You know what's weird? AP Calculus.
I mean, fer reals! Last night my daughter was memorizing 92 formulas. Plus the trigonometric functions. And then she had to find the antiderivatives instead of the derivatives, plus the stupid U substitutions. (Her word, not mine.)
Am I on another planet? Or is edumacation these days just irrelevant to reality!? I personally have never used a single pre-algebraic equation in my real life.
You know what else is weird? People who sell their soul to the devil. According to my 14-year-old, everyone is doing it. At leaset everyone who is anyone. Somehow my son has gotten the inside scoop on the secret underground society that rules the world, and his worldview has been altered.
If we're chillin' around the t.v., watching the Grammy's or an NBA basketball game or CNN, he informs us, matter-of-factly, which musicians, athletes and politicians have sold their souls to the devil.
(Do you have any idea how much harder it is to enjoy music and sports and politics when you're wondering who has slipped over to the dark side?)
How does he know all this, you ask? He saw it on Youtube.
Youtube is an edumacation unto itself.
See this is why I worry so much about Seminary. Some kids hear information and filter it. Other kids believe it. And follow it. Word for word. And it messes with their heads.
My daughter came home yesterday with a seminary story that I can't even repeat, lest I cause an uproar the size of Vermont in the blogasphere. But she can filter. She can strip things down to their bare essentials and discard the mythology and the culturally imposed crapola.
My son, however . . .
The other day he announced to me that Shakespeare helped write the Bible.
"He really did!" He said more than once. "My seminary teacher told me so."
According to both his English and Seminary teachers, Shakespeare re-wrote Psalms 46, and, like all good Gangsta rappers, hid his name in secret code. The evidence is overwhelming, peeps--Shakespeare was 46 when he re-wrote psalms 46. The 46th word from the top is shake and the 46th word from the bottom is spear.
But who's counting?
No, seriously, who's counting. Because that's just weird. Who has that kind of time on their hands?
Any anyway, spear is the 47th word from the bottom.
(I'm weird like that.)