Monday, October 25, 2010

The "C" word and the "V" word

My silly goose daughter keeps checking my blog to make sure I properly disposed of that post about her first date. She seriously sat in Sacrament and listed all the reasons why it was not a date.

Oh, girlfriend, denial ain't no river in Egypt.

That's alls I'm gonna say 'bout that.

So guess what I've been thinking about lately? Besides votes. I've been thinking about loss. Again!

Another lubbed one passed away last week. (WHAT THE WHAT?) He was one our dearest friends from college. Herman, from Kiribati. He was a baker and a chef. He threw us an anniversary luau bigger than our reception (which technically wasn't that hard since we didn't have a reception). He flew to the mainland and made my brother's wedding cake. We helped him plan his wedding and we were there for the birth of his first two children. He even named his first son after my hub.

Cause of death: diabetes.


I'm sick of lubbed ones dying.

And then Lulu almost choked to death on a raw hide bone last night. Luckily I was still awake because I had to shove my hand down her throat and pull it out of her throat.

If lulu goes, I go! Fer reals!

But I don't wanna go. I wanna stay. Please let me stay.

I haven't gotten any of my test results back from my doctor's appointment yet and today I had to go get a sonogram because of some concern. The sonogram lady kept probing and probing and whenever I asked, "Am I gonna die?" she'd just smile and say "We're all gonna die someday, sweetie."

Okay, I fabricated that conversation, but what if I have the "C" word? The one that rhymes with answer.

Will you guys make me a magic quilt?

Will you guys vote for me NOT to have the "C" word? You've been such good friends thus far . . .

Speaking of votes . . . OMGOSH, you guys, can I switch gears? Put on your seatbelt so you don't get whiplash.

We are THIS close. Page FIVE! Number 23 in the race.

We are moving like a freakin' freight train here, which, in my humble opinion, feels sooooo dang much better than driving 25.

But now the heat is on and I've got to watch my back. I'm no longer the underdog. I'm on the radar, and I'm the girl to beat.

It's dog eat dog from here on out.

KEEP VOTING! Puleeease!

But keep voting clean. I have been told there are ways. Ways to slide in extra votes from one IP address, but the rules clearly state ONLY ONE VOTE PER DAY PER IP ADDRESS. I would really hate to get disqualified after coming this far this fast.

I've raised the bar and I'm now shooting for page 2--top 10. To be safe.

There's one girl in particular I really want to pass. The one whose profile pic is just her cleavage. She's got a great strategy, I'll give her that, because I know cleavage puts a lot of people in a good mood.

My own cleavage doesn't brighten a room so I'm calling all flat-chested girls everywhere to UNITE!

Vote for me and I'll bring flat back!

So, if I'm in the top 20 by Nov 10th then I'm officially in the finals. YEEEHAAAWW! I then have to make a video and the voting starts all over again. From square one. The playing field will be leveled. In the finals the voting is only worth 20% and the judges opinion is worth 80%. That means I have to BLOW. IT. UP. with the video!

But how? What the what would I do for the video? Besides cleavage!?

I really don't want to come in 2nd place. All my life I've always been a bridesmade and never a bride. Except for that one time I was a bride. But it was at my own wedding so that doesn't count.

I always almost win. In high school I almost won the drill down--2nd place. And I almost won Homecoming Queen--2nd attendant. And Martha will remember when I almost won the Turkey Trot--2nd place behind Cassie Rathgeber. And one year at BYU-H I almost won teacher of the year, but nope, I ended up as honorable mention. Darn that Merilee Webb.

The only time I didn't almost win was when I went to the National Cross Country meet in Fresno California. There were 376 runners and I came across the finish line in 375th place.

I almost lost.

You see my dilemma?

I'm sick of almost winning (or losing). I want to know what it feels like to take it to the hoop!

As FloRida would say, "Let's GET Em!"

(I just lub it when he says that.)

Vote for Me
Good Mood Gig from SAM-e


kasey kaufusi said...

you can use my cleavage take it I DONT WANT IT!!!

T said...

I took off my wonder bra just to vote for you today - because I had to join the flat band wagon :)

okay, not really - my cleavage and I voted together... and NOT for the cleavage girl!!!

(and here's my vote for a rhymes with answer free result to your tests! just for the record, I'd make you a magic quilt AND a magic pillow to match though... )

IWA (e - va) said...

First off about your dr.s appointment, No news is good news RIGHT? But doesn't it make you wonder what the dr.s and technicians are saying to each other.

Your jumping pages like nobody's business! every time i get onto vote, Im amazed and excited for you that you are that much closer to your dream! You are loved lady!

Sorry about your Kiribati friend.

2nd isnt bad... Julia Roberts was always second too.... (Actually i dont know if its real, but i saw it in a movie... so it's truth to me!)

val of the south said...

I absolutely adore you!

Annette Lyon said...

Keep reminding us so we keep remembering!

I've been tweeting the link too to get you more votes. (Hope it's working!)

Just found another reason to lub you: I've been chronically the ALMOST person my entire life.

Check on the drill down--didn't know you did drill! I was Sterling Scholar ALTERNATE, and many, many other almosts. "You're great, but not QUITE good enough" gets old.

I want you to win! (And I won't even give the C word the validation of existing. No way.)

kasey kaufusi said...

I know something about almost. Sr year my softball team went undefeated all season and we were in the state game and lost. We were almost champions, it still gets me to this day!

ps- I do declare your picture is the cutest one up there for the contest!

Jami said...

I've got all the kids old enough to care voting for you babe.

But dang--I love Merilee Webb. Stinkin' awesome choir director. I'd be conflicted if she was running. Thank goodness some things in life get to be simple.

You win! Go, team Crash! (Wait that doesn't sound quite right. Oh's been quite the day.)

Stephen said...

I've been gone for a couple of weeks so I voted for the first time today. I noticed a lady from Springville up the list. I hope the "C" scare is nothing. My genetic testing was riddled with gene after gene that gave me a higher chance of cancer. Mostly different types of skin cancer. Sounds like I missed a great entry about your daughters first date. You are like her personal paparazzi.

springrose said...

I don't know where they were looking for the c word but I would assume that it was somewhere in the nether regions. Lets just hope it was a little ole ovarian cyst. I get those all the time, not cancer. Just weird ol egg folicles that blow up for some reason. Then they either go away with my cycle or they pop. The popping not so fun, that hurts! But at least it isn't the c word.
And you know we would all make you a magic quilt, your whole house would be covered in magic quilts!
As for giving Lulu rawhide bones they can cause dogs to get tummy cancer. Don't give them to her anymore!
I have been faithfuly voting each day, just keep reminding us so we remember! If I had a laptop I would vote there as well, but we are in the dark age around here and only have one computer!!!! Oh the humanity, only one.
And I have to say this to Kasey Kaufusi, I went to elementary school with a James Kaufusi. His cousins were the Jets. It was a big deal back then. They even came to our state fair to preform. He was so cute, all the girls were in love with him and his jet black hair and lovely milk chocolate skin!!!! (don't let my hub see this ok?!)

Becca said...

Just another flat girl checking in to say I voted (again) and also: I am the queen of #2. As in, being #2. Yeah, it's not the greatest.

Barbaloot said...

Drill downs?! I love those. I used to go to my cousin's dirll competitions and that was my favorite part.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I'm sorry you have to keep staring loss in the face.

Martha said...

I went around the School of Ed and voted on couple of computers and told the students to vote for you. One girl said she already did, but doesn't even know you. Her friend told her to. You better start planning your video!!

So right when I'm reading this Jim and Nan's friend's mom calls and tells me her hub has the C word. She's super scared and worried about how her kids will take it.