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Monday, September 27, 2010

What the HUH?

My life is so predictable.


Every morning, at 7:32 a.m., I drive my two oldest kids to school. I drop my daughter off first and then make my way to my son's junior high. At 7:47 the Mello Yello commercial plays on 103.9 FM. Then comes Animals by Neon Trees, to which I always say, "They're from Provo, you know."


Then we park at the school and wait, because we're too early. Within minutes the Rudy look-alike twins walk by with their three amigos, followed by two blond skater boys on long boards. Then, just as Dorothy rides past us on her red utility bicycle with Toto basket, Bruno Mars comes on the radio and tells me I'm amazing, just the way I am.


"Maybe for my age," I say, as three boys zip by on scooters and the bus rounds the corner.


By this time it's 7:57 so my son says, "see ya mom," and jumps out of the car. On the way home David Archuleta comes on the radio and tries to tell me there's something bout lub that breaks his heart.


"Duuuuude! I coulda toldya that a long time ago!" I tell him. But it ain't no use telling teenagers anything these days. You gotta wait until they figure it out then write a song about it.


Every so often unpredictable things happen amongst all the predictable things. Like today I saw an old lady driving a riding mower down the street. For some reason that made my day. Or at least my morning. Until Lulu started barking ferociously and chasing the school bus down the street.


Neighbors expect to see a puppy displaying poor judgement once in a while. Am I right? Or am I right? What they don't expect to see is a Crash Test Dummy chasing Lulu down the street. In her bare feet. At least I wasn't shaking a rolling pin above my head as I shouted fake profanities at my dog.


Why do good dogs do bad things?


That what I want to know.


And why does it hurt so stinkin' bad to run down the street in bare feet? It never hurt in Hawaii!


Okay, so yes my life is incredibly Groundhog Day, but every so often I hear or see something out of the ordinary that makes me go WHAT THE HUH? And then I rush over here to share.


So my kids are in new schools in which they are being exposed to that other side of life. That Richy Rich side. Now if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that rich people are people too. I mean, they are just like ordinary folk like you and me. Except they have the money to make weird stuff happen. The stuff the rest of us only daydream about.


Like you know when you're unloading your groceries and you're like, "Man, these drinks take up a lot of my food space in my fridge. I wish I had a separate fridge for all my drinks."


Or you're getting a drink and you're like, "Gee whiz, I sure do enjoy ice ALOT. I wish I had a whole separate freezer for my ice needs."


Rich people can make that stuff happen.


And you know how when you're laying there watching TV and your dog starts getting all fidgety and restless and scratching at the door because she has to do her bizness? And you think, "Shoots, wouldn't it be so dang cool to have a button that my dog could push when she has to go shi shi. And then a bell would sound throughout the whole house to alert us that it's time to let her out."


Rich people can make that happen too.


My daughter saw it all with her very own eyeballs, peeps. A dog pushing a shi shi button!!!


Is this like a Chuck Norris joke thing? Where everyone else is in the know but me?


10 comments:

T said...

I think I need a shi shi button for when my youngest feels the desire to urp up her few sips of water she has so far managed to keep down today.

Today I'm wanting back my groundhog day life :) (hehe, Groundhog day IS my favorite holiday after all!)

Kazzy said...

So, do you embrace the predictability? Seems like Groundhog Day, but I don't think that is that bad. :)

Mariko said...

I want a freezer for my ice!
But I only have 1 little diamond.
Hee hee.

I'm dying to know what the secretive secret you alluded to on my blog is. But I'm afraid to say it out loud. What if it's not what I think it is? But I so want it to be.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

Mellow Yellow? Like the drink? The soda??? Cause I LOVE that stuff but when I lived in Utah, they didn't have it. It's so dang smoooooooth.

Barbaloot said...

Gosh-I don't even use all the room in my one fridge---what would I do with two?

When David Archuleta tries to tell me things, I change the station. What does he know? He's 12!

Martha said...

I am just grateul that I now have my laundry machine inside the house and I don't have to empty buckets of dirty, sandy water because it hasn't been hooked up to a drain for months!!! All this suffering makes us appreciate the little things.

So Z's school is still a Jr. High? Will he be playing on a 9th grade team this season or what?

Jimmy won his first singles match! He was so excited. He's on a higher dose and man does it help. He can pay attention for an entire 8 game pro set.

DeNae said...

You need to link up to that post where you saw...what was it? A couch on a skateboard? A rabbit waiting to cross the street? I can't remember exactly, but I remember laughing and laughing. You gotta let your new friends see those funny pix.

Sounds like all is well, if not a teensy bit regular, in Zion. You know what happens when people are at ease in Zion, don't you?

That's right. The old lady lawn mower gang rolls into town and starts shootin' up the place. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Me (aka Danielle) said...

I've never heard of the shi shi button, but I've definitely witnessed what money can do. You ever eat Ms. Fields Cookies? I imagine she has since moved..but I saw her home once. She had her own fire engine and the crew to run it. Seriously. Only money can do that!

Amber said...

Hey, predictable can't be all that bad. Except for when you start falling asleep at the wheel and your hands and feet continue to drive as normal. That's when you gotta wonder...

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Yes, Kazzy, I embrace it. I kinda lub predictability

Danielle, are you fer real? Why would anyone want a fire engine and crew? I guess when you cook that much . . .

Wow.

hee hee DeNae, that's right. I forgot about that post.

Martha, YAY for Jimmy winning his first match. Give him a big hug from us. That's awesome. Z will be playing JV this year actually. He started practicing this week and he's too pooped to pop.

Barb, ha ha ha And Low, hahahaha You should do the Mello Yello commercials.

Mariko, I went to your box to give you a clue. Was it what you thought it was?