Okay, I've had enough of that Strange Addictions show. I predict it's going down PDQ, because ewwww!
Is it just me or does watching people eat couch cushions and laundry detergent make you want to stick a toothbrush down your throat and scrub your esophagus with Coop Whip.
Maybe I have no patience for that show because I have my own strange addictions to worry about. Like my addiction to losing important things.
I was thinking about seeking counseling for my problem, but I'm afraid the psychologist would try to tell me that I'm actually addicted to searching for things.
What if he tells me that I'm getting something out of the process of looking? That the possibility of finding releases endorphins in my brain which make me high?
Or what if he tells me that I have a deep-seeded fear of loss, therefore I subconsciously recreate and then act out those fears on a regular basis?
Or that I am trying to drive my hub insane in order to push him away emotionally because I have issues with intimacy?
What if he wants me to go to group therapy to explore my hidden agendas and get in touch with my wounded inner child?
(Do you think I've been watching too much Celebrity Rehab?)
Have you guys ever watched Celebrity Rehab?
Me neither. Except this one time. Last week. There was a marathon while I was trying to sort through some of my unpacked boxes from the move.
I've never seen a show with louder, more redundant dialogue!
"Bleep, bleep, bleepity, bleep, BLEEP, bLeEp, swear word, bleep, cuss word, bleeeeeeeeeeep, curse word, BLEEEEEEEEP!"
Dr. Drew (not to be confused with Dr. Oz) says that you stop progressing emotionally at whatever age you begin taking drugs. So if you're 50 and you started taking drugs at age 20, then you're going to have the emotional maturity of a 20 year old.
I'm guessing Janice Dickinson started taking drugs when she was around seven years old.
Somebody needs to put that chick in time-out, ASAP!
Not criticizing. Just saying. In fact I wonder if my own emotional growth was stunted somewhere along the line. I never did actual drugs, but my mom fed me A LOT of cracked wheat during my pre-teen years. (She'll deny it though.)
Okay, so can I just share a nugget of wisdom I learned in between bleep words on Celebrity Rehab? You know how there is a lot of negative energy surrounding drug addiction? Well there is even MORE negative energy surrounding rehab.
You know I've always been the first to say DON'T DO DRUGS! But if you're already doing drugs . . . might as well just stay hooked. Fer reals. You may not live as long, but trust me, your quality of life will be much greater.
Luckily I have no room for a drugs in my life. I probably wouldn't be able to stay addicted anyway given my compulsion to misplace important things. Knowing me I'd put my stash in a safe place where I'd never be able to find it again.
But guess what . . . I think I'm ready. To face the move. And to start unpacking. And to stop losing important things.