That's what the cops always say to me when they pull me over.
It's sweet and all, but do they really need to pull me over to tell me that? Couldn't they just text me?
I don't know what it is about Utah cops but they totally dig on me. It's almost creepy--like I'm Bella and they're Edward. They can't keep their eyes off of me. They probably sneak into my house at night and watch me sleep too.
I bet it drives them crazy that they can't read my mind, but I kinda wish they could because then they would know that I have a rare form of narcolepsy--I fall asleep if I drive 25 mph.
Fer reals. I have to go at least 30 mph or I slip into a coma.
So its official, I'm a five-mph-over-the-speed-limit kinda girl. And I'mma repeat offender. A triple threat. I'm once, twice, three times a lady.
A lady who can't drive 25.
What do they say again, third time is a charm? I hope my hub sees it that way when I tell him because I think three strikes is grounds for divorce in Utah.
What I don't get is how come my hub always gets a warning when he gets pulled over, but me I get tickets. If I were a cop for a day I would pull people over and give them cool tickets, like to concerts and stuff.
"Miss, can I see your drivers license? I need to know if you're 18 because I'm going to have to slap you with two tickets to see The Black Eyed Peas. "
When I saw the flashing lights this morning I told myself I HAD to cry--my cute-face cry, not my ugly-face cry. I HAD to work it. I've never been one to exploit my feminine charms on officers of the law, especially ones who want to suck my blood, but like all good little wives I was willing to compromise my standards for the sake of my marriage.
But the officer was a woman!
I can't do my cute-face cry in front of another women!
The upside is I get to go back to school.
I'll be able to complete a double major in traffic violation, which, if you think about it, makes me that much more credible when I tell the Bishop I'm overqualified to be the Young Women President.
Or maybe anonymous will help him figure that out for himself.