Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A gift and a grail

My students are making me think. Deeply. And hardly. About this perilous journey called life.

In short, I have concluded that everyone is sent to this universe with two things: a gift and a grail.

Sometimes using your gift will help you find your grail and sometimes your grail will help you use your gift.

You get me?

Your grail is something only YOU can do, unless you decide you don't want to do it, in which case the next available gifted person will step up and fulfil your destiny.

Your gift is something YOU can do better than anybody else. It takes time and effort to figure out what you're better at than anybody else is, but it's such a rush when you finally have your epiphany.

I'll never forget the moment I realized that I am the best dyslexic map reader in the world.

I was in Washington D.C. at the time. Alone and unafraid. (And unaware of where the helk I was going.) But I learned something about myself that day. If my gut instinct says go left, I should go right.

Works everytime.

Sometimes the best way to figure out where something is located is to by finding out where it's not located.

If you ever need someone to tell you where something is not located in Washington D.C., I'm your dummy.

The Phillips Collection is not located in Dupont circle, (but there's a great little falafel joint where you can sit outside in the rain and cry and pretend you're in Paris all by yourself.)

And anyway, the Phillips collection is way overpriced and over rated. If you want to see your favorite Renoir paintings by all means go to the National Gallery of Art.

Also, the Crowne Plaza Hamilton Hotel is not located on E Street and 13th. (I just thought you should know in case you happen to be staying there. I'm thoughtful that way.)

To summarize, I wish you all the best of luck finding your grail as you brave the elements of life. But if by chance you can't find it, please let me know and I will be happy to tell you where it's not located.


Melanie J said...

My gift is finding the longest way to go anywhere without even trying.

Homer and Queen said...

Oh!!! Before K.P.!

Homer and Queen said... I was saying...what if you don't have a grail, holy or not? No gifts!!!

Thanks for depressing me!

aniC said...

giiiiiirrrl....i AM good with directions...and i have been living in the dc area for 9 years, and i can still let you know where everything is not. nothing confuses me more than getting around in dc. unless its right off the metro. i am a metro wizard.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

aniC, what a comfort to know I am not as dumb as I thought.

Queenie, don't feel depressed. You just haven't found your grail or gift. Let me try to figure out where it is not located for you, okay.

Melanie, I'm kinda good at that too. It's a natural instinct.

My verifier say frack. I like that word.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

What the frack?

I am talented that way also. I have spent hours finding where things are not. But it is usally lost library books, not lost buildings.

Queenie, what about quilts? You can't say you are not a gifted quilter because I have seen proof on your blog.

And yes Crach you should always choose the right. silly silly you ever thinking to go right.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Personally my gift is screaming.

Just saying.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Or maybe being sarcastic. I have a real gift for that, although I don't think I can rival Kristina P. Not that girls got skills.

Do you think there will every be a television show call America's got gifts?

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Look at me being all Kritta like in you comment box.

I wonder where Kritta has been lately. I miss that girl.

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The Crash Test Dummy said...

See what I get for putting the word dyslexia in my post? Someone from India is already trying to help me manage my gift.

April said...

Queen lies...she totally has a gift for rendering waiters speechless! hahahaha!!! And making Shelle and I laugh!! So there! Nani nani boo boo Queen!

I would tell you my gift, but, it was once in a lifetime, and only a few know it....long story & depressing. Are grails supposed to be depressing?

RUDE! I had a depressing grail...go figure!

Martha said...

So true your line that says "Sometimes the best way to figure out where something is located is to by finding out where it's not located."

Now if you could only find your kids when the have an ukulele performance. So if your gut says they are in the farm, they are not, they are on Moana street. If your gut tells you to wait back by the recycling bin for Jimmy to come out of the farm, he's not there, he will have already come home and missed you when you drove around.

And guess what? After the kids were eating their pizza they took off to go to Foodland for a drink. So I drove around to pick them up, and guess what? Yep, missed them and they were wandering all over the parking lot wondering where the frack I was.

IWA said...

So I want you to know that I’ve written my comment three times already and then deleted everything three times.... and guess what? In the process of doing it I think I found my gift....... I always say the wrong things at the wrong time to the wrong people!

Between that self discovery and Nutty Hamsters comments, I can’t stop giggling! So I wanted to comment on the dyslexic Indian so bad.... but it keeps coming out wrong and making me sound like a racist!... so I’m just going to shut my lips!

I heard you got threaded again… yup she spilled….. this neighborhood is too small!

Kritta22 said...

I'm right here kids!

I've been working on the finishing touches on the other quilts so I can jump into our quilt!! Are you so excited??

I so am! I have a vision!

Kritta22 said...

I know what my gift is!!!

**jumping up and down**

I know!! I KNOW!!!

I'm a great commenter'er!

Kritta22 said...

Thanks NHC for missing me! It's hard to balance life. Blogging, quilting, kids!

Sheesh! Somethings gotta give....right now it's the kid.

He is sleeping!

Kritta22 said...

My mom used to say frack until she put a U in there one day on accident and...well she doesn't say it anymore.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Yes you are, Kritta. No denying that one.

Iwa thanks for thinking I am funny, because I am sure I meant to say always choose the right, never the left. Sheesh way to mess up a good joke.

Kritta22 said...

okay off to sew more! I heart you kids!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Really Kritta, a U, huh. That is embarassing. I just watch a Seinfeld episode about bad language, and it was heelariuos

Kritta22 said...

Oh hi NHC!!

Kritta22 said...

Did you read my ford truck story on my blog....that's embarassing!

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

No I did not when did you post it?

Kritta22 said...

Oh gosh....awhile ago....this year though. I'll send you the link if I find it.

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

Hey Crash, did you see my post where I almost got my picture with Donny. huh, did you, did you.

I am LoW said...

Another lesson in life- accept what you are not good at and let it be. I am AWFUL with directions and ALWAYS get lost. Like REALLY bad! And so I decided it just would not be, to not accept this weakness, that I would be cured and just make it happen. So I volunteered for Meals on Wheels.... which of course, involves directions and finding places.... and I just ended up with a very upset director and I never was cured. I finally (after almost a year!) had to accept that it's just the way I am and put the director out of her misery and quit before she fired this volunteer.

But I met some marvelous people.

DeNae said...

Oh, yes, I can totally relate. This is probably why you love the islands, Crash. I was never more consistently "found" than when we lived in the Caribbean. If nothing else, just aim for water and then drive in the same direction until things start to look familiar, or the search party finds you.

I tried to go to one of those helpful dyslexia sites, but it kept saying, "No such place".

It was spelled "gnizilabrevdnagnizilausiv" wasn't it?

Jami said...

That was profound. Truly.

My two year old said "Give me some freakin' milk!" to my husband yesterday. Oops.


Jillybean said...

I've decided that my grail is emptying the garbage, because apparently, I'm the only one around here that is capable of doing this.
My children, however, have the gift of being able to stack the garbage in the garbage can util it's two feet above the top.

The Crash Test Dummy said...


I just wrote a long comment back to each of you. I laughed at you and with you and for you.

I related to you.

I thanked you.

I told each of you you are brilliant and classic.

And while I was typing the internet when down so when I pushed publish I lost all my glittering remarks. And now I don't have time or energy to re-shine.

I have a stiff neck, after all.

But know that ILY!