Friday, December 4, 2009

The Holy War

Remember Thanksgiving?  And how my MIL taught me how to darn socks?  

Well, it was just in the nick of time.

This here is photographic evidence that I lie not on this blog. When I say my thirteen-year-old son plays basketball outside in the snow in his socks, I mean it.

Before thanksgiving I would have simply screamed DARNIT at these socks, but now, thanks to my MIL, I know I need a needle and thread, and thanks to the Old Boat Guy I know I need a lightbulb to get these darn socks darned.

Why would I need a lightbulb, you ask?  I wondered that too. Apparently you put the lightbulb inside the sock. Most likely so you can see what you're darning.   

Which reminds me of a joke. 

How many Mormons does it take to darn a sock to helk? 

Four. One to screw in the lightbulb, one to say the closing prayer, and one to bring refreshments.   

The last Mormon is just there to say "the devil made me do it."

Ba dum bum.

Hey, btw, April says you can't shout your stains out by yelling at your laundry. Can anyone confirm this to be true? 

If I might add, you shouldn't deck your halls either.  Unless you want your walls to call social services on you.

Anyways, back to my son's holy war.  This is not the first time his feet have worn out their welcome on the basketball court.

Poor thing. I guess I need to teach him the hypocritic oath because what's the use of having holy socks when your shoes have no soul?

(ba dum bum)


Heather and Kyle said...

Wow! I have not seen shoes like that. I think I know what he wants for xmas? Has he been a good boy?

Anonymous said...

What is it about boys and always needing new shoes? (Well, I guess I always need new shoes too...but for a different reason).

p.s. even my ultra conservative and self-sufficient mom says that darning socks is way too much work. Just go buy some new ones.

The Garden of Egan said...

Very hilarious!
Sorry I wouldn't darn my socks to helk. I'm afraid I would through them in the garbage. I say too many swear words when I have a needle in my hand that has thread attached. Others say too many swear words when I have a needle in my hand about to give them a shot in the butt.

If you'll give me your address I'll have the bishop come over and give you some money so you can get some shoes for the poor boy and I'll send you some socks.


Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Yesterday at Institute we learned that you should only enter a war for very specific reasons. I wonder if that applies to holy wars as well.


Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

Oh my gosh I so relate with this. I seriously buy my Connor a new pair of shoes every month. He is killing us!! How the heck can boys do this to shoes?

Sandi said...

oh have been cracking me up so much lately. Crash has got her groove back! Not that you ever lost it, It's just that your past few posts have been making me pass diet coke through my nose because I have been laughing so hard. Maybe I have just lost my mind at this point. completely possible. I just say that none of my girls ever did that to their shoes, although I can't say the same for the socks. And if they had, there is NO way in HELK they would have worn them in public! haha. By the way I love the guy guarding him in that 3rd pic. Does he know he's playing BASKETBALL?
p.s. Kasey got her student teaching assignment and is so excited that she gets to go to Kahuku! I wonder if they will let her be a red raider FOR LIFE?

April said...

hahahahaha!!! Crash AND Sandi make me laugh! The socks and shoes and shirt message (Red Raider For Life) in this is killing me!
Did you tell him to wear his good shoes to go play in? He's lucky he didn't trip up any guys defending him with his sole. I hear he learned from a great neighbor how to do that!

PS...I even tried shouting and darning my laundry (not the socks kind-confusing I know) to helk and it didn't work!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hee hee Sandi,but did you like my Mormon joke? I CAN'T believe KK is going to be a Red Raider for LIFE! Cheehooo! I just hope when she moves on they let her back on campus. ;) I also hope she blogs all of her stories. Kahuku is some great blog material. Sandi, I think you're just a little punchy from passing two weddings through your nose in the past 6 months.

Egan, thank you for turning my name into the bishop. I do have photographic evidence of a new pair of shoes on the sidelines and me begging my son to put them on. Martha can probably testify. He did finally put them on at half-time. I guess I better post that tomorrow.

Mary, I'm with your mom. I've never darned a pair of socks in my life and I don't intend to either.

Heather, I keep forgetting to RSVP. Consider us IN!

Hee hee April about the great neighbor teaching him.

Emily, AMEN! I am in the market for 2 new pairs right now. And one I just bought last month. Cheap Target!

Nutty, alls I can say is why are you still going to institute? Aren't you holy enough already? I mean, of everyone I know, you've got SOUL, sis.

Homer and Queen said...

My hubby would just use duct tape.

OldBoatGuy said...

Yea, now-a-days darning is a lost art, and is labor intensive. But 65-70 years ago, in our family, a sock would last another season or so. Of course we didn't let the hole get THAT big. Hee Hee.

DeNae said...

I believe my son is in a sleeper cell as part of your son's gee-hawd. (I know how to spell that word; I just didn't want google sending holy warmongers over here. You're welcome.)

I decided a long time ago that teenagers grow little thumbtacks out of their feet. This is the only explanation for why milk lasts longer than my kid's socks.

Martha said...

Yes, I remember that game because Z left his shoes in the other car or something and had to wear those. I think he wanted to show them that shoes don't make the man and that he can score no matter what's on his feet.

Look at Semisi in the background. Tell all your readers that he now goes to Punahou (Obama's old private school) on a football scholarship because he was 12 years old and 200 pounds. (That's why I picked him and plus his mom is my buddy).

I just threw away a pair of Rach's tennis shoes because she kept wearing them with huge holes in them even though she had a brand new pair from Adidas Outlet. They were unaccetable because they were too white. Kids these days.

T said...

- I think you need a rim shot in with all those ba dum bums, because it's just THAT funny :)

Terresa said...

Yikes! Throw those puppies out (as in the socks, not the boys playing hoop). As soon as any of our socks get the slightest amount of wear in the heel, they are toast, baby. Toast! ;)

I know what Santa's bringing you guys this year...

ba dum bum!

Jami said...

I confess that I have darned socks with a needle and thread, but after a few experiences that ended up with me d@m^ing them, I gave up.

I can testify that shouting at the laundry is useless, but shouting at the launderers can get some results.