At least that's what my hub always says.
In Hawaii he would jump out of bed on Thanksgiving morning and drive to Chevron to buy a newspaper so he could plot his BF strategy.
Being the good little supportive, submissive, subservient wife that I am, I went along for the ride, but this year I was a hesitant because I've heard horror stories about the Utah crowds and the bargain shopper cat fights.
And because, well, it's cooooold outside at 4 a.m.
But my hub is a force to be reckoned with when he wants to save $120 on a BBQ grill. Needless to say, I submitted my will to his will and put on my game face.
Sooooo, do you want the low down skinny about Black Friday in Utah? Straight from the horses mouth?
(you might want to grab a pencil because some of this will be great for your next sacrament meeting talk.)
In Utah Walmart lets you wait inside their store before it opens. Right next to the product of your choice.
Shopko serves hot chocolate and Home Depot shows movies.
At Best Buy, while you're waiting to check out, the workers let you know that they would be happy to get you anything on your list you may have forgotten.
Black Friday in Utah is just like being at Disneyland--only less expensive with shorter lines and fewer people.
I kid not.
I have to admit I was a little disappointed there was no pushing or shoving, but my hub did have a major adrenalin rush at Home Depot.
(This is the part you can use for your next sacrament meeting talk.)
Home Depot didn't open until 6 a.m. so we had 30 minutes to wait in line and watch Elf, which I've seen a hundred million times, so I suggested we go next door to Best Buy and shop rather than wait in the below freezing temperatures.
But no, my hub was determined to get that BBQ grill and wasn't about to lose his place in line.
What a cutie patootie.
So I ditched him.
I went to Best Buy and left my poor hub alone, and vulnerable to the hypnotic persuasive powers of mob rule suggestion. For thirty minutes straight all he heard around him was buzz, buzz, buzz about the Rigid high performance wet/dry vac for the amazing low price of $20.
We already have one, but he got caught up in the moment and lost focus. As soon as the store opened he rushed along with all the other wet/dry vac groupies to aisle 14 where they were carefully stacked.
What happened next was a blur--a flurry of flatbed carts and frenzied jazz hands grabbing, grabbing, grabbing 3, 4, 5 wet/dry vacs. My hub tried to get a piece of the action, but to no avail.
SUDDENLY a voice came over the loud speaker and announced that there were more wet/dry vacs on aisle 1.
You do the math.
He booked it across the store, dodging the wheelbarrows and the fake Christmas trees and the portable heaters to aisle 1. He dove over the top of the chainsaws and did a forward roll, landing directly in front of the neatly stacked high performance wet/dry vacs--perfect for large or small clean ups.
But other people were diving and doing forward rolls too.
So my dear hub, bless his heart, boxed out, and shot his jazz hands into the crowd . . .
And I am happy (I think) to report that we are now the proud owners of a Rigid high performance wet/dry vac.
Thank you very much.
But there was a moment of clarity soon after he got his jazz hands on that wet/dry vac. It was merely a vague gnawing thought at first, but rather quickly it exploded into a white hot epiphany.
THE BBQ GRILL!
Had he traded what he wanted most for what he wanted NOW?
Had he been so caught up in the moment with a sassy little high performance wet/dry vac that he lost his chance to get what he came for? What he really needed?
All that searching and wishing and longing . . . all those lonely meals without grilled chicken or steak or burgers while he waited for the right BBQ grill to come along . . .
Was it too late?
No. Of course not, you silly goose. Who wants to buy a BBQ grill in the middle of winter?
But when you tell the story in your next Sacrament meeting talk, feel free to change the ending for dramatic effect. We wouldn't want kids out there thinking they can have their wet/dry vac and eat it too.