Monday, February 28, 2011

Grieving Shmieving!

I did it!

Well, I'm doing it. Confronting my past, that is.

I'm unpacking the last of the boxes from the move . . . 18 months ago.

August 19, 2009, to be exact.

It all started because I've been reading this book about grief, which says that grief is work. If you don't work through it, you don't move through it.

Okay, that was an enormous overly simplificated paraphrase, but you get the drift. I gotsta keep movin' forward. So I rolled up my sleeves and went to work.

I pulled out the last of the sacred boxes, one by one, and gently mulled over the contents.

Inside were the very. last. things, still in tact from my life in Hawaii. Exactly as I swept them into boxes from my kitchen counter on August 19th, 2009, as I was running out the door to catch my plane out of Neverland.

Or something like that.

I didn't sort through everything before I moved because moving is a lot like taking the GRE. No matter how prepared you think you are, when the clock runs out, you're left screaming, WAIT! I'm NOT DONE!

So yesterday I was like, you know what Crash, it's time to be done!

Granted, I haven't gone through all of the boxes, and I haven't gone through the 5th grade backpack--being done is a process--but I've gone through a few, and I found some things I've been looking for. But mostly I've found things I haven't been looking for. I even found a few things I didn't know I should be looking for. Like my hub's wedding ring.

He never told me it was missing. And I never asked. Probably because I never noticed. But when he came home yesterday I said, "Let me see your left hand. You know the one that is an extension of your left arm, which is an extension of your left heart, which is an extension of your left wife. Or at least your on-the-verge-of-leaving wife."

When he lifted up his left hand, I said, "Are you missing something?"

He gave me a puzzled look. So I poked his eyes out.

Hee hee. Just joshin', peeps. I'm so over my abandonment issues it ain't even funny.

So I found other things too. Things that by themselves are insignificant, but that together offer a laser beam of light into the inner workings of the nether regions of the stone-cold heart of a dummy.

Allow me to offer up a sampling:

  • A BBQ scrubber
  • A 20" universal inner tube
  • A paper fan from China
  • My Hawaii public library card
  • My hub's passport and resume. (Not sure why they were together, but like I said, soooooo over my abandonment issues.)
  • Three pair of sunglasses
  • An unopened wedding announcement for Jonathan Marler. (Sorry Jonathan.)
  • A reminder, dated 12/8/08, to deposit more lunch money into my twins account at Laie Elementary school.
  • A print from the Peggy Chun Gallery in Honolulu of two cows snuggling in a rowboat by the light of the full moon.
  • A thank you note from Iwa after I did a skit at the Relief Society birthday party.
  • A parking permit from the Maui Beach Vacation Club, valid until 12/20/08.
  • A piece of the BYU Marriott Center floor in honor of my hub. (Cept his name is spelled wrong.)
  • A print out pic of my favorite hair style, which I showed my vietnamese hairdresser every time I got my hair cut.
  • Ticket stubs from our last PCC night show dated 8/12/2009.
  • My last phone bill for $64.00 from Hawaiian Tel. (For the phone number 293-7546.)
  • Annette Lyon's Tower of Strength.
  • My white Nike baseball cap. (Remember that Martha?)
  • A Kahuku High School promotional DVD.
  • The nine of hearts from a deck of Yankees playing cards.
  • A ticket stub from a Cubworld concert on May 28, 2008.
  • A piece of a broken window louver . . .

The list goes on.

There were other things too. LOTS and LOTS of other things. Edge-of-your-seat-exciting things to divide and separate and organize into bins. Like cords.

And CDs.

And sticky notes filled with phone numbers I never called.

You can stop waiting by the phone now, peeps. I have officially chucked the sticky notes.

(speaking of Chuck, did anyone see Zac Levi singing with Mandy Moore at the Oscars last night? WHO KNEW the boy can SANG!?) (Not I!)

You wanna see him sang in real life? (Okay, but if your name is my darling daughter, look away, for I know how much you loathe kissing.)

Is it just me, or is anyone else suddenly in the mood for lub?

Grieving Shmieving! That's what I always say. (After I watch Chuck and Sarah kissing.)


IWA (e - va) said...

First off.. Chuck and Sarah Kiss A LOT! I dont think i ever notice that until watching that vid!

Your post is right in order with what we learned in church today! ....(So today L7 was visited by David Beck and Elder Whiting. They spoke in Sacrament and then the lucky youth got to spend the 2nd & 3rd Block with them... I was mesmerized by them.. the youth not so much.. after the second hour with them, the boys in front of me (12 yrd old deacons) literally started to take a part their chairs in the visitor center that they were sitting on.)

But anyways.. that was a long intro to a short point.. Brother Beck said, "You should do Hard things it's good for the soul! Life is Hard and so much more gratifying when you work through those hard things it!" and he even told us the secret to grieving.... really!

i remember that skit! Did you ever publish it? Or at least submit it to one of those sites so every other RS ward can use it.... Loved you box of chords (We got one too) I have no idea what they belong too, i was just to scared to throw them out!

Purge Sister.. Purge!

Susan said...

I knew Zachary Levi could sing because we have that song. It love it. HE's fantastic. Who knew, dorky, nerdy chuck could sing smooth, sultry love songs?

Momza said...

Here's where I admit we own all the seasons Chuck on DVD. We're totally fans of Chuck and Sarah. lol And yes, we watched Levi and Mandy sing last night and the 15 year old giggled.
As for grieving and moving on...I felt that way when we moved from our beautiful mountains of Colorado Springs to Boise in 2008. I missed our life here so much--it hurt physically--and I thought we were in Boise For-Ev-ER. But, it was just two years and now we're home.
I hope Heavenly Father has it in HIS plans for your return to the home of your heart someday. He's really awesome like that.

Annette Lyon said...

Wild moment to see a piece of me as part of your purging box . . .

Glad your holbs got his ring back!

T said...

some of your boxed up items made me laugh...

and wish that I hadn't just chucked my last box into the dumpster without opening it...

it hadn't been opened since Kansas (1998) and had been shifted to three homes since... I couldn't stomach it and just chucked it.

wait - that brings me to Chuck - which I love... though with all that kissing I have to be careful how many of my kids are watching with me!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Hey I saw you on the BYU tv channel yesterday. It made me do a double take that is for sure. But they were showing the special about when the BYUH choir went to Mongolia for a concert tour. You must have been a chaperone, huh? I had to record it because I had to go to stake conference and listen to Elder Uctdorf, but perhaps I will get to watch it again. Are you in it more than just at the beginning?

Becca said...

A small story for you:

Once upon a time I unplugged for the weekend and missed all manner of important Crashiness. Then I spent some minutes back-reading. And then I secretly felt glad that there is dog-allergy at my house, instead of the Furminator. And then I went to a job interview to be a substitute teacher, because I also need a little job. On days I feel like it. The End.

(And hey, grad school may be overrated, or it may be the secret to Universal Fame and Acclaim, but either way, it's not happening, at least not right now, so let's party {now that the grieving is over} and eat some guacamole. It helps, I assure you.)

Garden of Egan said...

Did you steal my box of computer and electric cords? I swear I gots dozens of those boxes.
Except I haven't moved.

Looks like you are so getting over your abandonment and are really for lub once you get that wedding ring on your hubs.

Martha said...

Yes, I remember that hat. I still wear mine. White goes with everything.I see T's Kahuku ID card too. You're just making me sad.

Mariko said...

#1. You are not a loser.
#2. This post made me sad, even if we are grieving shmieving.
#3. Ahem, back to #1, Didn't a certain vampire author graduate from that program or something? 'Nuff said. Who needs 'em.
#4. I always feel like a failure. Especially when I realize that if I ever want to own a little piece of Hawaii I will have to sell my soul to Kahuku high school.

Charlotte said...

In our last house I unpacked a box marked miscellaneous that I had moved 4 times without opening. Inside was all my husband's childhood photos, all my childhood photos, our wedding photos, and honeymoon photos. I need to work on my labeling skills.