Oh, girlfriend, denial ain't no river in Egypt.
That's alls I'm gonna say 'bout that.
So guess what I've been thinking about lately? Besides votes. I've been thinking about loss. Again!
Another lubbed one passed away last week. (WHAT THE WHAT?) He was one our dearest friends from college. Herman, from Kiribati. He was a baker and a chef. He threw us an anniversary luau bigger than our reception (which technically wasn't that hard since we didn't have a reception). He flew to the mainland and made my brother's wedding cake. We helped him plan his wedding and we were there for the birth of his first two children. He even named his first son after my hub.
Cause of death: diabetes.
I'm sick of lubbed ones dying.
And then Lulu almost choked to death on a raw hide bone last night. Luckily I was still awake because I had to shove my hand down her throat and pull it out of her throat.
If lulu goes, I go! Fer reals!
But I don't wanna go. I wanna stay. Please let me stay.
I haven't gotten any of my test results back from my doctor's appointment yet and today I had to go get a sonogram because of some concern. The sonogram lady kept probing and probing and whenever I asked, "Am I gonna die?" she'd just smile and say "We're all gonna die someday, sweetie."
Okay, I fabricated that conversation, but what if I have the "C" word? The one that rhymes with answer.
Will you guys make me a magic quilt?
Will you guys vote for me NOT to have the "C" word? You've been such good friends thus far . . .
Speaking of votes . . . OMGOSH, you guys, can I switch gears? Put on your seatbelt so you don't get whiplash.
We are THIS close. Page FIVE! Number 23 in the race.
We are moving like a freakin' freight train here, which, in my humble opinion, feels sooooo dang much better than driving 25.
But now the heat is on and I've got to watch my back. I'm no longer the underdog. I'm on the radar, and I'm the girl to beat.
It's dog eat dog from here on out.
KEEP VOTING! Puleeease!
But keep voting clean. I have been told there are ways. Ways to slide in extra votes from one IP address, but the rules clearly state ONLY ONE VOTE PER DAY PER IP ADDRESS. I would really hate to get disqualified after coming this far this fast.
I've raised the bar and I'm now shooting for page 2--top 10. To be safe.
There's one girl in particular I really want to pass. The one whose profile pic is just her cleavage. She's got a great strategy, I'll give her that, because I know cleavage puts a lot of people in a good mood.
My own cleavage doesn't brighten a room so I'm calling all flat-chested girls everywhere to UNITE!
Vote for me and I'll bring flat back!
So, if I'm in the top 20 by Nov 10th then I'm officially in the finals. YEEEHAAAWW! I then have to make a video and the voting starts all over again. From square one. The playing field will be leveled. In the finals the voting is only worth 20% and the judges opinion is worth 80%. That means I have to BLOW. IT. UP. with the video!
But how? What the what would I do for the video? Besides cleavage!?
I really don't want to come in 2nd place. All my life I've always been a bridesmade and never a bride. Except for that one time I was a bride. But it was at my own wedding so that doesn't count.
I always almost win. In high school I almost won the drill down--2nd place. And I almost won Homecoming Queen--2nd attendant. And Martha will remember when I almost won the Turkey Trot--2nd place behind Cassie Rathgeber. And one year at BYU-H I almost won teacher of the year, but nope, I ended up as honorable mention. Darn that Merilee Webb.
The only time I didn't almost win was when I went to the National Cross Country meet in Fresno California. There were 376 runners and I came across the finish line in 375th place.
I almost lost.
You see my dilemma?
I'm sick of almost winning (or losing). I want to know what it feels like to take it to the hoop!
As FloRida would say, "Let's GET Em!"
(I just lub it when he says that.)
Good Mood Gig from SAM-e