of course, it all ended good for them, but you're right-it probly wouldn't end good for us if we tried that. Especially your warnings---how else would you actually be here?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

OMGOSH Sandi, are you fer reals???? No stinkin' way!!! That is sooo dang cool. I lub thinking of you and your girlie friends screaming in the car and then turning around and taking photographic evidence of the Ho-made pies sign. Ha ahahahaha Isn't it heelarious. I can't believe you drove by my grandmas 100 year old house. And the grave yard. You were that close to the dummies dad. How cool is that?

Stephen, how funny. I wrote a whole bunch more to the post, answering the question more fully, but then I deleted it all because it felt too heavy handed for a dummy. Maybe I'll type it back up and post it today. Maybe. Anyways, sometimes the questions are more thought provoking than the answers. ;)

Iwa, I know what you mean about wrapping the whole world in a magic quilt. I feel the same way when I read Alyson's blog.

Oh my gosh, T, I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. It's so good we don't what's up ahead because I hate pain and suffering.

Garden, hugs! And thanks. You're so sweet.

My 25 cents. HUGS. I'm so glad some people appreciate truth. It's sometimes so awkward being real. Ya get me?

Susan, I don't know. It's funny. I feel so normal, but when I wrote that yesterday I thought What the What???? It's like that was then and this is now. I am not that girl anymore. Now I need to capture it before I lose her completely.

Barb. High five. Thanks for the validation.

Alyson (New England Living) said...

This is about the millionith time I've said this, but I just love you! Thank you for dedicating this to me. Seriously, tears coming down right now.

You are a magic writer and I love when you write about your family, with so much truth and humor and understanding! You are so evolved. Maybe someday I'll get to be like you! xx

Lara said...

This is a really amazing post. As much as I sometimes wish I could go back and change things or "fix" them, when it comes right down to it, I appreciate and am actually thankful for all of my experiences, because they have made me who I am. They continue to shape me and hopefully, in the end, I'll be really happy with what all those things made me into.

Thanks for the food for thought today.

Braden said...

Oh, Crash. I will just be really honest and admit that I am crying right now. Your post touched me very much. Please hug your mom for me. I don't have anything to say except that

Tiffany said...

I cant believe how much I love reading your blog. It makes me laugh and giggle and my eyes get those laughing tears, I read it twice usually, if my hub is around, cuz he always asks what is so funny.

You thats who.

Martha said...

So do they say CQ, CQ, CQ a ton of times in that movie? Did you think of Perry when you heard that? Maybe you didn't even know that that's what ham radio guys do. When we did the Samoa thing that's all Perry did was say CQ every night a million times.

Yesterday my twins were telling their friends that the reason we moved out of the townhouses was because you guys moved. We were too sad to stay their so we moved too.

Sandi said...

awwwww...did you hear what Martha just said?? so sweet :)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Aw, that was super sweet what Martha said.

SNIFF.

All of you are so sweet.

Sniff sniff


Mahalo.

Vern said...

I kept waiting for you to quote Garth Brooks' song "I coulda missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance". Too obvious?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Vern, that is PERFECT. I would have included that if I was more familiar with GB. Country music usually makes me itchy so I have to bathe in Benedryl before I listen.

hee hee

Did I spell Ben-a-drill wrong?

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Deeeeeeeeeeeeep stuff again.