My life is so predictable.
Every morning, at 7:32 a.m., I drive my two oldest kids to school. I drop my daughter off first and then make my way to my son's junior high. At 7:47 the Mello Yello commercial plays on 103.9 FM. Then comes Animals by Neon Trees, to which I always say, "They're from Provo, you know."
Then we park at the school and wait, because we're too early. Within minutes the Rudy look-alike twins walk by with their three amigos, followed by two blond skater boys on long boards. Then, just as Dorothy rides past us on her red utility bicycle with Toto basket, Bruno Mars comes on the radio and tells me I'm amazing, just the way I am.
"Maybe for my age," I say, as three boys zip by on scooters and the bus rounds the corner.
By this time it's 7:57 so my son says, "see ya mom," and jumps out of the car. On the way home David Archuleta comes on the radio and tries to tell me there's something bout lub that breaks his heart.
"Duuuuude! I coulda toldya that a long time ago!" I tell him. But it ain't no use telling teenagers anything these days. You gotta wait until they figure it out then write a song about it.
Every so often unpredictable things happen amongst all the predictable things. Like today I saw an old lady driving a riding mower down the street. For some reason that made my day. Or at least my morning. Until Lulu started barking ferociously and chasing the school bus down the street.
Neighbors expect to see a puppy displaying poor judgement once in a while. Am I right? Or am I right? What they don't expect to see is a Crash Test Dummy chasing Lulu down the street. In her bare feet. At least I wasn't shaking a rolling pin above my head as I shouted fake profanities at my dog.
Why do good dogs do bad things?
That what I want to know.
And why does it hurt so stinkin' bad to run down the street in bare feet? It never hurt in Hawaii!
Okay, so yes my life is incredibly Groundhog Day, but every so often I hear or see something out of the ordinary that makes me go WHAT THE HUH? And then I rush over here to share.
So my kids are in new schools in which they are being exposed to that other side of life. That Richy Rich side. Now if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that rich people are people too. I mean, they are just like ordinary folk like you and me. Except they have the money to make weird stuff happen. The stuff the rest of us only daydream about.
Like you know when you're unloading your groceries and you're like, "Man, these drinks take up a lot of my food space in my fridge. I wish I had a separate fridge for all my drinks."
Or you're getting a drink and you're like, "Gee whiz, I sure do enjoy ice ALOT. I wish I had a whole separate freezer for my ice needs."
Rich people can make that stuff happen.
And you know how when you're laying there watching TV and your dog starts getting all fidgety and restless and scratching at the door because she has to do her bizness? And you think, "Shoots, wouldn't it be so dang cool to have a button that my dog could push when she has to go shi shi. And then a bell would sound throughout the whole house to alert us that it's time to let her out."
Rich people can make that happen too.
My daughter saw it all with her very own eyeballs, peeps. A dog pushing a shi shi button!!!
Is this like a Chuck Norris joke thing? Where everyone else is in the know but me?