Pages

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Once You're Alive . . .

Here's a friendly update on the latest . . .


About my gangsta rapping phase . . . I'm over it. But I'm worried about Lulu. She takes things harder than I do.


And she's acting weird.





It started innocently enough. With Bob Marley.



But you know what they say about Bob Marley; he's just a gateway musician to B.O.B.


Raggae today, Hip Hop tomorrow.



Before you know it she'll be huffing and puff-daddying like the Big Bad Wolf.




While I was in my gangsta rapper phase I decided that ridiculous is my favorite gangsta rapper word. I lub it when rappers say ridiculous. It makes me feel like they really get me, you know. And they get life.


I did a lot of my gangsta rapping on the road, because I spend so much time in my car. If you want to know what a dummy like me looks like when she raps in the car, go to 2:07 of this video.






I'm not sharp with the words, especially the swear words, but my eyeballs make up for it.

About my daughter's tennis dealio . . . Remember when she played Alta in the region championship? Well Alta swept state! WOOHOO! Told ya they played like champions. And guess what else? No other team got 5 games off of Alta like my daughter and her doubles partner did.


So you know what that means, right? Technically that means my daughter and her partner took 2nd in state, right? I mean, if anonymous hadn't been so concerned about her transferring schools and all, right?


Anyways, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.


About my next door neighbor and bishop in Hawaii . . . It's weird. How everyone handles death differently. My daughter immediately wrote an email to Bishop Reid's wife. (She probably would have baked her a cake if their wasn't a body of water in between us.)


My fourteen year old was quiet. For a long time. Then he popped his iPod into the speaker dock and blasted his Hawaii playlist all night long.


My twins spoke in ANGRY voices.


"WHAT? BUT HE TALKED TO US!"


"AND HE BOUGHT OUR COOKIES!"


As if talking and buying cookies exempts you from dying.


Me, I scooped some ice cream into a bowl, poured macadamia nuts all over it, squirted chocolate syrup all over it, then watched Letters to Juliet. And then I called my doctor to make an appointment for a physical.


Life is so weird. And death is even weirder. One minute you're there and the next you're gone. POOF! Just like that.


But in a way you're not gone at all. As Emily Dickensen would say, you're "absent, yet present."


And as Tim O'Brien would say, "Once you're alive, you can't ever be dead."




a

13 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Well, at least Lulu knows a good marijuana leaf when she sees one.

T said...

gone is a concept I'm having a hard time grasping myself... *hugs* to you and your family... I'm all for blasting the music and the eating of ice cream... and whatever makes it a little more tolerable.

Garden of Egan said...

I'm concerned about Lulu's upbringing. She better come and live with me.

My heart aches for your bishop's family.
Prayers are with them.

Mary said...

Death is hard, even if you know that you're just saying, "see ya later".

Good ol' Justin Bieber. Is he singing about himself in this song? "Baby, baby, baby..."

Barbaloot said...

Next time I'm grieving, I'm coming over to your house for ice cream with macadamia nuts and chocolate. That's gotta help.

DeNae said...

I really am sorry about your bishop. I don't care who you are or how strong your testimony is, sudden death sucks.

And since my kids got too old to let me decorate them and take their pictures, we have had to make due with OUR golden retriever. Fortunately, she's a good sport, like Miss Lulu.

IWA (e - va) said...

Z and I handled it pretty much the same!


Btw... love the rapper in that video.. i love the lip movement and the eyeball rolling!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hi Iwa, you always get my jokes. I love it. Isn't that guy heelarious.

DeNae, that is so true. It's the whole surprise element that makes it 10 x harder. I have been writing my guts out for these essays. On the home stretch.

Barb, I LUB You. you are always there for me.

Garden, I am so happy to see you again. I have missed you much!

Mary, hee hee How old is that punk anyway. He sounds 12, but my kids insists he's 16. I better google it.

Dane and Taylor said...

That video is too funny! I literally laughed out loud for a good two minutes. I would love to see you rapping. My friends always joked with me that Kalei would come out a rapper cuz rap was the only thing that made my morning sickness better. I also love lulu's pics

Dane and Taylor said...

That video is too funny! I literally laughed out loud for a good two minutes. I would love to see you rapping. My friends always joked with me that Kalei would come out a rapper cuz rap was the only thing that made my morning sickness better. I also love lulu's pics

Kazzy said...

I was sad to hear about your bishop. That really stinks. LuLu looks like she is grieving in her own doggy way.

Martha said...

Nan is trying to do her SFA, but is disappointed because there's not a new post. How is she supposed to do her homework?

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Ha ha Martha. Poor Nan. Tell her we are out of school so I'm not thinking about homework. We are going out of town so I will post tomorrow. Or maybe tonight upon arrival. I will get something for her to read before school tomorrow. ha ha Tell her to watch the video a few more times so she can picture me gangsta rapping.