Saturday, February 12, 2011

The. Very. Last. Things.

Today I had to pick my twins up from Space Camp, only I couldn't remember what time, so I pulled out their backpacks to see if I could find out.

I never go through their back packs. That's how neglectful I am. I don't check their texts either.

Someone should seriously call social services on me.

So twin #2's backpack was neat and tidy, but twins #1--the subversive one--oh boy, oh boy! That kid needs a mom. PRONTO!

I have a theory that the most valuable and insightful recorded family history is simply a list of what you find in your relatives garbage cans. So I took it upon myself to make a list of everything I found in my son's backpack.

For the sake of posterity:

  • 1 crumpled dixie cup
  • 6 balls of yarn
  • a sock
  • a plastic frog
  • a sprig of white, silk wildflowers
  • a ticket to The Magic Flute
  • a notice for the Goodie Sale on Dec 2nd
  • a construction paper spider
  • abstract melted crayon art
  • a Thank You note to me from his teacher--dated Oct.
  • plastic Easter egg full of spiderman tattoos
  • toilet paper roll shaker
  • the other sock
  • progress report with all the C's crossed out
  • a good behavior credit and debit booklet, with a tally of 5560 debits
  • a roll of scotch tape
  • a purple straw
  • 3 more toilet paper roll shakers
  • a science fair participant ribbon
  • The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan
  • a red and white striped origami swan
  • a note written in a secret code
  • the secret code key
I decoded the secret note, btw, and it's from a girl. It reads:

Thx 4 the card. Yeah, that would be fun.

WHAT would be fun?? WHAT WOULD BE FUN!????? Inquiring minds need to know.

Tomorrow I'm going to muster up the courage to empty his backpack from his last day of 5th grade--the day before we moved away from Hawaii.

Is it weird that I haven't opened it yet? After 18 months?

Is it weird that when he tried to empty it himself I yelled STOP! NOOOO! DON'T OPEN THAT!

"Why not?" he said.

I couldn't think of a valid reason, so I just said, "uh . . . . because . . . because . . . because . . . there's a BOMB in there."

The way I see it is like this . . . if my kid suddenly died and then I stumbled upon his backpack . . . would I be able to open it?

Not for a while.

Because it contains his very. last. things.

Our life in Hawaii . . . it suddenly died in August 2009. And those things in that back pack are the very. last. things.

You get me?


~A said...

I totally get it.

And just be glad that the backpack wasn't worse... my mom cleaned out a backpack of mine in third grade, and noticed that I had left an apple in there... for two months. "Oh, so that's where I put it!" Yeah. She wasn't pleased.

(For the record, my cleanliness has greatly improved in the past twelve-ish years. I promise.)

Garden of Egan said...

I so get you.
It's like there is Hawaii molecules in there and stuff and if you open it, they will escape and he'll never get them back.

I so totally get you.

I just hope there isn't stinky cheese in there.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Yes it does make perfect sense to me. Crazy how just things can really get to you. Especially last things.

Way to go on the super detective work.

Martha said...

They are not the last things from Hawaii. You are coming to visit us this summer. The boys are going to learn how to build a house and you an T are going to help me decorate. Of course we will go to the beach and play tennis and basketball when we get tired of building and decorating.

Annette Lyon said...

1) Your son may be a closet knitter. (6 balls of yarn?)

2) This made me all sniffly.

Sandi said...

Oh man I really really hope there is no musubi lurking in that Hawaiian back pack!
Are you really going to Hawaii this summer? I am trying really hard to find a way for me to go when Kasey has the baby---I WILL find a way because there is no way I am missing that. So hmmmm, I hope you are there when I am there and I can finally meet you!
p.s. what was the thank you note from the teacher for? come on I want to know what you did!

T said...

I'm joining Sandi in her "no musubi" hopes... that would NOT be pretty!!!

and seriously? 6 balls of yarn? does he make his own socks now that Lulu has eaten so many? (apparently he's managed to keep 2 of them safe in his bag...)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

The balls of yarn were small. And the thank you note was for me donating a new science project book to the classroom.

No big thang!

Oh, gosh, I didn't think about the possibility of musubi. EEEEK! That's funny about A's apple in the backpack.

I will return and report .

I'm afraid Hawaii ain't gonna happen this summer. I need to get rich and famous first. But Martha, it WILL happen soon. Can't wait.

Sandi, when is the baby due? You HAVE to go. I really wish I could come and meet you there.

Garden and nutty, knuckles!

DeNae said...

I loved this one, Deb! So funny, and so poignant, and so true. Home run, my friend.

wendy said...

sometimes those Very. Last. Things.
most. valued. things.


Susan said...

You almost made me cry, Crash, and you never do that. You're supposed to make me laugh! I feel cheated, and very touched.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh Wendy, HUGS! HUGE HUGS! I thought of you while I was writing this post.

Each thing must take on a particular value and meaning.


Susan, sorry girlfriend. And DeNae, THANK YOU! I lub making you proud. Hey, Susan and DeNae, I just signed up for storymakers.

LKP said...

getting it so clearly.
it's its own time capsule.
100% worth saving until the
moment you can savor its contents.
until the moment Heavenly Father
intends for you to open it, and
receive the healing your heart needs.