Thursday, December 3, 2009

Glory Dayz/Daze

Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness! I've been meaning to post all day, but I am seriously so tired.  It's 12:28 p.m. and I am just now sitting down to take a load off for the first time since I popped out of bed this morning.  

Its all because my hub wanted to know how my dumb and dumber cooking blog was coming along. And then he wanted to know how my windex cologne business was coming along.  And then he wanted to know if I was making any $$$ off my sushi shop slash vegetable oil gas station. 

I told him all three ideas were still in the conception stage, so he told me he had a business idea that was already in the labor and delivery stage. 

Fresh California oranges. 

Apparently I'm going to get rich and famous selling fresh Cali O.J. (minus the J). 

I'm no longer a dummy, peeps, I'm a bizness lady.  

And guess what else! I'm going back to school! You heard me right. I'm officially enrolled in traffic school and I'm going to major in coming-to-a-complete-stop-before-turning-in-front-of-the-nice-policeman-ology.
Hope I'm not too busy with my new bizness to go shopping for some new school clothes and a new backpack. I asked the nice policeman if traffic school is offering any scholarships this semester, so I could afford the new outfits, but he just shook his head. 

So guess what I got in the mail from my very first blog friend, Jami at Superfluous Miscellany?Guess! Guess! Guess!

Give up? huh? huh? huh?

Oh, you'll never guess.  I'll just show you. 

SPAM! Of every sort and variety.  A whole potpourri of SPAM.  PLUS a new musubi maker. CheeeeeeeeHoooo!


(Just between you and me though, that one small act of kindness and consideration was both superfluous AND miscellaneous.) 

But life is random like that. 

Take Sunday, for instance. My MIL randomly decided, after 20 years, that it was time to get our storage out of her storage.  So we did, and guess what we've been storing all these years? 

Our glory dayz.  

That's right--my old cheer skirt and pon pons, (which I like to call pom poms) and my hub's old college basketball uniform. Maybe I should try to dig up some photographic evidence for your viewing pleasure.

Wait! There is no try, there is only do, right?

It's amazing how much fun your kids can have with your glory dayz. And even more amazing how sordid they can make you feel as they're dragging your glory dayz through the mud.

The first words out of my daughter's mouth when she saw my cheer skirt was, "That is DISGUSTING!"

I think she was a little grossed out that it fit my youngest son. 

I told her I was never a little boys size 10, but she didn't believe me.  

Until she tried it on herself. 


HA! Look who's a little boys size 10 now! (btw, that's my sister's daughter in my sister's cheer skirt).

 My kids also fit into my hubs basketball jersey.

 But who cares about that?

So my sister came over and our daughters dared both of us to squeeze into our old glory dayz cheer sweaters.

Which we did, (when we sucked in our breath).

So then they double dog dared us to fit into our glory dayz cheer skirts. 

Which we did (although we couldn't zip them up.)

So then they triple dog dared us to to do a glory dayz toe touch.  

 (*Note: You are about to see videographic evidence of my existence. And believe me, it's graphic! (but not as graphic as the above forementioned double jointed elbows. No wonder I got cut from SYTYCDance.) (**Note: I didn't know I was being videographed or I would have tried harder.) (***Note: I photoshopped that fake tree in the background into the picture. But I didn't get a chance to photoshop the ornaments.)

(I really need to take Cheiko Okasaki's advice and lighten up, don't I?  I take life way too seriously.) 

P.S.  If this post feels groggy, it's because I fell asleep at least a dozen times while writing it. 


OldBoatGuy said...

This makes me want to chant my school cheer calls. Which we did at my 55th reunion last September. Hee Hee

T said...

laughing so hard I can hardly breathe! but I did think it was Pom Pons :)

you are hilarious - and SO coordinated as well!!!

WV says mesiess - messies? shoot, there's not even ornaments, let alone clutter (unless you photoshopped it all away?)

T said...

is it okay to admit that your sister's cheer outfit is cuter? or will that get me blog-banned?

T said...

and seriously - I didn't know that spam CAME in more than one flavor... (oh, I'm SO in danger of not being a BBFF with this admission)

Heather and Kyle said...

That is so funny. You are so skinny! You make me sick. I am still trying to lose baby fat and it is not coming off very good. Ethan and Kyle got a good laugh and the video. Thanks for the entertainment!!! Good luck sale oranges when do you start?

springrose said...

That was so funny! Did you fall down? I was worried there for a while you fell into the fire! Just so you know, my Hubby now loves to read your blog! He thinks you are so funny!! Can't wait for him to come home for lunch now to show him this post!!!

Sandi said...

It's the magic travelling sports uniforms! They fit everyone, it's amazing. I particularly like the shot of your boy in your cheer outfit. too funny. you guys look like you are having a blast being Utards!
p.s. wv=undies. were they showing when you did your jump thingy??

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

OH MY GOSH, that was awesome. So fun to see you having good times with your old glory days. Who says you can't go home?

And John Mayer was singing say what you need to say whilst I watched, but maybe the words need to be changed to be "cheer what you need to cheer"

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh NHC, John Mayer is so in tune with my psyche.

Sandi, My undies DEFINITELY would have been showing if I didn't have my magic traveling pants on underneath the magic traveling uniform. ;) Girlfriend, TWO more weeks! AAAAAHHH!

Springrose, YAY! The CTD diaries isn't just for smart, witty, desperate housewives anymore! Give your hub a hug for me.

Heather, we were s'posed to start today, but we had a hiccup with the license so hopefully Saturday. I should wear my cheer skirt and do crash test dummy cheers while I'm sitting on the side of the road selling fresh Cali O's.

T, hee hee I guess you can still be my blog bff, even though you're SPAM illiterate and you like my sister better. I'm used to that. Everything my sister has is way cuter than mine. I kid not. And it doesn't bother me.

OBG, I'm trying to picture you at your 55th high school reunion doing cheers. hee hee I guess we never grow up, do we. ;) I laughed at your light bulb comment, btw. I wasn't paying attention when my MIL was telling me how to darn socks. I was thinking about my next blog post. ha ha Too bad too, because my son's socks need some major darning to helk. You'll see in tomorrow's post.

Homer and Queen said...

I would have paid good money to see that! HAHAHAHA Impressed you could get the uniforms on!

Anonymous said...

Pretty impressive!

Jami said...

LOL. Love the cheer outfit and all of its models. Love the falling on your caboose. Love the incredible surprised look on your face when you opened your SPAM. (I prefer to think of the gift as unnecessarily random as opposed to super misc, but that's just because I prefer to spell the former rather than the later. :)

Blogging Mama Andrea said...

I can't believe your son put it on!

Sandi said...

So I forgot to tell you that we will have the same alma mater now. Yep me and my 17 year old got to attend traffic school together, but we did not think to get new outfits and back packs. Oh how I wish I would have!!
2 more weeks indeed!!!
she has turned into bridzilla- it needs to get here quick! man I hope she doesn't read this.

I am Lorinda W- you can call me LoW said...

That was about the coolest video EVER!!

DeNae said...

Dang, Crash, I'm not sure we can be friends any more, knowing that 'your people' pretty much snubbed the unholy helk out of 'my people' in HS.

Wait...hang on...buffering...initializing...OVER IT!

Whew, that was close.

I did toe touches with my sisters a year ago at Thanksgiving. I was just happy I could see my toes at all. I think I came 3 inches off the ground, but whatever. I was a choir geek, anyway!

April said...

I went from gagging to laughing! bueno! You performing in your cheer uniform was priceless! I love that everyone tried on the uniforms too! would be wise to stay away from spam...{gag}

Jami said...

Why do you think I sent the SPAM so very far away from me, April? Horrifying stuff.

April said...

LOL Jami!!!

Katherine said...

Love the pictures, Debbie! We're a lot alike...I have a green and white cheer uniform, I cheered for my hubby playing basketball in high school and you and I are the same age! Ooooh...scary, huh? And we love being silly with Melanie! Oh, but there is no way I could fit in my cheer uniform! You look great in yours!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Jamie, I prefer super misc. It makes me feel like a random super hero of sorts. Plus I don't have to look it up every time I spell it. LOVE the SPAM whether it makes April gag or not.

April sorry we didn't do lunch. Wednesday was jam packed.

Sandi, YAY! for having the same alma mater. What year did you graduate? It looks like I'm going to be the class of 2010.

Hee hee about Bridzilla. (shhhhhhh)

Katherine, I wish we had thought to bring you over to cheer with us. I can totally see you hamming it up for the camera. You would make a good dummy is what I'm trying to say. ;)

DeNae, I'm trying to think which school we snubbed. It had to be south? Springville or Spanish? hee hee Hey, I was always tolerant of the hillbillies. ;)

Martha said...

You still got it.

Maybe Garrett should go out for cheerleading. You know Perry's brothers were both cheerleaders. Royden at Skyline and Tom at BYU Hawaii. I don't think Al would approve however.

I talked to Gillian today. I guess
Carl had a little stroke. So I called her and told her I would really like to help with the tennis team. She didn't say no, so I'm thinking that means yes. Sell lots of oranges so you can send T over.

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

That was adorable! You guys are hilarious. It's sick you can still fit into those. I hate you ;-)

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Martha, I had no idea Royden and Tom were cheerleaders. Hee hee I'm just sayin.

Bless their hearts.

That is so sad about Carl. Please give them our love and aloha. I hope you get to help with the team. When does it start?

YES, we are trying to make the kids earn their money selling oranges to come back next summer. They are very motivated.

Emily, when does Ben tie the knot?

Tiffany said...

I remember both you and Mel in your glory days in those so cute cheer uniforms. Love seeing them again.

Mariko said...

The only thing I can think when I watch that video is, "WHAT THE HECK?! She's got home decorating going on!!!"