Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Talking Mirror

Thirteen years ago today I was induced at Bethpage Hospital on Long Island, New York.  I was watching Oprah when my water broke and I began my labor of love by chanting the spiritual mantra.  "Call the anesthesiologist!  CALL the anesthesiologist!  CALL THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST!" 


A week later we hooked up a U-Haul to our Ford Escort, duct taped our twenty month old daughter into her car seat, and with a bag of sunflower seeds and a bladder infection we drove our new baby across the country, where I would spank my daughter for the first time and repeatedly shout at my hub for his aversion to hotels and water bottles.

Having a thirteen year old son is not much different than having a twelve year old son. For those of you who haven't yet tried it, it's like living with a talking mirror. 

"Look at MOM!" he laughs and points as he imitates how stinkin' funny I look while cooking dinner or while reading or while killing a centipede with a machete.  

So here's what it's like trying to throw my thirteen year old a surprise party--keep in mind this is a kid who declared "LIAR! There is no Santa Claus!" the Christmas after we left the Toys R Us price tag on his new bike. 

Okay, so picture a gazillion party guests crammed into our house last night, ducking under the table and behind the couch, in the closets and around doorways.  

Picture my hub pulling into the driveway with my son and his two best friends after taking them to a movie.

Picture us all waiting to spring.  

And waiting.

And shifting.

And waiting.

Picture the phone ringing and me whispering "DON'T ANSWER IT!"  at the top of my lungs. 

Picture a cackling coming from the window behind us. 

Picture a bazillion crouching, shifting, party guests all doing a double take at the same instant. 

Just in time to see my son at the window pointing and laughing and shouting, "SURPRISE!"

But I so got him back this morning while he was getting ready for church.


Take that SON!  Who's the talking mirror NOW!


Amber Lynae said...

That is funny... and a precious picture. I think it is hard to keep surprises from the people we love. They know us too well, they can tell when we are doing things out of the ordinary. Maybe sometime I will tell teh story of my husband trying to surprise me when he purposed. I think he still thinks he was super smooth, but it was so obvious. Gotta love him for trying though.
I bet your son thought it was SO fun catching you.

Mariko said...

I was RIGHT HERE and Amber commented right in front of me.

I love being surprised, so much so that I have to figure out if I am being surprised before I am surprised.

I'm really good at ruining anything.

13? Does this mean I'm going to have him in my class soon?

Emily Anne Leyland ( Art-n-Sewl) said...

Aww happy day to all of you :)

April said...

AWWWW......the kids are growing! And he's cheeky too! I like it!

Martha said...

Mariko,You'll have to wait another whole year for Crash's son. He'll be in 8th grade.

Watch out, because Christensen kid #3 will be in there too. (But, she's a girl and she's actually not a trouble maker like the boys.)

Happy Birthday Zach!

DeNae said...

Naughty, naughty boy! But dang, is he cute. It's a great age, mom! Happy day to him, and happy year to you!

DeNae said...

And I only just now noticed I'm on your list of Soul Sistahs! I'm honored, Crash! Seriously! Woo-hoo!!

Jami said...

Great story: He gotcha! What a fantastic birthday experience.

Love the picture.

Melanie J said...

Good looking kid!

Barbaloot said...

Oh-that is too funny! So did your husband spill the beans, or is your son just brilliant? :)

T said...

maybe it's just the age... but my eldest would do EXACTLY that... well, he would if I were the cool kind of mom that threw surprise parties for him...

Nutty Hamster Chick said...

think I need to hear more details about the cross country trip. Sounds like it was life altering.

Debbie said...

Wow that little sneaky mcsneakster. I love your surprise picture though. Way to show him up.

Sandi said...

Ohhh I would have had to smack him around a little bit after that. Smug little booger! I love love LOVE that pic though, frame it!

CaJoh said...

Ahh, but now he is a Teenager (Something to know he is for the next 7 years).

We tried to have a surprise party for my step-daughter yesterday (she did not look very happy-or surprised).

Jillybean said...

I have one of those 13 year old sons at my house too.

I understand.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

So fun to see Jillybean and Cajoh and Jami in here again. Just like old times.

Mariko, he and Martha's super model daughter will have to wait another year to get you, darnit.

You will love them both. Zach isn't a trouble maker at all. He and Kameron will keep you laughing. They are both cute writers. I can't wait for you to get him since you already know his so well from the blog.

I am LoW said...

Way too cute and way too funny!!!! I love it!

Heidi Ashworth said...

Best. Photo. Ever.

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

K he is so handsome! But most of all he did exactly what YOU would have done right? right? So your influence is found in everything your kids do! lol

That was good... and you got him!!! lol!

Happy Birthday boY!

I feel cheated though... cause I never was able to chant call the anesthesiologist... well at least for my first one! :)

You check out Sage's Marriage Contract on Real World??? can't wait to see what you have to say! loL~

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Oh my gosh, you kill me!!! I love your blog, you crack me up and that picture is fabulous!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. And as you talk about teenagers, the word verification is "bratt"!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Kooky Queen, if you love it then why don't you marry it!